Random Mischief

Found Them! The Perfect Posies

I think I have the right idea with a potted plant rather than cut flowers, something that Sigyn can enjoy for a long time.  The hibiscus I looked at was a step in the right direction, but lavender is not her favorite color.

Ah, orchids!  Lovely, and quite exotic!  The blooms last for months.  Sigyn would love an orchid plant!

This one is in a very pretty pot.

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The tag says “Dendrobium.”  It’s very nice, but I’m not sure orange is any better than lavender.

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Now this has promise!

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Yellow is Sigyn’s second-favorite color.  And this one also has the pretty china pot.

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It also has some buds, so it will stay in flower for a long time.

The label says Cattleya.

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Idunn’s apples!  It is very heavy!

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Okay, orchid, you are coming with me, but I am not carrying you all the way home.  I think magic is called for!  Luckily, levitation is child’s play for one of my skill.

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What can I say?  If you’re levitating one plant, you might as well magic them all…

Happy Eater Bunny Day, sweetie!

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In Search of the Perfect Posies

In the end, we left the international market yesterday with nothing more than the human male’s ginger bears.  Sigyn really is looking forward to the Eater Bunny festival, though, so I thought I would get her a little present.

Flowers seem to be associated with the Eater Bunny, and Sigyn likes flowers, so I’m off to the floral area of the local farmer’s market.  I just hope they have something worthy of her.

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Ah, I see Mistress Mus is here today.  She usually has a nice selection.

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Good morning, Mistress Mus.  I’m in search of something special for my Sigyn today.

“How about a dozen princess-pink roses?  You can never go wrong with roses.”

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No, thank you.  Roses are so prosaic .  Anyone can give roses.  I need something a bit more unusual.

“Well, have a look around, dear.  Just give a shout if you need help.”

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Hmm.  A dried arrangement is a little unusual–and definitely low-maintenance!  But do I really want to convey the message that DEAD STUFF would send?

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Not to mention that this arrangement seems a little top-heavy.

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Perhaps something in a potted plant?

This geranium isn’t bad…

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It has the bonus that the human female is allergic to the smell of geranium leaves.  But geraniums are still more than a little pedestrian.  I shall keep looking.

This hibiscus might do.  They make good container plants and will live for years if you’re willing to bring them in when it freezes.

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But pale purple is such a blah color.  And this is a very boring pot.  Surely there’s something here that will be perfect for my sweetie?

What are those over there?

(to be continued…)

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Shopping and Seasonal Silliness, Part II: The Seasonal Part

Well, they have not thrown us out of the establishment yet, Sigyn, so let us meander through the seasonal offerings.

It would appear that Midgardians are gearing up once again for the annual festival of the Eater Bunny.  Once more, children will seek to appease the ravenous lagomorph with gifts of colored eggs and other frivolities.

Ah.  Votary images of the foul beast.

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Those are properly terrifying.  Step back, Sigyn–the tall one looks poised to crush unwary supplicants!

Oh, but this one appears considerably more benign.

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Have a care, my love!  The creature may seem “wooby” and soft, but there are no doubt formidable incisors hidden behind that tiny smirk.

Usually at this time of year, one can find effigies constructed of inferior confectionery.

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And here they are!  Although these shiny bunnies may be less duplicitous than the larger statues, which always seem to offer days of solid, cocoa-induced euphoria, but which are usually waxy, hollow shams which taste of disappointment and false promises.

Moving on.  My beloved is enchanted with these miniature, egg-shaped snow globes.  

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In find them completely baffling and unscientific.  In what reality do they make sense?!  Not only would baby ducks, chickens, and rabbits both drown AND suffocate if sealed in containers of water, but the vigorous shaking one is expected to do would scramble their brains permanently!  Not to mention that if caught in sudden spring blizzard, such as is represented by these baubles, baby animals would likely freeze to death!  Hmmm.  Maybe that is the whole point.  Perhaps these are meant as symbolic offerings to the Eater Bunny—stand-ins for actual animals sacrificed to its capricious, insatiable hunger?

Sigyn has found something which reeks less of death.

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You are mighty cute up there, precious!

And very conspicuous.  Pray dismount, my love–the sales clerk is headed in our direction, and she seems less than pleased.

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Ah, very clever!  Blending in is always a good strategy.

With any luck, we shall remain undetected while the humans are ejected for loitering.

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You Never Know What You’re Going to Find on a Walk

After a few days of heavy thunderstorms, the sun has finally come out.  Sigyn and I, having contracted a near-fatal case of cabin fever, are going for a walk.

