big city to the south

Fun and Games with Fun and Games

Thor, my oafish brother, may command lightning and all that, but I myself am no slouch when it comes to electricityEspecially when it involves getting the human female’s electronic gizmos  to disgrace themselves without warning when the chips are down.

Tonight, the humans are playing games with some of their friends from various Big Cities to the north and south. They’ve found a website that lets one of the group who has bought a copy of one of their game bundles log in, choose a game, and then send a code to everyone else so that they can go to the website and join the same game.

It’s a neat concept.  With the whole group in on a video meeting as well, it is much like a party.  A weird camera-angle, lounge-in-your pajamas, eat-snacks, drink-wine, and contend-with-random-appearances-by-small-semi-naked-people sort of party.

It worked perfectly last week.  I even sat in on a round.  The object of that particular game was making snarky comments for other people to upvote, and I was the very clear winner.  No one outsnarks me. 

That was last week.  Tonight, just to thwart the human female and render her even more socially inept when it comes to gaming, I have had a word with her tablet.

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Ehehehehe!  That is a whole lot of diddly-squat!  Obviously, it does not like you.

Maybe you need to update your browser.

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Maybe you need to remember your password.

Oh, you typed it in exactly as you wrote it down, ages ago?

Maybe you need to update your operating system.  But right in the middle of a party is not exactly when the human male feels like doing tech support.

Guess you get to sit and watch.

I suppose you can sit in the corner and play solitaire on your phone.

Oh.

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Ehehehe!   Until recently, the human female had a repeated number in the code that unlocks her phone.  I made it so that unless she hit those two sixes at precisely the right interval it would take only one of them, and then when she hit it again, it would act as if she waited too long and error out.  And, of course, I had saw to it that the open-with-a-thumbprint quit working about two days after she set that up, so that wasn’t an option either.

The other day she finally decided she’d had enough and changed her PIN.  About half the time, she forgets and tries the old one, so she’s really no better off.  She also reprogrammed her thumbprint-ID.  There’s no denying that’s convenient.  It’s amazing how sensitive that little app is!

So sensitive, in fact, that it can read a partial print when she picks up her phone just so and decide that she’s an impostor trying to gain access.  And what does it do to impostors?  It locks them out!

Tsk, tsk.  I think there’s a deck of cards in the end table…

>|: [

 

 

A Boxful of Color, Part I: Because Apparently a Million Colors Are Not Enough

The human male and his friend, wanting a little bit of fun in case this area gets “locked down,” made a quick dash to the Big City to the South last weekend.

Three guesses where they went, and the first two don’t count.

The Purveyor of Pens.  You are correct.  The male came back with this intriguing box.  Come, Sigyn, let us check it out.  It is certainly a colorful package.

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Hmm.  A make-your-own-ink kit.  This could be amusing.

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“3 Oysters”?!  Let us hope that that is some ridiculous brand name and not the contents of the box!

Inside the cardboard sleeve is a shiny silver tin.  Sigyn if you take that side and I take this one…

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…I think we can manage to get it open.

This looks promising indeed!  Although why would you want to go messing about and adulterate what is already the perfect shade?

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Sigyn is so excited that there is red that she hasn’t noticed the other colors yet.

The kit includes a twisty-nibbed glass pen for doing Fancy Writing.

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Careful, my sweet–don’t drop that.  When you are done admiring the craftsmanship, slide the point back in its little rubber sleeve.

There are also a tiny bottle of thinner/toner and two little mixing beakers.

Oh, for the love of Frigga’s petticoats!

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I can’t look. Sigyn’s managed to trap herself, hasn’t she?

Some days I really wonder about her…

>|: [

 

There’s Another One!

The humans have discovered that the Big City to the South now has one of the markets that is a Purveyor of All Things Cute and Japanese.  Sigyn and I liked the one we went to in the Big City to the West.

Sigyn is beyond delighted!  This little puzzle has two of her favorite things–

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Totoros and poofy dandelions.  Not to mention Soot Sprites!

And this one has Totoros and strawberries.    Definitiely “squee-worthy!”

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The store is not all cutesy-wootsey, though.  In the back there appears to be a congregation of spikey monsters.

