Sigyn says one of her favorite parts of going on vacation is getting to know new people. I can’t say the same. I barely tolerate the mortals I already know. Meeting more of them sounds like as much fun as having my hair braided by my oafish brother Thor. (When he was about seven, he went through a Pretty Princess phase neither of us really likes to talk about.)
Sigh. For Sigyn’s sake I will paste on my best fake smile and greet the local populace.
I was under the impression that spotted owls were small birds. Clearly I have been misinformed.
All the local wildlife is a bit on the large side.
It wasn’t on my list of things to do today, but I guess we can help these fellows make snowmen. Let’s make it interesting. Sigyn, you help Nutkin over there with his, and I will help Earl with his, and we’ll see whose comes out best.
(later) Well, that was entertaining. Not. Those two long-tailed tree rats proved to have zero brain cells apiece and failed utterly to grasp the notion of piling one snowball atop the other. We ended up with two identical balls of snow. Nutkin’s had a few fewer embedded pine needles, so he was unanimously declared the winner. That is forty-five minutes of my life I will never get back…
This polar bear seems to have more going on upstairs.
She is smart enough to know that if she makes the slightest menacing gesture toward my sweetie or puts so much as one whisker out of place, Ursus maritimus is going to be one individual closer to extinction.
All of this hiking and schmoozing has given me an appetite. Sigyn, why don’t you go ask that jolly-looking hedgehog where we can get a good lunch?
“She says we should eat at her cafe, Tiggywinkle’s. It’s just over the next hill and specializes in mushroom dishes.”
Hmm. I suppose a nice portabello burger might taste good right now. Let’s go. But if I see AmanitaSurprise on the dessert menu, I’m out of there.
(later, after a delicious lunch)
Sigyn, are you enjoying your holiday?
“Yes, Loki, very much!”
Come here and be smooched. Happy Yule, my precious.
The humans have proposed a day trip. When I heard them discussing it, I was under the impression it was just to the local furniture store to buy a table, but we are going to visit Old Mesilla, a town which, even though it is in a completely different state, is closer to the city we are in than the city we are in is to any other city in Texas. Sometimes Midgard just doesn’t make sense.
We are taking the long way there. Sigyn is entranced by the fields of cotton and the orchards of pecan trees we are passing, all watered by cleverly constructed canals that tap from the Rio Grande. I am busy planning how best to annex this territory when I launch my final push to take over the planet. From what I can tell, whoever controls the supply of three vital commodities—water, adobe, and Hatch green chilies—can be king in this part of the world.
We have arrived. It’s a small place, but apparently “rich in history.” Its main claim to fame is once having housed the notorious outlaw Billy the Kid. Well, now it has housed me, so it is even more significant.
There is a bi-towered church on the main plaza.
I know Sigyn would like to see inside, but unfortunately the doors are locked. That is fine with me. It doesn’t appear to be the sort of place that would welcome a Norse God anyway.
The human male wants to take some photos of the outside. I have other plans for his camera.
The square is surrounded by quaint little shops. Sigh. I just know I’m going to be dragged in and out of each and every one of them, but for my sweetie’s sake I will paste on a happy face and tag along. Besides, I might be able to find a good present for her. Yule is only three months away, after all.
This shop seems to be full of very… colorful knicknackery. Some of it is tasteful, if a bit religiously offensive to someone of my godliness.
I haven’t the heart to tell her that the little well is meant as a receptacle for holy water, not an observation post…
Great Frigga’s Hairpins! Such gaudy papier mache’ pussycats!
The human female’s mother is in the market for a new feline. But I do not think this is the sort she has in mind. Still, I might buy her one of these. She’d have to display it, out of politeness, and either one of them would clashwonderfully with all of her eagles and blue and white china…
And I might invite these fine fellows home for dinner.
We’ll have a jam session afterwards and all the neighborhood dogs will bark. It’ll be great.
Sigyn has discovered some more sedate companions.
Licking Sigyn on the forehead in 3…2…1. Slurp!
This next emporium has a selection of woven end embroidered items.
Those are so bright that I bet even the human female couldn’t manage to lose the glasses case in the black hole that is her backpack.