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Fisi, back off a little, will you?  No one likes hot hyena-breath down the back of their neck.

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Sleipnir’s fetlocks!  Where is that brainless carnivore going now?  Fisi!  Come back here!

What have you got in your mouth, you stupid beast?

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Oh, no!  Where did you find a kitten?  Don’t look, Sigyn!

Drop it, Fisi!

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Bad hyena!  No biscuit!

(poke, poke, poke.)  I’m sorry love.  I… I think the wee little thing has joined his no-doubt valiant ancestors in Kitty Valhalla.

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Or maybe not.  I guess the furry morsel was just a little scared!  Give it a good cuddle, my love, and let it toddle off home.  There are too many felines in our house already.

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I don’t see any toddling happening.

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Only bonding.

Aw, Sigyn, for Frigga’s sake don’t feed it.

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Sigh.  I should have known that this was one battle I wasn’t going to win.

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I Spent My Anniversary Playing With Toys, Part III: A Visit to the Overland Circus

I will not lie.  I wish to be very far away from that sinister duck and that infinitely creepy pineapple.  There are several cases of circus toys on the other side of the room, my love.  Let us go over there.  What could possibly go wrong in a circus?

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See?  The carousel is colorful and charming, the lion is regal, and it looks like some homemade ice cream might be on offer.

And look!  Here is one of the animal wagons, skillfully driven by a clever fellow without the use of reins!

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Although–Watch out, Sigyn!  It looks as if someone forgot to latch the bear’s cage!

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Run, Sigyn, run!!!

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I Spent My Anniversary Playing With Toys, Part II: Ferrous Oddities

There are other cast iron novelties here besides wheeled vehicles.

There are some very fine watercraft. 

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Sigyn, shall I liberate the red and green speedboats so we can have a race in Rudder Fountian outside?

Ah.  My beloved has found some toys that are not vehicles at all, and the exhibit has become quite surreal.

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The frog is amusing, but do not get too close to that fellow in the chair!  He appears to have leprosy.

I am glad these items are all behind glass–

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Because I do NOT like the look in that duck’s beady little eye!  Beware, you waddling villain…  One false move toward my beloved and this display will include a ramekin of cast iron confit de canard colvert.

Great Frigga’s corset!

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If the duck is malign, this pineapple is downright diabolical!  Anyone for some piña malevoladas?

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I Spent My Anniversary Playing With Toys, Part I: A History of Vroom

Sigyn and I just celebrated our fifth maybe-wedding anniversary.  It’s hard to believe it’s  been five years already.  I remember all of the danger and confusion of our maybe wedding as if it were yesterday!

Sigyn and I have decided to celebrate in our usual manner–we are going to a museum to look at things.  Usually, it’s glass because that is Sigyn’s favorite, but Sigyn has found an exhibit she thinks I will like, and making me happy makes her happy, so we are off to look at…something.

She’s not telling.

(later) Well, would you look at that!  Cases and cases of little metal vehicles!   I do believe that all of Midgard’s transportation history is laid out here.  All much more primitive than Midgardian science, of course, but the mortals have managed a little progress since they came down out of the trees a bit and a half ago.

After walking, horse-drawn conveyances came first.

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Sigyn says she would like to have a horse and carriage.  Where would you keep it my love?  And who would clean up after the horses?  I love you, but I do have my limits!

Besides, after riding Sleipnir, boring old four-legged horses just seem so awkward and slow.

As I understand it, steam locomotives were next.

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Suprise! Sigyn likes the red car.

Automobiles were next after that.  Look!  There’s one for each of us!

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Sigyn, don’t forget to take a scarf when you go riding in yours.  Convertible-hair is awful.

Sigyn?  Sigyn!  Where are you?  I seem to have lost my spouse!

Oh, there she is.

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Not content with roadsters, she’s dreaming of scooting nimbly ’round a race track instead.  Or at least, I think that’s what the little vroomy noises she’s making mean.

Ah.  Here are some fine mass-transit conveyances.  

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I could load up fifteen or twenty of my closest friends and go for a picnic!

Who am I kidding?  There aren’t fifteen people I like on this godforsaken rock. Sigyn and the human female’s mother, and that’s about it.  More room for picnic!

And finally, mankind conquered the skies.  Only about six thousand years after Midgard’s inhabitants took to the air, but what can you expect?

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Puny brains and lifespans like a mayfly’s.  No wonder that they are so technologically impaired.  They’ve only just stopped walking on their knuckles and eating each other’s fleas.

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