Quiz Time! Frost Giant or Feline? Super Extra Bonus Question

This morning, the humans were greeted by a very curious sight.   It would appear that the felines’ little red lobster has learned some acrobatics.


That is a most accomplished crustacean!  It has skipped right over downward dog,  child’s pose, and even tree pose and gone straight to Salamba Sirasana. Although one can’t help but wonder if such a pose is consistent with the continued health and optimal functioning of the creature’s eyeballs.

Now, I’m sure that this creature, not having a great deal of room in its cephalothorax for a brain, did not come up with this stunt all on its own.  It obviously had help.  Given my delight in leaving little surprises for the humans and the felines’ ability to do strange things with their toys:  FROST GIANT or FELINES?

Actually, this is another trick question, because it seems we have actual photographic evidence of the deed in progress.


Why Sigyn, you little scamp!

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Quiz Time! Frost Giant or Feline? BONUS question!

Observe, if you will, this piece of paper take-out napkin upon the living room floor.


It lies next to an equally shredded piece of ribbon or strapping or fabric or shoelace or… something.   I don’t know what it is.  The humans have a lot of junk.

Now, given that I think it’s funny to leave bits of cruft and recyclables out for the humans to have to bend over and pick up, and that the Terror Twins have a penchant for leaving their playthings strewn about —and paper is most definitely a plaything — tell me:  FROST GIANT or FELINE?

Ehehehehehehe!  Actually, this is a TRICK QUESTION because who am I kidding?

I have recruited these two and they work for me now.


The humans’ new excuse for the state of the house is, “Sorry.  We were the victims of a Cat Two hurricane.”

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Quiz Time! Frost Giant or Feline? (Part II)

Our quiz continues today, with more evidence of foul play in the humans’ household.  For each question, your job is to decide —FROST GIANT or FELINES?  Keep in mind that all the suspects are sly, nimble, and hell-bent on mischief.

Question 5:  A Place for Everything and Everything All Over the Place


Sharpie permanent markers are infinitely useful.  Having a few handy in several spots is just good home management.  However, under the cat tree is not their usual habitat.  Given that I like to see the human female frustrated when it comes time to label containers of leftovers or address packages and that anything not nailed down is a cat toy — FROST GIANT or FELINES?   

Question 6:  Very Probably Not Long for This World


The human female is quite fond of African violets.  She has some that have passed their quarter-century mark!  This one is not doing very well.  it seems that its decorative cache pot had no drainage holes and the poor thing was standing in water for quite some time.  Since the symptoms of overwatering are much like those of underwatering, the human female kept giving it “drinkies.”  The horrid pot is gone now, but this little fellow also looks a little sat-upon and may never recover.  Given that I have helped with home horticulture before and that kitties are fond of sunny windowsills — FROST GIANT or FELINES?

Question 7:  A Protective Covering Doing Its Job


The humans have so many books that some of them are in piles on the floor or leaning up against pieces of furniture.  This splendid two-volume set about the glories of Venice came in a decorative slipcase.  As we all know, the purpose of a slipcase is to protect the tomes within, and this one looks to be adhering to those parameters.  Given my distaste for Byzantine architecture and the Taffy’s predilection for sharpening her talons on any available surface — FROST GIANT or FELINES?

So– How did you do?  Did you determine how to apportion blame in this household?  Who deserves the longer time out, me or the furry felons?   Is there any chance the human female will survive all this mayhem with her sanity intact?

(More to the point, why do the humans have a single-volume version of that Venice book if they also have the two-volume??  That’s just nuts.)

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Quiz Time! Frost Giant or Feline? (Part I)

It’s that time of year.  The semester is winding down, and the students are taking some of their final exams.  In that spirit, I have come up with a little quiz for my readers and fans.

There has been a LOT of mischief in the humans’ house lately.  I’m going to tell you about some of the goings-on, and for each calamity, you need to say whether the culprit was the resident FROST GIANT or the FELINES.  Keep in mind that all three of us are agile, cunning, and highly motivated. 

Question 1:  Who Discombobulated the Doohickey?


The humans are messy.  They’re always wiping up one spill or another and go through vast quantities of paper towels.  For convenience, the towels are kept on a springy rack, much like a giant toilet paper holder, mounted under one of the kitchen cabinets.  The springy bit I’m standing on has ceased to be springy, meaning that the towels won’t stay on and keep falling into the dish-rack.  The humans are going to have to unscrew the whole contraption and purchase another.  Given that  I like to annoy and the felines have been known to jump up on the counters — FROST GIANT or FELINES?

Question 2:  No Dinner For You!


The humans have been invited to several weddings.  The invitations somehow became BURIED in the piles of paper upon the dining table.  They recently resurfaced but, as you can see, the window for responding has long passed.  Given that it would tickle me to see the humans done out of a meal and the cats have been known to park their furry behinds on the dining table — FROST GIANT or FELINES?

Question 3:  Something Nasty is Missing


The human female clenches her teeth in her sleep–I’m sure I don’t know why.  What has she to be stressed about?  (Ehehehehehe!)  Recently, her mouth-guard has gone missing from its case.  It’s very possible she forgot to put it in there one morning.  Given that I think a monstrous dental bill for cracked teeth would be funny and that household pets for some reason love the taste of dental appliances — FROST GIANT or FELINES?