Store with spiced pistachios and local wine.
And our penultimate stop, the building that used to be the jail that held that famous outlaw. There is some very touristy stuff here, as well as a little something that I think will need to make an appearance in the human female’s stocking…
I realize you haven’t seen my beloved’s beautiful face this week. How remiss of me! I shall leave you, then, with this sweet portrait of my darling Sigyn and the little friend she made in the garden today.
Little inchworm, any way you measure it, my sweetie is perfect.
The human female fancies herself something of a scientist. She likes to “experiment,” but since she doesn’t often make notes or test her outcomes to see if they are repeatable, I think it qualifies more as “farting around.”
In any case, she recently read that it is possible to grow new lettuce from a lettuce core. Since she is cheap as well as curious, she decided to give it a try with the remains of a particularly fluffy and delicious head of leaf lettuce we recently enjoyed.
Great Frigga’s Hairpins! It appears to be working! The old leaves are withering, but there are new ones lengthening in the middle!
They’re already more than a Sigyn tall! If this keeps up, she’ll have enough to stuff a sandwich or something. But do be careful, dearest! I don’t want you falling in!
Sleipnir’s fetlocks! The lettuce has attracted a prodigious, pachydermal interloper!
I know my beloved has a way with animals and is not in any real danger, but still—I can’t look! She’s….she’s feeding it, isn’t she?
And does she have to sing the “Hippo Nommy-noms Song“?
I suppose if the humans ever go bankrupt, my sweetie could support us all by having a menagerie of well-trained animals that will literally eat right out of her hand and which will obey her every wish.
The humans have been whining again–“It’s too hot for March!” Look, mortals–A month ago you were moaning about Fimbulwinter. Make up your puny minds! If you want it cold again, I can arrange that for you…
Because it’s warm, and because it is another no-meat day, the humans are in the kitchen making salads for dinner. You know, Sigyn, we help out in here enough that we should have a new category for this blog: Loki and Sigyn in the Kitchen!
First, we should wash the spinach and take the stemmy bits off.
The human female says they’re properly “petioles” and not “stems.” Pedant.
Spinach, romaine… What else?
Cucumber! Definitely cucumber!
And carrots! Sigyn really likes carrots because orange is red and yellow together. What else?
Artichokes! Good choice! The human male likes them more than the female does, but I will happily eat the rest of her share. Let’s put in some tomatoes too. Now what?
Oooh! Fancy! The human male won’t want any, but the rest of us like them! And that gives me an idea. If the human female likes peppers…
…she won’t mind if I slice this one up and put it in her bowl. It’s so tiny, after all. She’ll never notice...
That’s all the rabbit food taken care of. Is there going to be any protein in this salad?
Odin’s eyepatch!Goat cheese?! Fig and black pepper goat cheese? I’m not sure about this…
Oh, now the goat is offended? No offense meant, goat. It’s just that I never thought of goat cheese as a salad item.
Of course Sigyn is making friends with the goat.
Well, that was predictable. Sigyn, love of my life, when you are done dallying with your caprine companion there, we have salads to construct. And I hear there’s a balsamic reduction to drizzle over them…
Sigyn, we make a great team! This looks delicious! Now, let’s get to the croutons before the human female hogs them all…
We slept very well in our cozy little camper last night. Of course, the fact that I conjured up a very soft and downy featherbed, a two-person bathtub, and a breakfast of crepes and fresh fruit just added to its charm.
So now we sally forth to see what delights this charming town has to offer. It’s supposed to have a famous open-air market in the square, so that’s where we are headed first.
Sigyn is beside herself! This farmer breeds an extraordinary sort of reindeer, one with a long and silky coat that he sells as fleeces or which his wife spins into yarn.
They have brought one of the beasts with them and Sigyn is losing no time making friends. I suspect we will be tarrying here for a while…
Look, Sigyn! This next stall seems to carry a lot of merchandise that looks like your friend Muffy.
Pick her out a nice souvenir and I will magically post it back to her. (I’m not trusting anything to Fed Up and Exhausted!)
Ehehehe! I should have known!
