Author: lokispeaks

Ridiculously smart and incredibly good-looking

Disappointing Footwear

Our recent tramp through the woods demonstrated to the human female that her hiking boots no longer fit properly.  (If she had normal feet, instead of malformed trotters, she might be a more appealing and pleasant person, but there seems little chance of that now.)

Thanks to the convenience of the internet, she has been able to order herself some new ones.  I helped her choose them.  Wasn’t that nice of me?

Today they arrived.  That was quick!

hikingboot1

The left one fits fine and is “so, so comfy.”  The right one, after a few steps, has demonstrated that it is clearly going to be a misery, so back they go.

Oh, how sad for you!

hikingboot2

Ehehehehehe!

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All Me, All The Time

The human female somehow managed to “unstick” the photo she likes from her laptop’s desktop.  Goodbye, downloaded photo of Yosemite Valley on a snowy midnight!

Hello, splendid replacement that I put on!

hacked the desktop

Ehehehehehe!

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Gathering Haycorns

I think Sigyn and the human female must be part squirrel.  There is something acquisitive in them that compels them to pick up every shiny round haycorn and stuff their pockets with them.  (I suspect the human female stuffs her cheeks with them as well, when no one is looking.)

There is a plentitude of haycorns about–it has been a good year for them.  The actual squirrels are fat and happy.  The human female is also plumping out her sweaters in a way that adds weight (weight–Ehehehe!) to my theory about her secretive munchings.  At any rate, as Sigyn says, “Hooray for oak trees!”

dangle1

(later)

A number of haycorns seem to have followed us home from the park.  Now it’s time for—Great Frigga’s corset!  What is the human female doing with those things?  Is she making some sort of pauper’s haycorn soup?

floating haycorns

Ah.  Sigyn has explained that these haycorns are from water oaks, a species the human female would like to have on the property.  This is apparently the “float test.”  The ones that float have been nibbled internally by bugs and would not sprout.  The ones that sink are still good.  She’ll put them in something damp and tuck them away in the cooling box for a nap and plant them in the spring.  (If she remembers–she has a long and distinguished record of stashing seeds in there and forgetting them entirely.)

Oh, too bad.  A large number of them are floating and there will only be a few to plant.  Human, you have chosen poorly.

However, Sigyn can make excellent use of the remnants.

acornchapeau

Mais oui, mon amour, ton petit chapeau est très, très charmant.

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A Brief Winter Walk

It’s been foggy a lot in this part of Midgard lately. The humans have ventured out on a rare sunny day to see what’s going on in the local woods.

By Idunn’s little apples!  There is a ubiquitous abundance of holly berries this year!

hollydangle

¡ǝlƃuɐp pooƃ ɐ ɹoɟ ʇods ʇɔǝɟɹǝd puɐ ʎɐp ʇɔǝɟɹǝd ɐ s,ʇᴉ ʇɐɥʇ sʞuᴉɥʇ uʎƃᴉS

It’s not just hollies that can be dangled in.

heterothecadangle

Camphorweed does just as well.  Sigyn is beyond excited–we’ve been here scarcely a quarter of an hour and she’s had the chance to dangle in plants with both her favorite colors!

(poke, poke, poke.)  Not all plants are large enough to climb in, though.  This one is growing right in the middle of the trail, and it’s very, very teeny.

tinyplant

Sigyn has fallen in love with it.   Don’t hug it, Sweetie.  The human female says it can have spiny fruit.

Oooo!   We have found A Mysterious Hole in this creek bank!

a hole

I wouldn’t go in, if I were you…  But, human female–you feel free to stick a finger in and tell us if there’s a snake or sharp-toothed rodent or something in there, all right?

We’ve been walking and poking at things for a while now.  Time for a rest.

mysleepnumberis moss

My sleep number is “moss.”

Clever Sigyn has found a different moss.

moremoss

Sigyn doesn’t know if this one’s a moss or a liverwort.

liverwort

All this green stuff looks alike to me.  Possibly one of the human female’s plant-nerd friends could sort them out, but I really don’t care.

We’re headed to the Sedge Meadow.  I like the Sedge Meadow.  It’s all green and dapply.

pathview

Sweet Glittering Bifrost!  What’s this?

trail closed

I had heard the City was Doing Something, but I wasn’t sure what…

But, since I’m a god, barricades and notices don’t apply to me.  Come along, Sigyn.  Leave the puny mortals here obeying all the signs like good little sheep and let’s you and I keep going.

Have fun staring at the signage!  We’re going to go pet sedges.

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Mischief Update: Where to Start?

I’m already perfect, so I don’t make resolutions, but I do have a goal or two for this year.  One is to be more regular in providing Mischief Updates.  I write about the Big Mischiefs, but not always about the petty, grinding, day to day naughtiness that I thrive on.  Looking back, I haven’t done one since last summer!  To that end, I’ve decided to just sit and type today, and as far as I get is what you get of my infinite naughtiness.   Looking in my Mischief Journal, I have five and a half pages of notes.  I have been a very, very busy boy.

I had the Purveyor of Head Bones send a Second Notice invoice when they shipped some back-ordered platypus skulls.  It woke the human female up–she thought she was in trouble.  I love that deer-in-the-headlights look.

I made a teensy little power outage one day and the freezer with all of the stock of Useful Bacteria warmed up.  I tried calculating all the lost hours of culturing and aliquotting and labeling, but I gave up after a squillion.  And then I laughed as I watched the human female’s minions clean the contaminated freezer.

I arranged for an endless stream of hungry graduate students to traipse through the human female’s office, asking for Teaching Assistant jobs.  It’s such fun to make her have to tell all of those sad, pleading eyes, “No.”

When it came time for the TA training workshop, the human female and her minions were in charge of taping and playing back the practice mini-lectures.  First, I made all the camera cords look like this:

cable woes

What one goes with which TV?  Are the TV’s similarly color-coded?  I don’t know, and neither did they.   Although the minions had checked all the camera and power cord pairs beforehand, I snarled it all up again and arranged that one of the cameras, on the day of, had the wrong sort of output cable.  Then the camera the human female was responsible for somehow had the recording quality set too high, and it ran out of memory right in the middle of someone’s talk.  Embarrassing!  She had to scramble around and get a card reader from the human male and then quickly find the manual for the reader online while everyone was waiting.  Then, at the end of the day, one of the minions dropped a camera.  Odin’s eyepatch, those things are expensive!  It worked for a while, after a fashion.  The display was gone, but if you knew what the display should be, you could poke the right buttons and it would record.  I kicked it a little overnight and the next day it died entirely.  Ehehehehe.  What do you suppose the human female forgets she is one camera down when it’s time for this year’s workshop?

I tinkered with the departmental computer server so that multiple TAs’ directory permissions….vanished.  Others had their cards inexplicably not work to open doors.  The system that lets the human female code door cards wouldn’t let her log in.  Note to self:  this kind of stunt inconveniences a LOT of people.  Must do again.

The folks who were supposed to show up to sell goggles didn’t.  Cue parade of students wandering into the front office to ask where they can buy them.

There was a whole spate of spectrophotometers misbehaving for no reason.

And that brings us just to the end of the first week of last semester!

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They Make Me So Proud

You may recall that I’ve been at pains to train the students to put their microscopes away in amusing ways after they’re finished with them.

The human female’s prep staff has been going through all the lab rooms, making sure everything is all tidy for the upcoming start of labs this semester.  Imagine my pride and pleasure when they found this in one of the cupboards:

scope taking a nap

Sniff!  So, so proud.

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