captain america

Into the New Year, Part II: All the Usual Suspects

Arrgh. This party looks to be just as pretentious and loud and obnoxious as I feared it would be. Stark has chosen to have it, not in the spacious lounge (whose window I once yeeted him out of), but in one of his cavernous workrooms. I suppose he was trying for “industrial chic”, but the result is not overly festive.

And here comes the man himself!

“Hello, hello! Welcome to me! And my tower! Glad you could make it. Sigyn, you’re looking as beautiful as ever. Dum-E, get these two a drink.”

“Hello, Stark. I see the Ugly Sweater Fairy paid you a Yule visit.”

“Pepper picked it out. I think it’s…quirky. Besides, Reindeer games, it’s about a thousand times better than that ratty green cape of yours. But come on in. Mi casa, and all that.”

Sigyn is a first-class mingler. She has made a beeline for the grill, where the female guests have got lobster and turkey legs going and are each possessed of a colorful cocktail.

(Captain Marvel:) “Hi, Sigyn! Glad you could make it!”

“Hi, Carol, Hi, Pepper! Nat, Darcy, good to see you. Is Jane here too?”

(Darcy:) “No, she’s off doing some science-y stuff at the South Pole. You know. Can we get you a drink? I’ve got a Purple People Eater, Pep’s a margarita girl, Widow’s got some mead or something, and Captain’s sticking with white wine.”

“Thanks. Maybe later.”

….

I see all sorts of people here I’d pay good money not to have to talk to. That corner over there looks particularly awful.

(Spidey:) “So this old lady bought me a churro. Turns out they’re great and now I can’t stop eating ’em.”

(Thor:) “Truly. I feel the same about these turkey legs.”

(Both:) “And that burger looks really, really good…”

….

I see the “No lie, there I was”-ing has started up over there.

Confession time. I can never tell Peter Quill and Hawkeye apart when they’re unarmed. Bow and arrow, it’s Birdbrain. Dorky goggles and a blaster, it’s Quill. No weapons? Toss up. Doesn’t matter, though. My tolerance for braggadocio is quite limited–my own glorious exploits are the only ones worth paying attention to–so there’s no way in Hel I’m going to break in on that little gathering.

Ehehehe! Nick Fury trying to make small talk with T’Challa and Muffy.

Now that’s an awkward situation almost worth coming to this party to see.

Well, well, well. What’s going on over there? Looks like the Arboreal Crowd are having a little confab.

Uh, oh. Someone had better keep an eye on Rocket…

or that little wreath-bot is going to finish the evening minus a couple of components…

Hmm. Mischief. Maybe this party isn’t a total waste of time after all…

>|: [

A Mischievous Milestone!

I’m pretty sure that since most humans are too busy to keep track of such things–and that some (like the human female) can’t count that high–none of the minions who read this ongoing record of my exploits have realized that, sometime in the last week, my journal has passed

TWO THOUSAND ENTRIES.

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Granted, some of them were brief announcements (often of the nature of “I didn’t do it” with a chuckle at some poor mortal’s misfortune), but I still feel this calls for some sort of recognition.

Gather, my adoring masses!  My ears await your paeans of praise!  Where are the armies marching in review?  Where are the fireworks? Where is my parade already?

2000-crowd

Ah, well.  At least there’s cake.

>|: [

Feel free to express your adulation in the comments!  Don’t leave me here with only the noise of Thor chewing.

The Only Thing Worse Than Costumes is a Party, Part I: Hail, Hail, the Gang’s All Here

Double ugh!  Extorting sweetmeats from the populace went well enough—with Sigyn’s wheelbarrow, we made quite a haul—and I was content with a productive evening.  But noooo!  Sigyn has wheedled and cajoled me into attending a partyForced socializing.

I’d rather chew broken glass.

I can only hope that the refreshments are good and that everyone else’s costume looks stupider than mine.

Looks like we’re some of the first to arrive.  The decorations leave a lot to be desired and I don’t see any refreshments at all.  I’m already ready to leave.

A: “Guten Abend, Sigyn!  Und guten Abend, Loki.”