Question 4:  Lost and Found


The human female likes to do fancy needlework.  She has several pair of small, sharp scissors for such tasks.  She likes to keep them stuck to her big task lamp with a strong magnet.  Over a month ago, this little black pair disappeared.  They resurfaced today, in the bowels of the sofa, where the human female was hunting for her mouth guard (and where she had already looked.)  The scissors appear to be fine, but where is the large, oblong, hand-crafted ceramic bead that used to be on the fob?  There’s no trace of that.  Given that I’ve been known to hide her scissors before and that Flannel Cat was observed swatting at the fob on more than one occasion — FROST GIANT or FELINES?

To be continued…

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All Part of My Master Plan…

I do not care for Midgardian sports much.  Football least of all.   All that striving and contending and scrambling about and tackling and hitting and bloodshed —and nothing is actually won!  No lands change hands, no rulers are overthrown, and all the combatants just get up and walk away.  No one passes to Valhalla.  It’s pointless.

However, recent events have convinced me that perhaps I should pay a little more attention.  This.  This happened.

Odin’s Eyepatch!  That is a magnificent and tempting sum!  I think I now know how to significantly advance my plans for world domination, beginning with this University.

  1. Obtain the position of next Head Coach of the University’s football team
  2. Encourage my warriors to fight fiercely and triumph for about three years
  3. Let the reins slip a bit so that the win/loss ratio tumbles
  4. Insist that the team change its uniform colors from maroon and white to green and gold
  5. Channel the outrage at the University (and the Smaller University Up the River, whose colors are green and gold) into getting myself fired
  6. Collect a handsome remuneration for being shown the door

I’ve been over this plan a dozen times and can’t find a flaw.

I’m going to need bigger coffers.

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What’s Behind Door Number 302? Part IV: ‘Cause This is Chiller

There is more than gloves, Squiggly/Leggedy Things, and Planty Things in this room.  This is also where the human female and her staff keep the ultra cold freezer and the special refrigerator that can hold flammable things.  That last appliance doesn’t make any sense.  If something is on fire, it’s not exactly cold.

Let’s see what we have.

This is the inside of the ultra cold.  It runs at about negative 50 centipede.


I know what you’re thinking, that I used the wrong word.  I, Loki, the Silvertongued, do not make errors of vocabulary or elocution.  This is where the human female’s staff puts the naughty, vicious centipedes after they are done observing them.  You thought I was joking about Centipede Valhalla, didn’t you?  By now they have probably run more than fifty centipedes through this thing.

The colorful blocky things are for holding test tubes of DNA and whatnot.  Congratulations, human female!  Now all your equipment has been contaminated with Jotun DNA.  Your next PCR experiment should be very interesting.

Oh, Sigyn!  You are shivering!  Let us move to the flammable fridge.  It’s bound to be warmer in there, one way or the other.

Some of these containers look very old.  Look at the dates!  They haven’t been used in years.  (I don’t think they clean out this fridge very often…)


Hmm.  Two jars of lanolin.  Greasy sheep paste!  You could have yourself some very soft skin, Sigyn.  But if I’m reading the labels correctly, the humans use this stuff as a carrier for plant growth regulators.  What do you think, my sunflower?  Shall we open the tiny container of indole-3- acetic acid, an auxin which promotes shoot growth, mix up a little batch, and see if we can make you taller?


Just kidding!  You are perfect the way you are.

Sigyn is interested in these jars of green liquid.  “Chlorophyll extract.”  <sniff, sniff>  Whew!  Essence of spinach, with hints if diethyl ether, petroleum ether, and acetone.  Whiffy stuff!


Yes, my love, chlorophyll is supposed to be healthy for you.  No, I do not think you should drink this.  I do not think the acetone would do you any good.

If you are still craving something green when this adventure is over, we can go and have a nice salad somewhere.

In the far corner of the room is the ice maker.  Sometimes, when the human female has been particularly vexing, I come in here to think and cool off.

There’s a big sign saying that the ice isn’t for human consumption,


but I’ve been known to nibble…

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What’s Behind Door Number 302? Part III: A Fern or Something

Room 302 houses not only Squiggly Things and gloves, it’s also home to a host of Leafy Bits.  This is much more Sigyn’s thing and the human female’s.  Flowers are somewhat interesting, but no flowers here.  All this all-green stuff looks alike to me.


Nephrolepis?  Pteridium?  Adiantum?  Who knows?  Who cares!

This one’s a little more interesting.  It has very strangely-shaped leaves.


Baldur’s biscuits!  The human female says it eats insects.   Apparently it flaps those eyelashy leaf ends and just snaps them right up!  Now, that’s my kind of vegetation!   Sigyn, do you suppose it eats crickets?  Could we try?  No?  Awww.

Ehehehehe!  Now this is actually my doing.  This tank is supposed to contain Nitella, which the human female uses as the example of “an advanced green alga, a member of the group supposedly the closest kin to land plants.”  She obtains this pondweed from the Alternative Purveyor of Squiggly things (the POST does not stock it).


There is generally some left over at the end of each semester, so she or her staff just dump it right in this tank.  If it survives, they don’t buy new the next semester, just use what’s here.  Thrifty, I suppose.

Except that, as one of the more astute Lab Instructors observed this semester when he put a bit of this under the microscope and up on the television for his class to observe, this isn’t actually Nitella.   Ehehehehe!  I was wondering when someone would notice.

You see, some time ago, I swapped out the Nitella for some other aquatic festoonage.  I don’t even remember what.  The human female has had it under a microscope, but she just scratches her scrofulous head and shrugs.  Near as she can figure, it’s some sort of aquatic moss.   It raises all sorts of questions.  Such as:

What is this stuff?

How long has it been here?


How come no one mentioned til now that it absolutely does not resemble Nitella in the slightest?

Instant gratification is a lovely thing, but sometimes the best bits of mischief are those which have to     ripen     slowly…

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