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¿Quienes son todas esas personas? (Sigyn habla, practicando su español)

Loki y yo todavía estamos confundidos porque comimos todos los dulces.  ¡Creo que él se comió su peso en Skittles, y sabes que nunca puedo decir “no” al chocolate!

Hoy estamos en el mercado, buscando alimentos saludables para comer.  Vamos, Loki, compremos algunas verduras y frutas.  Y no, las manzanas confitadas no cuentan.

¡Escucha! ¡Oigo musica! ¡Vamos a ver de dónde viene!

Aquí hay un grupo de hombres con grandes sombreros y instrumentos musicales.

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Siempre he querido aprender a tocar el acordeón. ¡Quizás este caballero me enseñe!  Loki no confía en ellos…

No sé cuál es la ocasión. Oh! ¡Quizás sea una boda!  Aquí están las damas de honor, y esa debe ser la novia y el novio.  ¿No es bonito su vestido?

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Sí, me gustaría estar en la foto.  ¡Gracias!

Oh Loki! Mira los perritos huesudos.  ¿Podemos llevarlos a casa y alimentarlos?

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Supongo que los invitados a la boda han devorado toda la comida, porque el gatito pobre también parece hambriento.

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¡En lugar de frutas y verduras, creo que hoy compraremos comida para mascotas!

: )

Predictable…

No visit to the Big City to the South would be complete without a visit to the Large Market.  I don’t really expect to find anything new or exciting, but Sigyn likes to talk to the fruit and flowers and sing little songs to the lobsters in the tank, both of which I find completely adorable, so it makes my day.

Sigyn says the label means these fruits speak French.

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“Bonjour Monsieur Banane! Vous avez l’air très ensoleillé aujourd’hui. C’est un jaune très flatteur.”

“Don’t worry, apples.”

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“The new crop will be coming in soon, but I’m sure someone will buy you before then.”

The store is decorated with semi-locally grown flowers today.

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Sigyn wants a boost so she can reach up and make the snapdragons actually snap.

They’re really pushing this sausage.    I wonder how hot it is?

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And if the humans would notice if I slipped it into their recipes?

Sigyn thinks this wine’s  goat label is cute.

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Nice horns, I must admit.

More goaty stuff:

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Fig and black pepper goat cheese?  That sounds just like the frou-frou sort of thing the humans would eat.  I bet they actually buy some.

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“Miss Peony, you’re sure looking cute!

“Your ruffly dress is a beaut!

“I certainly think

It’s a nice shade of pink!

And real comfy to sit in, to boot!”

My sweetie the poetess, ladies and gentlemen.
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Oh, If Only I *Could* Get Away

Sigyn and I are having a little getaway in the Big City to the South.  Unfortunately, this is not going to be anything like a vacation, mini or otherwise, because the humans are with us–and two of their friends as well.  Look, people, you are what I want to get away FROM. But still, the human male is driving, which means I don’t have to worry about Big City traffic, which is fine by me.

Wait!  Stop!  I cry foul!  No one told me that one of our stops was going to be a religious articles store.  Sweet glittering bifrost!  By the looks of this place, a Norse Deity is not going to be very welcome AT ALL.

Sigyn wants to look around, though, and I can deny her nothing.  Poke about all you want, sweetie.  I’ll just be over here, not touching anything.

Oh, it looks like she’s found a book just her size.

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Augh!  I can’t look!  No!  Please!  Buy it if you must, but don’t read it aloud–I beg you!

If I put my fingers in my ears close my eyes and say my own prayer, maybe it will be all right.

Heilla Loki! Blóðkonur Óðins. Sonur Farbauti og Laufey. Faðir Fenriswolf, og Jormungand. Félagi og borðfélagi Óðins og Æsis. Þjófur Brisingamen og epli Idunnar. