A Few Last Kitchen Mysteries

Time to wind up the kitchen mischief, I think. I don’t want to overplay my hand.

The human male needs lemons. I’ll have him look in the cold box and not find them. Yup, no lemons to be seen here! He’s dashing out to the store for buy a couple.

Now the female, newly arrived home from the herbarium, has noticed meal prep in progress and has picked up the dropped reins of the same recipe. She’s making a thorough rummage through the bottom-back of the left hand crisper drawer and TA DA!! Two lemons!

The male has returned and now there are four lemons. They don’t need four, so the extras will get shoved–you guessed it!–bottom-back of the left hand crisper drawer…

It’s always good to plan for future mischief.

Which leads me to point out some mischief I set up long ago and which has just now borne fruit. Or, rather, borne bulbs. In her quest for lemons, the human female encountered a brown paper bag with something lumpy inside. This, in and of itself, is nothing unusual. She is a squirrel-like gardener and is always stashing away seeds and what-not and forgetting about them. I know for a fact that, right now, there are several dozen out-of-sight-out-of-mind jujube and persimmon seeds undergoing cold stratification in there, all snuggled up in damp shredded newspaper. (Will they ever get planted? Who knows!)

But in this particular brown paper bag are….

Two soft, aged, slightly moldy, very, very sprouty onions.

Questions abound. Just how old are these? When were they bought? Why were they in a paper bag? She knows she didn’t buy them. The human male is just as flummoxed. He doesn’t recognize them, either. All onions purchased for culinary purposes have been duly consumed. Were they obtained in some other way? The female is calling her mother to ask if they were perhaps extras from the feasting in El Paso and sent back here after the visit in December, so as to make room in the female’s mother’s fridge. Her mother is disavowing all knowledge… Ehehehehe! The explanation may never be found!

Who knew you could created such chaos for under a dollar?

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