fall down go boom

So What Was In the Demolished Box??

I am just as curious as Sigyn is to see what is in the mutilated box delivered by Unrepentant Package Squashers yesterday.

Sleipnir’s fetlocks!

It’s more of those stackable animals for that game the humans liked so much.

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What is this one supposed to be?  I approve of the color, but I have no clue what it is.

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Oh.  The human female says its a tricky lizard, one that can change his color at will.  Being a shape-shifter myself, I can appreciate the usefulness of a quick disguise.  You and I may get along well, lizard.

Sigyn is introducing herself to…  A person-faced lion with a goatee and aviator goggles?!

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I’m beginning to wonder if the shaking up that parcel took mashed all the contents around and this thing started out as five or six other things…

Okay.  This one, at least, I recognize.  A flamingo–nothing else is that pink or that stilty.

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They’re famous for standing around on one leg. Sigyn is practicing her own balancing on one leg.

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It’s not going very well.

Stay behind me, Sigyn!  Unless I’m very much mistaken, that is a dragon, and it doesn’t do to leave them out of your calculations, especially if you are small, cute, and tasty-looking.

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Sigyn, don’t!

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Oh, well.  I should have known she’d have the beast tamed in no time at all.

Ehehehehehe!  The chameleon was silly, the flamingo was ridiculous, and the dragon, though fierce, has these goofy little wings and really isn’t very terrifying at all, but THIS goober takes the cake.

Or the fish food, as the case may be.

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Don’t be fooled by its wiggly little forehead “worm,” Sigyn.  That’s how it lures in its prey.

Sigyn! What are you doing?!  Have you NO sense of self-preservation at all?

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Oh.

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Playing dental hygienist.

Sweetest, you and your notions will be the death of me yet.

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Perhaps I Should Ease Up…

The human female is clumsy.  There’s really no other way to put it.  Not a week goes by that she doesn’t misjudge a doorway or round a desk corner a mite too closely.  I’ll be honest—sometimes I give her a little extra nudge.  It doesn’t usually take much, though.

That being said, it’s been a rough couple of weeks for her.  Last Saturday, when she was wiping up some spilled water in the dining room (I helped the human male drop his travel mug), I didn’t point out a puddle she missed.  Not five minutes later, she found it the hard way and ended up in a startled little pile on the kitchen floor.  Bruised knee.

Later that same day she was pulling some invasive Japanese honeysuckle out in the woods with some Nature Nerds.  I think they pulled several miles of vines and runners.  Did I see the nest of fire ants?  Yes.  Did I warn her?  No… not exactly.  Did I have a good laugh when she did the yelping and arm flapping thing?  Maaaaybe.  Nine good solid bites that still itch and which will probably scar.  She should know better than to stick her hand in the soil without looking.  I’ve probably taught her a valuable lesson.

On Wednesday at work last week, she was carrying a big, light-but-bulky-and-slidey armful of styrofoam to take to recycling.  She came out of the prep room, marching in that determined way she has, barging along even though she couldn’t see over her burden—and promptly fell over a student and his laptop who were minding their business and sitting quietly on the floor.  It was just like in the movies when they show the death of the dinosaurs and the hapless behemoths topple over, making the earth shake.  Bruised hip and other knee, wrenched toe bones.

Then, on the Saturday just past, she put some mulch on the flower beds (and that in itself is a fun story, because she had to go to FOUR places to find mulch!)  All the mulch bags were wet and heavy, and when she bent down to adjust a bag in her little, two-wheeled wheelie barrow  (I pointed out that the load was crooked), I got to see a most beautiful display of physics.  The bag fell forward, the barrow tipped, and the metal handle of the barrow whipped up and smacked her right across the bridge of her nose.  The noise was most impressive!

Suncast 15 Gal. Portable Resin Taupe Lawn Cart

 

<<<<< picture of the perp

 

 

 

So today she has a cut between her beady eyes and, while she’s not sporting a full double-shiner, it does look like she’s played a bit fast and loose with the brown eye-shadow.  Sort of a barely-there-panda effect.