S: “Doktor Arnold?  Remus?  Is that you?  Your costumes are so cute!”

hall-party1

L:  “I’m glad to see you, Arnold.  Your silly bomb get-up makes my sparkly pajamas look downright dignified.”

S: “Tony!  That has to be you!  You make a fantastic Dalek!”

hall-party2-dalek

TS: "Pepper wouldn't let me wear the Iron Man armor.  At least this way I 
still get to swan around in a red tin can."

hall-party3-exterminate

"EXTERMINATE!!"

hall-party4-here is steve

"Hey, Cap!  The party's this way!  Come on in!"

hall-party5-steves a pez

CA:  “Hi, guys.  Happy Halloween.”

S: “Hee hee hee hee!  Steve, you look so cute!”

L: “It’s official.  I’m in Hel.”

hall-party6-muffy and tchalla

S:  “T’Challa!  You’re a kitty!”

BP:  “Indeed. Greetings, Sigyn.  You look lovely.”

S:  “And Muffy!  You look great.  But who are you supposed to be?”

M: “I tried to think of the scariest person I know.  I’m Pepper Potts in CEO mode.”

hall-party7-remus

L: “Keep your paws off my cape, you loathsome primate.”

R: <chittering>

hall-party8-bruce and hawkeye

CA: “Hey!  Great chicken get-up, Hawkeye!”

H: “Bwaaak!  And I brought the Spider Kid.”

SM/PP: “Hi, guys!  Look!  I’m a caterpillar!”

S: “And, Bruce!   You make a very convincing turtle.”

BB: “Yeah. It just seemed sort of natural to go with green.”

hall-party9-thor and rocket

L:  “Rocket. I should have known you’d turn up if there was food.  There isn’t any, actually, but here you are anyway.  I see you didn’t put a lot of effort into a costume.”

R: “What do you mean?  This is the perfect costume.  I’m R. J.  You know–the handsome one from Over the Hedge?”

L:  “And Thor.  Don’t think I don’t recognize you under all that fake squirrel fur.  Who or what are you supposed to be?”

T: “I am the mighty Hammer…er, Hammy, also from Over the Hedge.”

L: “And you thought “demented squirrel” was a good choice because—?”

T: “I was with Rocket and the costume shop was running a two-for special.”

L: “Norns’ nighties, Thor. You’re such an idiot.”

hall-party10-bucky in a hoodie

CA: “Bucky!  You made it!”

<snort!>  What's with the pink hoodie, Murder Boy?

BB:  “Left things ’til the last minute.  This was all they had.”

Well, it is very fetching.  I shall EXTERMINATE you last.

hall-party11-quill is pink

Everyone: “Quill!”  “Peter!”  “Star Lord!”

Q: “Wow.  Um.  I know this is… uh… a girly tennis Smurfette outfit or something, but…It’s dress-up day, right?  So I figured, go with an opposite, because I’m, uh, very manly and… Hey!  I brought a mix tape!  Anybody want to dance?”

L:  Someone please kill me now.

to be continued…

Revenge of the Flora, Part 8

Vrooooom!

Screeeech!

Hey!  What’s all the ruckus?  Why’ve you got hold of my friend Sigyn, and what’s the kitten doing on the ground?

33-heres-rocket1

“Stay out of this, rodent.  It doesn’t concern you.”

“‘Rodent‘, is it?  Just for that, me and my buddy Groot, here, are gonna unleash six kinds of whoop-ass on you. ”

34-heres-rocket3

“See this cannon?  When this is all done, there won’t be enough left of you jokers to make a small side-salad and a boutonniere.  What do you say to that?”

35-heres-rocket4

Vrooooom!

“Hey, Rocket—Need any help?”

“Nah, Cap, I got this, but because I’m such a nice guy, I’ll let you take a swing at a couple of the posies, if you want.”

36-heres-steve

“Thanks!  Because I hate bullies, even if they do look like a corsage run amok.”

37-heres-steve2

“Now, listen up:  You weeds have two of my good friends.  Let them go now and we can all walk away from this in one piece.”

“Ha!  Do your worst, Captain Spandex!”

<knuckles cracking>  “I was kinda hoping you’d say that.”

“You stand no chance of defeating us!”

On va voir!

(to be continued…)