Random Mischief

Mind-boggling Berry

Great Frigga’s hairpins!  Will you look at the size of this thing!

giantberry

Sigyn, it makes about seven of you!

It’s cherry season, but we haven’t found any twin cherries yet ripe for the pulling, so we’ll have to amuse ourselves with this gargantuan beauty.

Two more like this and we’ll have enough for pie!

>|: [

A Bit of Housekeeping

I’ve attracted a few new followers minions recently, so here are a few tips for making the most of your opportunity to bask in my radiance and be in on the ground floor of my campaign to dominate this realm.

–The blog looks best on your computer.  If you’re reading on a phone, you’ll miss the tags, which is often where my snark really shines.

–The tags will help you find posts that are similar.  You might do a search for “floral millinery”, for example.

–Enjoy the archive.  To read about how Sigyn and I met, go back to February of 2014 and read forward.

Welcome!  It’s six kinds of chaos all up in here.

>|: [

Sometimes We Just Find Weird Stuff

In our walkies and pokings-about in the neighborhood, sometimes Sigyn and I find…odd things.  I’ve shared written about a few of them here before, and today I have another batch.

Shiny streamers.

mylar

Every time we go by the park, there are shiny streamers in the grass.  Sometimes silver, sometimes colored.  This batch is a sort of sheer blueyrainbowy mylar.  Sigyn is delighted.

Once we found some red ones and she couldn’t stop squeaking for a solid quarter hour.

Oriental Treasures.

The other day she found a Sigyn-sized parasol.

parasol

It is a little broken, but she loves it anyway.

Fierce Adversaries.

Often, if we walk early enough, we find these slimy, legless creatures wriggling down the sidewalk.  Scouts, no doubt, of an invading army.

pokeaworm

Tremble before Loki, you foul annelid!  This neighborhood is under my protection!  Return to whence thou came!  Begone!

(The braver I am, the more hugs I get from Sigyn later.  Not a bad way to start the day.)

>|: [

Outrage!

Several years ago, not long after my advent in this realm, I got into the human female’s phone and changed her lock screen to a photo of myself.  I wanted her to be reminded, multiple times per day, of just who is running things around here.  I wanted a not-so-subtle-reminder:  Loki is watching you…

Imagine my shock, then, to find that the upstart besom had figured out how to get into the phone and change the photo!  The audacity!

She didn’t replace it with a more recent photo of me, either!  That would have been acceptable.  If she had changed it to one of Sigyn (whom the camera adores and who has never taken a bad photo in her life), I’d have been perfectly content.  I mean, who wouldn’t want to see Sigyn’s smile every time they look at their phone?

But no!  I’ve been replaced by… by… This:

new lockscreen

Something from that show she’s been watching!  Who even ARE these goobers?

Sigyn!  Stop!  No!  Stop smiling!

I won’t stand for this.  Nope.  No way…

>|: [

Botany Lessons Before Breakfast

After a string of miserably warm and humid mornings on which NO ONE, myself least of all, wanted to get up and go for a walk that would have left the humans sweating* before we reached the end of the front walk, we have been graced by a slightly cooler dawn, so we are seizing the opportunity to get a little exercise.

We are making a short detour from the mile loop the humans call “The Long Block” and are exploring a little side street where the houses are still under construction.  Be careful, Sigyn!  There could be nails and bits of glass and broken masonry!

new lot

Odin’s eyepatch!  The side-yard-to-be is a veritable jungle of foliage and bloomery!

Most noticeable is something the human female says is called Johnsongrass.  It’s good for a dangle.

johnsongrass

See if you can shake some of that grass pollen over the human female.  She’s allergic and it’s fun to watch her eyes swell up.

There are sunflowers, though not so many nor so tall as the ones at the house.

sunflower

(The ones at the house are particularly hulking this year, and I took great pains to make sure they came up so close to the driveway that the human female has to choose between thrashing her way through them and becoming covered in pollen and chaffy bits or climbing in through the passenger side.   It never gets old.)

The black-eyed Susans are similar, but much more nearly Sigyn-sized.

rudbeckia2

Hmm.  Red, yellow, brown… Look, my love, they’re Sigyn-colored too!

As you might expect in a weedy patch, there are thistles.

thistle

Sigyn says the flower heads remind her of fireworks.  I suppose I can see that.

Let’s see what else is here.  False dandelion..

pyrrhopappus

More yellow.  This one’s partridge pea.

partridgepea

The human female says it used to bloom in late summer and early fall, but now it blooms beginning in June.  I am so weary of her whining about climate change.  Would you like me to call down Fimbulwinter, mortal?  Is that what you want?  Keep complaining and I just might.

Ehehehe!  Sigyn has discovered that partridge peas are a little too bendy to be good for dangles.

partridgepea2

But if I do a little spell that will hold the stem, they do just fine.

partridgepea3

Ah. Evening primroses.  Like the kind that were in the lawn at home.

oenothera

Sigyn and the human female are very excited.  Apparently there are some more unusual plants here too.

Yellow puff is a funny bean with poofy yellow flower clusters and leaves that close up if you touch them.

neptunia

Look, Sigyn, there it goes!  Do another one!  Do another one!

These white flowers belong to a sweet clover that should have finished flowering months ago.

melilotus

That’s Texas vervain (lavender) down below.

The little dark fruits don’t look like legumes, but technically, they are.

melilotus dangle

The human female has identified this scruffy, not-very-showy plant as goosefoot.

goosefoot

If I ever had a good with feet shaped like those leaves, I would take him to a veterinary podiatrist.

The plants are getting smaller and smaller.  This is my beloved in a patch of new western ragweed plants.

cyclospermum

And the little thread-leaved thing on the left enjoys the completely ridiculous moniker of slim-lobe celery.

