Day: March 14, 2022

Musings, Part I: I’m Getting Some GREAT Ideas

There is a particular exhibit at a museum in the Big City to the South that the humans are interested in seeing. Ancient people, artifacts, historical blah blah blah. Sigyn seems enthusiastic as well, so it looks like I will also be along on this jaunt, since I don’t trust the humans to make sure she arrives back home in one piece.

We are here now, having found a very good parking spot, thanks to my godly powers of fending off school buses full of very noisy small people. What is this exhibit even about, anyway?

Hmm. Apparently this is all about some ancient ruler, someone so powerful that they added “the Great” to the end of his name. He’s no longer around, so I won’t have to fight him for control of this rock, and perhaps I can pick up some good tips for my own conquest. Because “Loki the Great” sounds pretty good to me.

Many of the visitors are just looking at the DLAs (Dramatically Lit Artifacts) and sparing the accompanying text the merest glance. Ha! All the better for me, since I know that it’s the details I can really learn from.

(Taking notes furiously) That is a very sound strategy! I should try that. “The Loki Building.” “The Loki High Dam.” “The Temple of Loki at Lokiopolis.” “The Great Wall of Loki.” It’s not only good PR, it will save a ton of money on actual construction costs!

Oooh! Crushing my enemies underfoot. I like the sound of that, too! I can think of some people who desperately need crushing!

Perhaps I should be paying more attention to the DLAs. Instructions are ever better with illustrations, after all.

This sketch-on-limestone of this fellow riding in a chariot and holding the heads of his enemies by their hair is quite nice. Pity the lower half is missing.

The fellow on the left is a captive with a rope around his neck. I could do that! Rope is easy to come by, and I’m sure that technology has come up with some better rope options in the last few thousand years.

Tribute!

That’s what I want–an endless procession of conquered peoples bringing me presents and fancy edibles. Of course, they will have to bring the cute baby animals when Sigyn isn’t around, because that would result in less of a feast and more of a petting zoo.

And I suppose I will need someone to tidy up after all the headless enemies, the captives crushed underfoot, the feasts of tribute, and the petting zoo. Because I’m not cleaning all that up. How did this ancient fellow deal with it all?

An army of groveling servants, eh? I could go for that! “On your knees, peasants! Clean my palace! Bring me my feast! Fetch more presents for my Sigyn! Poop-scoop that petting zoo!”

Oh, yes, that sounds very good. I’m so glad I came today—I’m going to be the greatest all-powerful ruler yet!

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