An Evening in Extemporaneous Hel

I try to be spontaneous, really I do. I mean, much of my mischief requires careful forethought and meticulous planning. The precise alignment of materials and circumstances doesn’t just happen, you know. But even though I am very good at thinking on my feet and taking advantage of what serendipity presents, I could always be better. I mentioned this to Sigyn the other day, and bless her heart, she decided to help me out.

In the most unexpected and socially painful of ways.

Which is why I find myself tonight in a place I would have sworn you would never find me should I live to be as old as Yggdrasil.

For the next excruciating forty-five minutes I will be part of a Group Improv Theater Class. Norns save me.

Our first exercise is one the instructor, a cheerful, golden haired, bewinged giantess, calls “Props.” We have been given a pile of…things, and our job is to come up with as many creative uses as we can for them in as short a time as possible, switching scenes whenever we hear a bell ring.

I don’t care for the look of these things, and I can’t say I expect much from the motley assemblage of fellow participants. And I think the instructor may be napping (or drinking) on the job… Still. anything to keep my sweetie happy!


“Bzzz! I’m off to make some yaupon honey!”


“For dereliction of duty, I sentence you to three days in the stocks!”


“Now class, what is this letter?”


“Very good, Panda! And what starts with B?”



“What a lousy circus parade! Just one crummy elephant and no clowns at all.”


“The 200-meter hurdles race is about to start.”

“Loki is an odds-on favorite since he’s pretty nimble, and I don’t know how well Miss Mouse can run in that dress.”

“That’s right and, of course, the elephant is the only mammal that can’t jump.”


“Why did I let Sigyn talk me into this roller-coaster ride?”

“I hope that mouse hasn’t eaten recently, because I don’t fancy cheese-barf on the back of my head.”


“Sigyn, I think that angel may be a bit too large for your Yule tree.”


And that’s a wrap!

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