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“Don’t touch the display?”  I don’t think there’s any danger of our wanting to do that!

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Sigyn, I know you like to make friends, but I think this is one critter you don’t want to try to hug…

>|: [

 

I Called It

I called it.  Both ways.  We are eating lunch, AND we are doing it at the little restaurant in the Large Market.

The human female has a little salad, a roll, and some southwestern cream of poblano pepper soup.  It’s a chilly day– soup will be welcome.  When she’s not looking, I expect to enjoy about half of it.  Sigyn’s more interested in the bunny food.

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The male has soup of his own.  He’s also ordered some arancini.  Theoretically, these are little balls of leftover risotto, breaded and fried.  In actuality, they are little morsels of delight, knitted from moonbeams and unicorn tears by the elves of Vanaheim.

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I will fight the entire nine realms for this one.

As all assembled are finishing their noshing, Sigyn is exploring the table decorations.

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I just cannot keep my sweetie out of flowers!  Truth to tell, I don’t really try.

Lunch finished, we are now perusing the market.  As usual, the humans are buying all of the things that they can’t get back home.  That certain brand of pretzels, that one flavor of fizzy water, the gummy octopi…

Also as usual, Sigyn is making friends with zoomorphic cream pitchers.

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If Sigyn is ever in mortal peril and I have to call on all her admirers and acquaintances for help, there is going to be an entire ceramic critter brigade.

The floral department is Sigyn’s favorite part of the whole market.  It is so colorful!  She looks radiant with these yellow English garden roses.

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And just as charming in these rosy tulips.

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She thinks these pink pepper berries might be among her very favorites.

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(But she says that about everything.)

I am intrigued by these green poofy thingies.  The human female says they’re mutant carnations.

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Maybe they are; maybe they aren’t.  They just look so wrong that they’re right, you know?

We are both intrigued by these sTraNgE carnations–they’re pinkish AND greenish!

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The overall effect is a bit…odd. The individual components are all right– pink is good and green is good—but as a whole, they give an impression of fading, of genteel decay.  The whole is less than the sum of its parts.

Sort of like the human female.

>|: [

A Quick Visit to the Knittery Friend

The humans are going to visit the Knittery Friend and her kin in the Big City to the South.  They do this because they didn’t see one another over Yule and because children grow up so quickly and eternal friendship, blah, blah, blah.

We all know it’s because the Knittery Friend bakes.

So… The not-yet-delivered Yule parcels are packed and ready to take.

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Taffy Cat is certain that the Knittery Friend must be receiving catnip mousies and has very selflessly offered to do quality control.  Stand down, foul feline!  You had two mice of your own at Yule and we all  know that they both vanished not five minutes later.  If you cannot keep track of your own toys, do not go bothering someone else’s. 

On the other hand, if you wish to a) annoy the human female and b) fill up all the gift bags with cat hair, be my guest.

(later)  We are here.  Hug, hug.  Yack, yack.  The highly mobile children, I observe, are almost of an age to be suborned into my army.  I shall have to keep my eye on them…

Ah!  Time for presents.  One of the gifts  is this bottle of ink, for the Knittery Friend is also a lover of fountain pens.

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I count five fonts on that box.  Only three are legible, none of which is the name or color of the ink.   Try plugging those squiggles into Google Translate!  But hmmm…. My Loki Sense tells me that there is green ink in that box.

And my Growly Tummy tells me that capicola and mozzarella balls would make a very good afternoon snack.

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The human female never feeds us anything this nice at home.

>|: [

These Trips Get Shorter and Shorter, Part III: A Colorful Finish

The humans usually finish one of these jaunts with a trip to the Large Market, and today is no exception.

The plantings in front of the market are enjoying one last bit of warm weather before things turn colder.

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The human female has, of course, headed straight for the apples.  Kanzi is one of her favorites.

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What?  You don’t like this one with the special dimple?  Snob, that’s what you are.

What Lovecraftian nightmare is this?!  Sigyn!  Get out of there!

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Oh.  Right.  I do remember this “beast.”  It’s just a harmless buddha’s hand.

The floral section is a lot less alarming.

