doomed to disappointment

A Most Interesting Catalog, Part II: Disillusionment

Sigyn and I are having fun, picking out animals to order from this unusual catalog.  Some animals we want because they are beautiful.  Some, because they are useful or amusing.  Others just have funny names.


Ehehehehe!  Behold, the Pacific Spookfish!   And what is a “cookiecutter shark“?  It sounds cute, but I imagine it’s probably just as bitey as all the others.

Ordering all of these animals is going to really add up!  Of course, I’m going to put it all on the human female’s credit card, so price is no object.

Come, my love, let us find the order form.  It’s probably at the back.

There’s nothing here.  I don’t understand.  Come to think of it, there are no prices listed and no price list, either.  What kind of catalog is this?!


Ah.  I think I may know what the problem is.


This is not a book from which one may order animals…


It is a book about the taxonomic Orders of the animals.


And it’s not even a proper book.  It  is actually a calendar.


With the lamest calendar grid ever.

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Great Expectations

Dear Human Female,

You got all excited when you found some cinnamon-sugar pretzels at the Big Fancy Food Market.  They make a nice snack, with the added benefit that they’re less inclined to go straight to your thighs than cake or cookies.

You packed some in your lunch today and have been looking forward to eating them all morning.


Here–I’ll open them for you.

Sniff!  Smell the cinnamon?  Smell the rancid oils?   Ehehehehe! You are correct!   I’ve perfected my pretzel-staling spell!


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