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Seasonal Shopping, Part I: Summer Goods

At the risk of stating the blatantly obvious–it is summer here in this part of Midgard, and it is HOT.  Wicked hot.  Burny hot.  Move-to-Muspelheim-for-the-cool-breezes hot.  To touch a seat-belt buckle is to risk third-degree burns. Shoppers are looking for tiny shorts, light gauzy tops, inflatable kiddie pools, and enormous watermelons.   Fall and cooler weather are just beginning to think about being the merest hints of notions of tiny dots on the far horizon.

Which, is, of course, why I’ve instructed the stores to put out seasonally appropriate merchandise. 

Sigyn, would you care to demonstrate?

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Drives the human female bonkers.

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So What’s the Haul This Year, Sigyn?

Last year, all we garnered from our costumed shake-down of the populace was a scarce handful of fruity life-preservers.  The spoils this year were rather better.

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If we can just keep the human female from eating all the Smarties, we will be doing very well indeed.  Here, mortal–this lolly says, “Dum Dum,” so it is obviously yours.

Hold!  What’s this?  Fenrir’s fleacollar!  Sigyn, the human female has been holding out on us!  She has sour gummy octopuses!  Octopi?

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Wait. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven–I thought so!   This cephalopod is defective.  It has only seven arms.  It’s a mutant!

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They’re all like that!  Somehow “sour gummy septopuses” doesn’t have the same ring.  Poor deformed creatures.  It would be a kindness to put them out of their misery.

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