and i thought digging in the human female's backpack turned up weird stuff

A Different Sort of Treasure Hunt

Someone asked me if the humans did an Egg Hunt this year. The answer is no, they didn’t. The human female was too bone-idle to dye more than two eggs, and the male still hasn’t found the one remaining egg from last year. The female has been saying something about finding a mystery or something, though, so perhaps they have some belated festivities planned. Sigyn, let’s go see what’s going on.

I’m especially curious because the human female says that, whatever it is, it can’t come in the house. (Sigyn is hoping for a batch of live bunnies.)

So here we all are, on the untidy back patio, looking at…

A backpack. What the…? Sweet Sif on a cracker! How is that festively seasonal?! The female is up to something but I can’t figure out what.

It is a very large backpack, with actual arrows sticking out of it. The human female says she found it in the backyard, presumably thrown over the fence from the alley behind. She often finds balls and frisbees, courtesy of the children who live on the other side of the alley, but this is too big to have sailed over the fence accidentally.

Where did it come from? How long has it been there? The human female mowed the yard for the last time last October, so sometime between then and today? It was in the little thickety bit, in a drift of fallen leaves, and it’s camouflaged, so no telling, really. The temptation to see what is in there is completely irresistible.

First out, a hip flask. Someone evidently likes a tipple.

(shake, shake, shake) Sadly, empty, and the label has mouldered away. Still, alcohol and arrows– seems promising!

Uh, oh! Ammo! And matches!

Also empty. Just soggy cardboard.

Fandral’s mustache! What is this thing?

Even once you realize the USB cord isn’t part of it, it’s still baffling. The accordion bit pleats and unpleats, and it comes apart, and it looks as if one could blow into it. Oh. The human male says it says, “grunter” on it. Sigyn, I think this is something you could use to call deer. I think we’ve found a hunting backpack! But what was it doing in the back yard?

Another soggy ammo box.

Great Frigga’s Corset!

This one is not empty! That is a lot of .22 bullets! Sigyn, you’d better step away. I’m no expert (I prefer knives), so I’ve no idea if being wet has made these unstable.

Speaking of preferring knives.

This is a nice, big one. The snap’s rusted shut, though, so it will take some effort to get it open. I can look at it later. Let’s keep going.

Another knife!

And another!

The male says there’s a fourth one, in one of the side pockets. This just keeps getting better and better!


Cell phone. Suddenly this is less fun. Help me think this through, Sigyn. Obviously this backpack is too big and too heavy to have ended up in the back yard by accident. Either someone threw his buddy’s backpack over the fence as a joke, in which case why wouldn’t you knock on the door and ask to be able to retrieve it (or at least the phone!), or someone ditched it over the fence in an attempt to get rid of it. Maybe even getting rid of evidence.

I’m as curious as the humans are, but they have decided that it is prudent at this point to stop digging in the backpack and contact the local constabulary, and I support this decision. They’ve handled most of the contents by now, but their prints are on file because of volunteer work, so if this is mysterious backpack is tied to some crime or other, the police should be able to rule them out. I wonder what the police will find if they charge up the phone and take a look?

The human female has called the police, and they have come to pick it all up. After a very cursory look through the backyard, they have left with the backpack, seemingly not terribly interested.

They may be nonplussed, but Sigyn is understandably rattled. Come, dearest. I think you need a cup of hot tea and a good cuddle.

I wonder if we will ever have any answers?

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