Random Mischief

Keep Eating Like That and The Bao Is Not The Only Thing That Is Going To Be Fat

A trip to the Big City to the South means the chance to eat cuisine not available in the hometown.  The humans have a few places they like to go.  Today, we are back at the place that serves the folded pillowy bread things.

Sigyn is quite fond of the Spring Chicken Bao if the very hot stuff is left off.

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I, on the other hand, have my eye on that mountain of fries smothered in bulgogi.

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Nom nom nom.  Come to Loki!

Great Frigga’s Corset!  Sigyn has caught her sleeve on something and torn off a portion!

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Are you all right, my love?  You are not injured?  Clothes may be replaced, but your welfare is of the utmost importance!

I am much relived to see that my Sigyn is unscathed.  This neighborhood is rife with boutiques.  Come, perhaps we will find something in one of them that you like.

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Sigyn and the Tiny Shinies

Our second stop in the Big City to the South is Spice Shop Number Two.  We have managed to secure a parking spot right in front of the establishment!

Which appears to have been de-establishedSo sorry, human male!  Looks like you will have to order your urfa chilies online from now on.  You will have to console yourself with a trip to the Purveyor of Pens, which is fortuitously just in the next block.

Sigyn and the human female are taking this opportunity to have a good snoop in the bead shop which is next door to the defunct spicery.

Now, keep in mind the human female does not need any more beads.  She has bags and boxes and jars and strings and hanks of beads.  She and Sigyn must be part magpie, though, because it has taken them approximately ten seconds to dive into the broken- strand bin and start swimming.

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Literally.

Though I saw to it that they did not emerge with the bronze-colored jump rings the human female initially entered the store for, they have emerged with quite a haul.  There are three strands of faceted beads with the matching larger beads that they had to sift the loose beads for.

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I heard the human female counting to fifty and muttering something about “decades”.  I can only assume that that is how long it’s going to take her to actually finish the project.

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Souvenir d’un Déjeuner Passé, Deuxième Partie: Les Entrées et Les Desserts

By my fine pointy helmet, it was hard to choose what to eat!  In the end, most of the party agreed to order different things and then perhaps “swap tastes.”  I, of course, wouldn’t dream of sharing with anyone but Sigyn.

The Blue-haired Goddaughter opted for a salmon sandwich.

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I was really, REALLY hoping the human female would ask for a nice big taste.  One of these days I’m going to see her break out in that famous pebbly rash she’s always talking about…

Another of the party chose quiche and a cup of fruit.

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Now see, this seems all backwards to me.  Pie should have fruit in it (but NOT cantaloupe–bleargh!), not on the side, and eggs are not pie material.

The human female, out of all that marvelous menu, chose something she actually makes very well herself—French onion soup.  Great Frigga’s hairpins!  Doesn’t she know that dining out is for trying something different?!

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The salad–excuse me, salade— had spinach, prosciutto, cranberries, asiago cheese, pear, and caramelized pecans, so that, at least, was a little adventurous.

We all saved room for dessert.  The Blue-haired Goddaughter made sure she saved some room for strawberries Romanoff crêpes.

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I was going to ask to try them, but le sucre en poudre est une bête à enlever de mon manteau.

Sigyn and the human female, between them, managed to consume this entire almond croissant…

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And still have room to eat one or two of the beignets that someone else couldn’t finish.

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Madame la femme humaine, vraiment vous êtes un petite cochon.

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Souvenir d’un Déjeuner Passé, Première Partie: Les Préliminaires

When I become sole ruler of this realm, it will be important to have documentation* of all my mighty exploits, which are, you must admit, the stuff of legend and worthy of many a ballad or saga.  So today I was looking through the photographic evidence of my mischief, making sure all was in order, and I came across a set of images from a culinary adventure which happened a few months ago and which I have heretofore not chronicled.  It’s not that I forgot about it–it’s simply that I’ve had so much other mischief to write about!  But since I know that my devoted readers will want all of the details, so allow me to recount…

This all occurred on the humans’ most recent visit to the Blue-haired Goddaughter and her family–as well as a number of friends–in the Big City to the North.  While the males of the house party amused themselves with board games, the females decided to venture forth in search of retail adventures. Sigyn, I could tell, was quite keen to accompany them, and I went along as her companion and bodyguard.  (Leave my beloved unprotected in a strange city?  Not on my life!)

The outing included a genteel repast at a charming little bistro.  It had an English name, but it was rather Frenchified on the inside.  Sigyn and I found the menu to be quite intriguing.  There were so many wonderful dishes from which to choose.

Sigyn thought about ordering the Goat Cheese and Arugula Salad.

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I was in the mood for something more substantial.

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I couldn’t believe, with chicken and waffles and calimari on the menu, that Sigyn would even contemplate a fungus burger.

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Planning the meal around the dessert, however, was entirely in character for both of us.

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It was a chilly day, so Sigyn thought tea might be nice.  She’s a big fan of Earl Gray.  The very aroma of it makes her drool.

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But I thought this one would suit me better.

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So what did everyone finally order?  Je te le dirai demain…

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*pics or it didn’t happen

A Late Spring/Early Summer Jaunt

The humans are traveling to see the male’s family in the tiny city rather far to the west.  Sigyn and I have tagged along.  Sigyn, because she likes long car rides and seeing new things; I, because new surroundings can equal new opportunities for mischief.