We may have been deprived of seeing glass in the museum, but if there are glass paperweights or snowglobes anywhere, you can be sure my beloved will find them! That gingerbread fellow is almost as tall as you!
Oh, now isn’t that cute?
Sigyn says this mug reminds her of the Terror Twins back home. She wants to know if I miss them. Sweetie, last night’s dinner was the first I’ve had without cat hair in months. No, I don’t miss them. But I do wonder if Taffy is still sleeping on the human female’s head, the way I’ve been teaching her? (I don’t have to actually be present to annoy the human female!)
I must admit to enjoying the movie. Sigyn liked the costumes. I liked the snark.
Now all of us, including the friends the humans met up with earlier today, are supposed to go eat dinner. The rendezvous place? One of the fun Japanese stores. It is much like the one in the big city to the west.
It is full of things Sigyn wants to make friends with.
I know you want to take the puppy home, sweetie, and having one more animal to shed on the human female’s clothes is an appealing prospect, I grant you, but it wouldn’t get along with the Terror Twins.
Yes, you are right. This dragon would not shed–at at least not hair. And I can see that though he looks fierce, he is just a big softy.
But how big is he going to grow? You need to think ahead. Once he’s the size of a house and the neighbors start complaining, you’ll be sad. That’s right: give him one last hug and tell him goodbye.
That was close! I thought for a minute we were adding a dragon to the family. Sigyn, are you about ready to go eat? Sigyn–?
Where did Sigyn go?
I should have known.
Sigyn has been adopted by a family of pandas. She says that she doesn’t want to bring one home with us, because it would miss all its brothers and sisters and cousins, but she wants to know if she can come back to visit every now and then.
I think that could be arranged…
Looks like we will be eating with sticks again. Oh, goody. (I can do it, but ramen is splattery, and my cloak has enough problems already.)
Ehehehe. I’ve arranged a little surprise for the human female. She was in the mood for chicken ramen, but ALL the ramen on the menu is pork belly! (That’s what you get for dragging me to a place that makes me eat with sticks.) So sad! Looks like it’s veggie ramen for you!
And all the dumplings for me!
Well, I’ll share with Sigyn, of course. But none for the rest of you!
Nom nom nom. Tummy’s full now. Since I missed my movie nap, I think I may sleep all the way home. (Which is just as well, as the conversation is sure to be 100% pens.)
An unusual game has just been brought out, one the human male received for his just-past birthday. It involves trying to balance various animals on a plinth. The animals are all angle-y and intriguing.
You just met that bear! You don’t know if he’s friendly or not. And maybe he doesn’t like hugs.
I do not trust the eagle-condor-vulture thing, either.
Back, winged fiend! I know she’s snack-sized, but restrain yourself!
The octopus, however, is very friendly— and quite good at shaking hands.
This beast seems tame as well.
What’s it called? “Warthog?” This must be the human female’s game piece, yes?
Sweet Glittering Bifrost! What is that?!
The game rules identify it as a Mythical Omni-Beast composed of some aspect of each of the others. It has warthog tusks, a shark fin, the toucan beak, bear paws, and so on. It’s a good thing it appears to be gentle, because Sigyn is thoroughly smitten.
No one knows what this piece does.
Looks like the humans have managed to get the shark, the warthog, and a crossing symbol onto the plinth. And a Sigyn.
Ah! Now it all begins to make more sense.
The plinth is magic, and each animal piece has a small spell attached. The magic can communicate with a computer so that the animals become part of a narrative on the screen.
The object is to keep all the animals alive by “feeding” them “energy” with the polyhedral pieces that must also be balanced on the plinth.
The “cross” game piece does just that–it crosses two of the animals currently on the plinth.
Which is how we managed to make a Ruffled Swinejaw…
I will admit, this is amusing. It is giving me all sorts of good ideas for beasts I could engender to form part of my army.
So far, the humans are playing in what they call “co-op mode”, in which they all join efforts to stack as many animals and generate as many bizarre mutants as possible. That is all well and good, but where is the competition? Where is the striving? I think we need to invoke Battle Mode, where a card deck comes into play.