This one little lot is quite the botanical bonanza.  I’m sure whatever the builder and eventual tenants plant won’t be half as interesting.

>|: [

*I don’t sweat.  Frost Giants just don’t, but heat does tend to make us testy.  Sigyn definitely doesn’t sweat.  Her hair may get just the teensiest bit frizzy in hot, humid weather, but otherwise she remains gorgeous and cheerful.  Seriously.  She is perfect.

Mask-making 2.0, Part II: Si vos es facile offenditur, nunc averte oculos tuos

Once, many years ago, the human female sewed a Very Special Dress for her sister.  It was made of several coordinating fabrics, all with a “very cute” Noah’s Ark theme. I’m told it was cute, anyway.  I wasn’t here then, so I can’t vouch for it one way or the other.  Personally, I think it sounds hideous.

Sigyn would probably like something like that, though.

At any rate, the human female has had the leftovers from that twee little project hanging around for decades now.   She rummaged them  up and decided to make herself a mask out of them, using the new pattern.  (But in a smaller size.)

I tried to get her to trace around the wrong pattern again, but she used the right piece of paper.  However, I’m a genius, so I was easily able to think of a different way to turn this little project into a WOMBAT (Waste Of Money, Brains, and Time).

All I had to do was nudge one of the outside pieces over just a smidge before she traced and cut.

Behold the results.

ohnomask

Once you see what the zebras are up to, you cannot unsee it.

Ehehehehehe!  Ooopsie!

>|: [

In Which Loki Looks at Toadstools Because He’s a Fun Guy

Listen!  Do you hear that?

<poink!>

That is the sound of various Basidiomycetious interlopers appearing everywhere, thanks to some recent rains.  Some people, like the human female, think fungi are interesting because of their weird approaches to reproduction.  Others, like the human male, think they’re “icky” and refuse to have anything to do with them.  Sigyn thinks they’re “cute” and wants to hug them.

Me?  I think these chitinous abominations that are absolutely everywhere–on dead things, in the soil, in the water, in the ocean, in the atmosphere–and which are more closely related to animals than plants!—are secretly running the world.  I shall probably have to forge some sort of alliance with them if I want to truly take over Midgard.  In the meantime, I they and I have a sort of grudging detente.

In the interest of knowing the competition, Sigyn and I are out meeting some of the local excrescences.

She is squeakily enthusing about these tiny parasols.

mushrooms1

This one is all shaggy.  The texture really is very interesting.  If you poke them, they feel… meaty.

mushrooms2

Sigyn, look at mine!  It’s all smooooth, and much tidier than yours.

mushrooms3

Sigyn has found some smooth babies.

mushrooms4

mushrooms5

Told you she wants to hug them.

Great Frigga’s hairpins!  Look at this one!  It looks like a concha sweet roll…

mushrooms8

…and the stalk is so thick that the two of us can’t reach around it.

All of this poking about in leaf litter and whatnot is hard work.  Time for a rest.  Fortunately, there is a convenient, spongy myco-mattress handy.

mushrooms6

It’s comfy enough, but the surface is curved and I keep sliding off.

This one is flatter and much more commodious.

mushrooms9

Any conversation about fungi eventually turns to which species are edible and how best to recognize and prepare the tasty ones.  It’s a topic well worth paying attention to, as guessing wrong can have fatal consequences.  One would not, for example, wish to consume an Amanita by mistake.   You feel fine, you feel sick, you feel better, then you die.

I will admit that I am no mycologist, but I do know one hard and fast rule for distinguishing the toxic species from the comestible ones.  Some will tell you to go by color, or to look for a veil, or to check the color of the spores, but I can assure you that individuals which cluster together in ferro-metallic structures such as this are usually safe to eat.

mushrooms7

You’re welcome.

>|: [

When Out On the Roof There Arose Such a Clatter

BOOM!

It is very dark and VERY stormy out today.  Flannel Cat has retreated behind/under the sofa.  The trees outside are being whipped into a frenzy and outside the window, it is all one green-gray blur.

It is raining sideways.

Having grown up with the God of Thunder, violent storms like this don’t frighten me in the slightest, and Sigyn is pretty brave (unless the thunder is right overhead, in which case, tight hugs have to happen).  So we are all pretty cozy inside, and we are content to let the outside rage as much as it wants.

Spat! Clatter! Rattle! Ping! Boink! Whack! Pop! Ping!

Well, that’s a different noise.  Is that what I think it is?  You stay here, Sigyn, I’ll go look.

hail

Yes.  Just as I suspected.  Look, Sigyn!  Frozen peas!

Sadly, not big enough to give the human female’s car a permanent case of the dimples, but entertaining nonetheless.

>|: [

The Sidewalk Sentiment Is Getting Out of Hand

While recent rains have washed some of the earlier chalk-work off the sidewalks, new “art” seems to appear overnight afterwards, like toadstools.

Sigyn thinks it’s “sweet”.  I think my glurge-o-meter is pegging over in the red zone.

I suppose this one is not so bad:

smile

Ugh. The dot on the “i” is a widdle heart.

Sigyn says we should stand in this one to appreciate it.

sidewalk-chalk5

Looks like a sun, maybe?

Oh.

sidewalk-chalk6

That is just great.  Now I will have that song stuck in my head for days.

Nope, Sigyn. Not standing with you.  Too pink. Too mushy.

sigynheart

Way too mushy.  And definitely not my “vibe.”

give joy

Though I will admit that you bring me joy every day.

Oh, now we’re getting instructions!

sidewalk-chalk9

Back up a smidge.

sidewalk-chalk10

Sigyn, my dearest, my little black heart is all yours.

>|: ]