A Truth Universally Acknowledged, Part II: The Excruciating Execution

The human female has taken the first few stitches in the new project, starting with the little triangular pediment over the front door of the larger house. And now the window to the left. And now…

But wait. Does that window look funny to you, mortal? It does, doesn’t it? It’s not square. Ehehehehe! She has discovered another bit of my mischief. That fabric she pulled from her stash, the one that’s labeled “evenweave”, isn’t. No, indeed! It’s about 29 threads in one direction and 26 in the other, instead of 28 both ways. There is no way to make any part of the design come out right if she uses this fabric.

The part that tickles me is that she tried using this brand of fabric before and was halfway through a friend’s wedding sampler when she figured it out. She should have known this might happen! Now, foolish woman, can you keep this sort of thing from happening again?

Crude, but probably effective.

All right, she’s pulled a piece of 16-count Aida fabric out of her stash and has started over. Little triangle pediment over the door… Window to the left. Now wait just a minute—are you sure you counted correctly? I think your window is a little too high.

Rip, rip, rip.

Third time’s the charm, right? Here’s the little window, and…why isn’t it square? I thought we fixed that problem? Oh. You put in an extra row. Great Frigga’s Hairpins, woman, you did that to yourself!

Rip, rip, rip.

Fourth time lucky! Look! A pediment and a most of a window, minus one row and the windowframe.

It’s properly aligned. It’s square. Well done, mortal! You’ve managed about forty stitches!

Sweet Sif on a cracker! The infernal woman has been thinking and thinking and staring at it and has decided that she wants the windows to be lighter. That symbol is going to be the color she picked in the rest of the piece, but the windows need to be lighter. DMC 926 is just “not good enough.”

Rip, rip, rip.

Sigyn, I have an idea. Let’s you and I go get some bricks and mortar and timber and roofing slates. We’ll start building an actual house and see who finishes their cottage first, us or the crazy lady who just lost a needle in the sofa..

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