Author: lokispeaks

Ridiculously smart and incredibly good-looking

Keep Eating Like That and The Bao Is Not The Only Thing That Is Going To Be Fat

A trip to the Big City to the South means the chance to eat cuisine not available in the hometown.  The humans have a few places they like to go.  Today, we are back at the place that serves the folded pillowy bread things.

Sigyn is quite fond of the Spring Chicken Bao if the very hot stuff is left off.


I, on the other hand, have my eye on that mountain of fries smothered in bulgogi.


Nom nom nom.  Come to Loki!

Great Frigga’s Corset!  Sigyn has caught her sleeve on something and torn off a portion!


Are you all right, my love?  You are not injured?  Clothes may be replaced, but your welfare is of the utmost importance!

I am much relived to see that my Sigyn is unscathed.  This neighborhood is rife with boutiques.  Come, perhaps we will find something in one of them that you like.

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Sigyn and the Tiny Shinies

Our second stop in the Big City to the South is Spice Shop Number Two.  We have managed to secure a parking spot right in front of the establishment!

Which appears to have been de-establishedSo sorry, human male!  Looks like you will have to order your urfa chilies online from now on.  You will have to console yourself with a trip to the Purveyor of Pens, which is fortuitously just in the next block.

Sigyn and the human female are taking this opportunity to have a good snoop in the bead shop which is next door to the defunct spicery.

Now, keep in mind the human female does not need any more beads.  She has bags and boxes and jars and strings and hanks of beads.  She and Sigyn must be part magpie, though, because it has taken them approximately ten seconds to dive into the broken- strand bin and start swimming.



Though I saw to it that they did not emerge with the bronze-colored jump rings the human female initially entered the store for, they have emerged with quite a haul.  There are three strands of faceted beads with the matching larger beads that they had to sift the loose beads for.


I heard the human female counting to fifty and muttering something about “decades”.  I can only assume that that is how long it’s going to take her to actually finish the project.

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Spice is Nice, But Plushies are Possessed

The humans woke up today and just decided to “run down” to the Big City to the South.  (Any excuse not to mow the lawn, eh, female?)  Now, if it were just me, teleportation would be involved and our errands would take maybe half an hour.  But since I refuse to waste good magic on bad mortals, “running down” involves two hours in the car each way and all of the accompanying traffic jams, bad drivers, and wrong turns.

Our first stop is Spice Store Number One.  Sigyn and I like this place, though I can do without the prickly, incipient-sneeze feeling that sniffing all the sample jars gives me.

Looking at the jars is giving me some good ideas.  It might be a little hard, though,  to sneak this into the humans’ food…


Hmm.  This stuff is a familiar color, so…


I wonder if the humans would notice before they sprinkled their applesauce, if I swapped this out for the cinnamon?

Sigyn has gravitated toward the kiddie corner, where there are books, crayons and paper, and a small assortment of plush toys.  The cow seems harmless enough,


…though its fatuous, vacant stare makes me wonder about its IQ.

But Blessed Glittering Bifrost!  What in the Nine Realms is this…this… rainbow-hooved and be-horned thing?!


Surely those eyes are portals to a realm of purest evil!

Back away slowly, Sigyn.  Back away slowly…

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Sometimes the Emails Are Just TOO Appropriate

The human female is back in an air-cast boot.  It’s been fun to watch her turn red and squirm when people ask her what she has managed to do to herself this time.  It usually goes like this:

“Oh, my goodness!  How did you hurt yourself?!”




Yes, indeed, the human female is inept enough to give herself a soft-tissue injury just by existing.  The boot cast is clompy, ungainly, and a sweaty torture in the 90+° heat.  She’s getting around all right, but it’s slowing her down more than a bit.

Today I arranged for the following to be sent to her campus email.

slow moving vehicle

It will make more sense once she figures out I’ve pinned a bright orange triangle to her butt.

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Souvenir d’un Déjeuner Passé, Deuxième Partie: Les Entrées et Les Desserts

By my fine pointy helmet, it was hard to choose what to eat!  In the end, most of the party agreed to order different things and then perhaps “swap tastes.”  I, of course, wouldn’t dream of sharing with anyone but Sigyn.

The Blue-haired Goddaughter opted for a salmon sandwich.


I was really, REALLY hoping the human female would ask for a nice big taste.  One of these days I’m going to see her break out in that famous pebbly rash she’s always talking about…

Another of the party chose quiche and a cup of fruit.