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What are those spiky silvery-blue ones?  I like them.

Sigyn likes these red and yellow ones.

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But I think the zinnias are her favorites.

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Ah, my petal–you are the prettiest thing here.

>|: [

These Trips Get Shorter and Shorter, Part II: 餃‎: ‎ 間違いなく美味しい

There is one part of a jaunt to a Big City that I actually do like.  Any chance to enjoy a lunch that is not of the human female’s making is a real treat.  A visit to a different city affords a chance to dine at an establishment that does not consider peanut butter and jelly the pinnacle of lunchtime fare.

The human female has used her phone to locate an “interesting” place to eat.

Hmmm.

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Some of the menu options look quite tasty.

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Sigyn is seduced by all the colorful photos.

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Don’t do it, Sigyn!  It’s raw fish.

We have ordered, and the food is about to arrive.  Oh, no…  I forgot that this sort of food means eating with sticks.

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But the chicken tempura looks amazing.

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And I could easily eat this whole boat-dish of gyoza by myself.

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The main course comes with a salad.

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Sigyn approves of the ginger dressing.  It does smell good.

The human female is is even more boring than usual today.  Teriyaki chicken!  She has no imagination.

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The male has ordered a curry, which is somewhat more adventurous.

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I will let the others eat all this up.  I’m heading back to the kitchen to see if there are more of those dumplings…

>|: [

These Trips Get Shorter and Shorter, Part II: Finally, Some Merchandise to Fit My Needs

As I suspected, our first stop in the Big City to the South is the Purveyor of Pens.  This is where the humans and their bachelor friend will spend an interminable amount of time sampling inks, trying out pens they can afford, trying out pens they can’t afford and shouldn’t be messing with, and abandoning Sigyn and me to entertain ourselves while they dither and dawdle.  Come on, people!  How many scribing tools does one mortal need?

Hmmm.  I have discovered something on one counter which, while not pen-related and not actually for sale, is certainly something I could use.

I really, really like this sign.

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No, wait!  I want this one!  When I take over Midgard, I will have this sitting, front and center, on my enormous desk, right near where supplicants must stand.

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Right over the trap door into the dungeon…

>|: [

These Trips Get Shorter and Shorter, Part I: Getting There Is NOT Half the Fun

The humans are very jaunty people.  By that, I do not mean that they are perky, sprightly, cute, or energetic.  Far from it. Far, FAR from it.  No, I mean that at a moment’s notice they will hop into the car at on a jaunt to one of the big cities down the road.

Today their objective is the Big City to the South.  Sigyn wants to go, which means I have to go, to make sure she stays safe.  Norns’ Nighties! Weren’t we just there?

So, yes. I will lay aside my plans for today.  I will get into the car.  I will prepare myself for four hours’ of inane conversation in the car, and for being dragged all over when we get there.

But that doesn’t mean I am going to make it easy for you.

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>|: [

 

It’s About Time.

A BHI  (Big, Heavy Item) arrived in the stockroom for the human yesterday, but it was raining, so she and her staff waited a bit.  And then the stockroom was closed, so it’s not today until someone can go fetch it and cart it over here.

Great Frigga’s Corset!  It’s the long-lost centrifuge!  It was not delivered by F&THS, whose paperwork carries the delightful slogan.

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(The human female was surprised, because apparently they only go as far as the Big city to the South)

Nor was it delivered by Yeah, Right, Ciao, but by a third, apparently more reliable, shipper.

Here it is, out of its protective swaddlings.  It’s ENORMOUS!  And so terribly clean!

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Yeah, that won’t last.

Let’s plug it in!   Odin’s eyepatch!  Look at that slick display!

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Speed, timer, and a bunch of other things.  Hmmm.  This looks complicated. I’m not sure the human female should go anywhere near it…

The inside is clearly set up for some good, fast, fun!

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Come, on Sorvall!  Let’s go for a spin!

>|: [

P.S.  Sigyn, here.  You know what the best part about this shipment is?  It’s the return address for the vendor:

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Is that not the cutest address ever?  I’d love to live on a street with a cute name like that!  I think I’ll ask the humans if we can move…

: )