An Evening in Extemporaneous Hel

I try to be spontaneous, really I do. I mean, much of my mischief requires careful forethought and meticulous planning. The precise alignment of materials and circumstances doesn’t just happen, you know. But even though I am very good at thinking on my feet and taking advantage of what serendipity presents, I could always be better. I mentioned this to Sigyn the other day, and bless her heart, she decided to help me out.

In the most unexpected and socially painful of ways.

Which is why I find myself tonight in a place I would have sworn you would never find me should I live to be as old as Yggdrasil.

For the next excruciating forty-five minutes I will be part of a Group Improv Theater Class. Norns save me.

Our first exercise is one the instructor, a cheerful, golden haired, bewinged giantess, calls “Props.” We have been given a pile of…things, and our job is to come up with as many creative uses as we can for them in as short a time as possible, switching scenes whenever we hear a bell ring.

I don’t care for the look of these things, and I can’t say I expect much from the motley assemblage of fellow participants. And I think the instructor may be napping (or drinking) on the job… Still. anything to keep my sweetie happy!

ding!

“Bzzz! I’m off to make some yaupon honey!”

ding!

“For dereliction of duty, I sentence you to three days in the stocks!”

ding!

“Now class, what is this letter?”

“B.”

“Very good, Panda! And what starts with B?”

“Bamboo!”

ding!

“What a lousy circus parade! Just one crummy elephant and no clowns at all.”

ding!

“The 200-meter hurdles race is about to start.”

“Loki is an odds-on favorite since he’s pretty nimble, and I don’t know how well Miss Mouse can run in that dress.”

“That’s right and, of course, the elephant is the only mammal that can’t jump.”

ding!

“Why did I let Sigyn talk me into this roller-coaster ride?”

“I hope that mouse hasn’t eaten recently, because I don’t fancy cheese-barf on the back of my head.”

ding!

“Sigyn, I think that angel may be a bit too large for your Yule tree.”

ding!

And that’s a wrap!

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