Now see, this seems all backwards to me.  Pie should have fruit in it (but NOT cantaloupe–bleargh!), not on the side, and eggs are not pie material.

The human female, out of all that marvelous menu, chose something she actually makes very well herself—French onion soup.  Great Frigga’s hairpins!  Doesn’t she know that dining out is for trying something different?!


The salad–excuse me, salade— had spinach, prosciutto, cranberries, asiago cheese, pear, and caramelized pecans, so that, at least, was a little adventurous.

We all saved room for dessert.  The Blue-haired Goddaughter made sure she saved some room for strawberries Romanoff crêpes.


I was going to ask to try them, but le sucre en poudre est une bête à enlever de mon manteau.

Sigyn and the human female, between them, managed to consume this entire almond croissant…


And still have room to eat one or two of the beignets that someone else couldn’t finish.


Madame la femme humaine, vraiment vous êtes un petite cochon.

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Souvenir d’un Déjeuner Passé, Première Partie: Les Préliminaires

When I become sole ruler of this realm, it will be important to have documentation* of all my mighty exploits, which are, you must admit, the stuff of legend and worthy of many a ballad or saga.  So today I was looking through the photographic evidence of my mischief, making sure all was in order, and I came across a set of images from a culinary adventure which happened a few months ago and which I have heretofore not chronicled.  It’s not that I forgot about it–it’s simply that I’ve had so much other mischief to write about!  But since I know that my devoted readers will want all of the details, so allow me to recount…

This all occurred on the humans’ most recent visit to the Blue-haired Goddaughter and her family–as well as a number of friends–in the Big City to the North.  While the males of the house party amused themselves with board games, the females decided to venture forth in search of retail adventures. Sigyn, I could tell, was quite keen to accompany them, and I went along as her companion and bodyguard.  (Leave my beloved unprotected in a strange city?  Not on my life!)

The outing included a genteel repast at a charming little bistro.  It had an English name, but it was rather Frenchified on the inside.  Sigyn and I found the menu to be quite intriguing.  There were so many wonderful dishes from which to choose.

Sigyn thought about ordering the Goat Cheese and Arugula Salad.


I was in the mood for something more substantial.


I couldn’t believe, with chicken and waffles and calimari on the menu, that Sigyn would even contemplate a fungus burger.


Planning the meal around the dessert, however, was entirely in character for both of us.


It was a chilly day, so Sigyn thought tea might be nice.  She’s a big fan of Earl Gray.  The very aroma of it makes her drool.


But I thought this one would suit me better.


So what did everyone finally order?  Je te le dirai demain…

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*pics or it didn’t happen

A Late Spring/Early Summer Jaunt

The humans are traveling to see the male’s family in the tiny city rather far to the west.  Sigyn and I have tagged along.  Sigyn, because she likes long car rides and seeing new things; I, because new surroundings can equal new opportunities for mischief.

The roadsides have shifted from spring’s blue, pink, and white to that obnoxious orange-yellow shade that denotes late-spring/early summer in Texas.

late spring roadside

That photo doesn’t do it justice.  For miles and miles and miles, it’s as if someone melted all the school buses, number 2 pencils, and Kodak film boxes in the world and poured the resulting mess onto the roadsides.  Sigyn thinks it’s pretty.  I think that color adds about 3 degrees to the perceived ambient air temperature, which, believe me, is far too warm for comfort already.

The home we are visiting is a smallish one, so we are lodging in an in.  I have finally broken Sigyn of wanting to eat sink cakes, but she still enjoys a good game of hide and seek in new environment.


Great Frigga’s hairpins!  Sigyn has vanished completely!  She is entirely invisible!  I will have to search long and hard if I am to discover her clever hiding place!

(the next morning)

True to form, the human female has headed straight for the funny-shaped breakfast maker on the buffet line.  This time her efforts have yielded a hazard map of the state.


Northern Panhandle:  tornadoes.  Far west Trans-Pecos:  dust storms.  Lower Rio Grande  Valley:  hurricanes.  Southeast Texas:  alligators.  There is nothing for it but to apply butter and syrup and put the state out of its misery.

Sigyn, uncharacteristically, has opted for a slightly less sticky breakfast.  Is there anything more boring than raisin bran?


Besides the human female, I mean.

Off to visit with the folks!  This is the part of the visit I’ve been looking forward to.   I understand there are baby photos of the male, which ought to be good for a laugh, his mother has some tech-support issues with her computer, and I’ve arranged for some chiggers to meet up with the female as she answers some garden questions for the mother-in-law.   See?  New opportunities for mischief!

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