The roadsides have shifted from spring’s blue, pink, and white to that obnoxious orange-yellow shade that denotes late-spring/early summer in Texas.

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That photo doesn’t do it justice.  For miles and miles and miles, it’s as if someone melted all the school buses, number 2 pencils, and Kodak film boxes in the world and poured the resulting mess onto the roadsides.  Sigyn thinks it’s pretty.  I think that color adds about 3 degrees to the perceived ambient air temperature, which, believe me, is far too warm for comfort already.

The home we are visiting is a smallish one, so we are lodging in an in.  I have finally broken Sigyn of wanting to eat sink cakes, but she still enjoys a good game of hide and seek in new environment.

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Great Frigga’s hairpins!  Sigyn has vanished completely!  She is entirely invisible!  I will have to search long and hard if I am to discover her clever hiding place!

(the next morning)

True to form, the human female has headed straight for the funny-shaped breakfast maker on the buffet line.  This time her efforts have yielded a hazard map of the state.

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Northern Panhandle:  tornadoes.  Far west Trans-Pecos:  dust storms.  Lower Rio Grande  Valley:  hurricanes.  Southeast Texas:  alligators.  There is nothing for it but to apply butter and syrup and put the state out of its misery.

Sigyn, uncharacteristically, has opted for a slightly less sticky breakfast.  Is there anything more boring than raisin bran?

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Besides the human female, I mean.

Off to visit with the folks!  This is the part of the visit I’ve been looking forward to.   I understand there are baby photos of the male, which ought to be good for a laugh, his mother has some tech-support issues with her computer, and I’ve arranged for some chiggers to meet up with the female as she answers some garden questions for the mother-in-law.   See?  New opportunities for mischief!

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More Adventures in the Room of Skulls

I was able to rescue Sigyn from the clutches of that murderous deer.  Horrible creatures, deer, really.  I prefer to think of them as merely the larval stage of roast venison.

There are more skulls here, and they are drawing a lot of attention.  The human female and her minions are showing them off to anyone who wanders by.

Sigyn is investigating the pronounced sagittal crest on this opossum.

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The human female says that is where all the jaw muscles are attached.  It certainly looks capable of eating anything it finds.  Opossums are strange creatures–tails like rats, huge rafs of babies which they tote about in pouches or on their backs, fur that always looks like they’ve been washed in the washer on the wrong cycle, and a predilection for rummaging about in compost heaps.

I am more impressed by the dentition of this male vervet monkey.

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This fellow looks quite up to the task of perforating anyone who tried to put him in a funny outfit or make him do silly tricks.  And the overall effect is of a toothy little human.

Great Frigga’s hairpins!  Look who has turned up!  Marty, that goggle-eyed menace, has dropped by to ogle the chicken skull.

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I don’t want to think about what Marty’s skull might look like.  Not much room for a brain, that’s for certain.

Oh, and here is Fisi, trying to sneak in a nibble on the oppossum.

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Shoo!  Bad hyena!  No biscuit!

Sweet Tony Stark on the half shell!  What sort of alien mutant nightmare beast does this one come from?!

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Don’t get too close, Sigyn.  I don’t trust this thing at all.

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poke, poke, poke.

No sirree. I do not trust this thing at all, at all.  Nor can I figure out its modus operandi.  No proper teeth to speak of, but what about these long pincer-like things up front?  What IS it?  Where does it live?  What does it eat?  What does the rest of it look like??

Oh, I am going to have bad dreams and flashbacks about this one, I can tell you.

(Reads label.)  Huh.  I never, ever would have guessed.  Log your guesses in the comments, folks, and we’ll see if anyone comes close.

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It is Nine Kinds of Macabre in Here

The human female and her minions managed to make it through the first semester of new labs for Biology 111.  Now they’re facing all new exercises for Biology 112.  This course deals with evolution, phylogeny, and the many and varied organisms that inhabit this realm.  The instructor, with an eye to relating one notion to another, has planned an exercise in which the students will examine various vertebrate skulls and use their features, coupled with gene sequences, to come up with a vertebrate family tree.  It sounds both cutting-edge and ghoulish, and I must admit to being intrigued.

Sigyn, the human female says the skulls have arrived and are in room 313.  Let us see what has come!

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That is a veritable plethroa of crania!  And they’re from some outfit called “Skulls Unlimited.” Snort.  Of course they are.  I shall call them the Purveyor of Head Bones.

Some of the skulls are quite tiny.  This one is from something called a shrew.

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Sigyn is surprised at how tiny it is.  But as you should know, my diminutive princess, size is no indicator of fierceness.  A look at the teeth will reveal just what voracious predators shrews are.

The rat skull, on the other hand, just has long, orange incisors.

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And, according to Sigyn, “the cutest little molars ever!”

While the turtle has no teeth at all,

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though its bony jaw is quite capable of snapping up its prey.

Still, it is not always the carnivores that one needs to watch out for–

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Turn my sweetie loose this instant, you perfidious cervid!  Hang on, dearest, Loki’s coming!

Apparently white-tailed deer are not above a little snacking when the morsel is especially tasty.

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