Day: January 13, 2022

The Last Victory She Will Ever Have

Colder weather and an ugly, snotty cold are keeping the human female indoors today. She has plenty of productive things she could be doing–working on then next manuscript for the BBBB (Big Book of Boring Botany), emptying the dishwasher, attacking the dust rhinos under the sofa, catching up on correspondence, doing some stitching, or even working with her silly stamp collection. But is she doing any of these things? No. No, she is not.

What she is doing is playing games on her tablet. The game of choice today seems to be Qwirkle. It’s a tile-matching game and, ordinarily, she’s actually pretty good at it. She has been known to trounce even the Hard Robot:

Ehehehee! She just put down her tablet to go blow her nose again and brew herself another cup of hot tea. I have taken the liberty of improving the AI that runs her game. The next time she plays, she will find that the robot opponent always gets exactly the tile it needs to score big on its next turn if she leaves even the smallest opening. I have also fixed it so that she will have multiple, mathematically extremely improbable, instances of having two of the same tile in her hand in any game she plays. Sometimes she’ll even have two pairs at the same time, meaning she’ll effectively be playing with four tiles instead of six.


Ehehehehe! She hasn’t won a game since! Her self esteem is as much in tatters as her phlegm-riddled upper respiratory system. Idunn’s Little Apples! She’s switching to word games! And she has started with the sort of crossword puzzle with no clues, only a few letters revealed, leaving the solver to figure out what all the blank spaces are.

Oh! She has solved it! Without too much trouble, actually:

That should be a nice pick-me-up, don’t you think?

Or it would be, if I hadn’t tinkered with the site so that, no matter how quick she is, she always gets the same score.

There, there, dull mortal. Finish your tea and watch some stupid Tik-toks. I think that’s more your speed.

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