So there she is, looking like an escapee from a silent slapstick comedy movie.   I know, I know.  I should have not only more self-control, but more compassion.  There’s enough trouble for her to get into without my assistance in percussive maintenance.   I will let up—else the poor thing will never make it to the New Year in one piece.

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Ice is Nice, Part II: Skating Lessons

It’s so sad!  Sigyn has never been ice skating before.  It’s a very common activity in Asgard, and– of course!–it’s a primary mode of travel in Jotunheim, so I am quite proficient.

Don’t worry, dearest!  I’ve got you! Hold onto me until you get over the wobbles.

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Remember to move slowly.  If you make any sudden movements–

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–you can end up flat on your fundament.

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Sigyn?  Sigyn?  Poor sweetie!  Are you all right?  I’m so sorry!   Did you bump your head?  Come here–let me kiss it and make it better.

I know!  Let me put a stability spell on us both.  That ought to keep us upright for the rest of the day, yes?  While I’m at it, shall I add in a tiny cantrip to protect against frozen noses and chilled fingers and goes?

(Do I even need to point out that I actually have no problem at all with Sigyn clinging desperately to my person, but I do want her to be able to enjoy herself with confidence?)

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Gaming Gathering, Part II: Tier Auf Tier

It is Sigyn’s turn to pick the next game, and she has chosen Tier Auf Tier, or Animal Upon Animal, for those whose command of various tongues is not as great as mine.

We have not actually started playing, because Sigyn is busy making friends with the animals. Mooooo.

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This giraffe seems to be a bit more standoffish than some of the others we have met.

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The snakes, however, seem amenable to a new overlord.

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Let us begin! The object is to place all of one’s animals upon this crocodile, without any toppling over. Seems simple enough. We are playing with the animals from several editions of the game, so this may become tricky very quickly. It is my turn first.

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I have rolled a one, so I must choose an animal and carefully stack it.

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Squirrel! Not a problem. Your turn, Sigyn.

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Oh, you’ve rolled a two! That means you will go out more quickly, which is good, but putting on two in one turn can be tricky.
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The penguin has gone up easily enough.

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And so has the toucan! Steady, my love. He is hanging over a little on this side, which may cause problems later.

My turn again. Oh, this is lucky!

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Rolling a crocodile means I may place my animal on the table top, as long as it is touching the crocodile.

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That is a really good way to get rid of the awkward giraffe.

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Sigyn has rolled the hand, which is the best roll you can get. It means she can give one of her animals to me and I have to put it on. It’s a no-risk way to get rid of an animal that is heavy or oddly shaped or that just won’t fit on whatever is already in the stack.

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Gee. Thanks ever so.

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Ha! One flamingo, neatly disposed of! (I may have had to use my magic just a tad to get him up there…)

Now it’s my turn. I’ve rolled another one.

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The knobbly hedgehogs are actually fairly easy to stack. If you have two, their spines interlock nicely.

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Sigy’s one on the die has earned her a chance to add a snake to the growing pile. Well done, my love, but dare I say it? Snakes are easy. They are light and can induced to interlock as well.

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A panther, now. That takes real skill.

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Sigyn has rolled the question mark. That’s good for me, because it means I can tell her which animal she has to put on next. I could choose something really difficult…

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…but I love to see her smile, so I’ll tell her to put on the beaver. He seems very obliging.

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Oh, well done, Precious! My turn again. We are running low on animals, and some of them are real stinkers.

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Take this ankylosaurus, for example. No, really. Take it! Do I have any other choice? No, nothing better. Sigh. I’ll just have to see if I can get this heavy thing to balance up there.

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That was… predictable. You win, Sigyn! Well done! It just remains for Sigyn to kiss any boo-boos suffered and thank all the animals for their kind participation.

All of this gaming has given me quite an appetite. Let us go see what the refreshment table has to offer.

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