dead cats are heavy

Return of the Dead Cat Ballet

You didn’t really think I’d let this go, did you?

Astute readers may recall that the human female was struggling to pay for the latest shipment of Dead Things.

She’s still struggling.  The whole flap initially was that there was one invoice for the Purveyor of Dead Things at the right Vendor ID Number and one with the wrong VID.  As far as the human female knows, it should have been possible to just tear up the wrong one, but both had been cancelled.

She looked again a few days ago, and there are STILL two invoices attached to the PO, but both are showing the right VID and one is for the mostly complete shipment, and another for the backordered things.  Both are cancelled.  The PODT has been asked to provide a new one.  Maybe it’ll get paid.  Maybe it won’t.  Only the Bean Counters really know (and they work for me.)



Three boxes of ACTUAL DEAD CATS have shown up!  These were ordered back in May from the Purveyor of Squiggly Things (who also deals in Dead Things, though they’re not as well-preserved as the Dead Things from the PODT–are you following all of this?)  They were ordered because the PODT couldn’t promise 14 stiff kitties, so the human female ordered these as backup, because the POST said they could deliver.

The ones from PODT got here weeks ago.

It doesn’t show on the packing slips, but the order was specifically for 6 female and 8 male.  What did she get?  10 female and 4 male.

Ehehehehe!  This may be my very favorite prank EVER.

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The Dead Cat Ballet, Acts I-IV

It is nearly time for the annual Dead Cat Ballet.  You will recall that I recently provided a synopsis of the Overture.  We have now had Act One, in which the human female was informed that a PO was generated for her requisition.  But there already WAS a PO, and the Purveyor of Dead Things was already working to assemble the requisite number of corpses!  Would the human female receive double the Dead Things?! Cue flurry of frantic emails.  Did she need to cancel this new PO?  Yes?  No?  Turns out that the PO number stayed the same as was mentioned in the Overture, but to avoid confusion, a new requisition number was given when the request moved from out-for-bid to bid-awarded.  Because that’s not at all confusing…

Act Two has involved Central Receiving  which, as you recall, is among the dramatis personae for the Ballet because the large trucks from PODT cannot navigate down the alley along which the human female’s workplace is located.  They originally acceded to the human female’s request to receive the shipment from PODT in early August and deliver it to the human female on the 11th.  Except now it is going to be later, a far less auspicious day.  Pick a day, mortals!  I need to know when to make it rain.

Act Three involves outsourced Area Maintenance because, as always, to get ready to receive Dead Things, one must be able to drive a pallet jack through the doorway, which has a nice, convenient post in the middle.  The human female placed a work request to have this done on Ballet Day, only to be told that this is not actual maintenance and so she will have to PAY for the privilege of being able to shuffle Dead Things.  She didn’t ask me.  I could get rid of that pesky post once and for all.  Also some floor tile and some actual doors, but hey, there’d be room for the pallet jack.

Act Four has been a total surprise to everyone involved.  The human female went to the stock room to pick up a few things and was presented with not one, not two, not three, not four, but FIVE boxes of…..drum roll……dead cats from the Purveyor of Dead Things!  Unexpected, unannounced, and not part of the regularly scheduled Dead Cat Ballet–which, this year, was not even supposed to include Dead Cats.  The human female had to perform some accounting archaeology to figure out which ancient PO these erstwhile pussycats fulfilled.  Any guesses?

LAST August.  That’s correct!  These were ordered LAST August.  Incredible.  Just to make life more interesting, 26 were ordered and 21 were shipped, which raises the question:  If you are going to wait an entire year to ship, why not wait a bit longer and ship the whole benighted order?

That’s all right.  The Departmental Bean Counters are going to just LOVE this partial receipt which is sure now to make this PO overhang the end of one fiscal year and dangle into the next…

And we haven’t even gotten to Ballet Day yet!
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Mischief update

Just because I am slogging through piles and drifts and eddies of all that is baffling, useless, goopy, or ritually unclean down here in the human female’s backpack, do not for a moment think I have slacked off in the mischief department. Mischief level: 5.

Some items from my list of recent accomplishments:

1. Everyone in the department received this memo from the building coordinator: “This email is to inform you a criminal incident has occurred in or around your building. An individual attempted to gain entry into Heldenfels through room 004C through the steam tunnels, causing damage to the lock, handle, and door frame. Several doors in the steam tunnel were also damaged. This case is currently under investigation.”

That was not me personally, but I do have henchmen working in the area. The human female’s basement space houses many dead animals. I have no interest in those, but other rooms in the basement have valuable equipment, and I need a few things for my super secret lair. Clearly, though, I shall have to have a little talk about *finesse* with my workmen.

2. What goes up must come down. The building’s elevator was due to be offline for maintenance, starting on the 15th. I made a few phone calls and it has been moved it up to the 12th. The pick-up of all the dissection specimens from a whole semester’s worth of dissections is scheduled for the 13th. The humans have been flailing about with phone calls, schedules, staging areas, and hired muscle. I plan to help shift things. Not because I care whether all the specimens get to the incinerator, but because I might have a use for a preserved feline carcass… (The human female just falls into bed without checking. If I lived with me, I would be more careful.)

3. I have noted before the human female’s addiction to ice cream. While I am not responsible for her favorite manufacturer having to shut down for a few months due to a contamination problem, I may have done a little magical nudging to ensure the return to production is delayed as long as possible.

In other news, Science has once again confirmed that I am pretty darned special! They have named a very important organism after me. How do you like that, Thor?

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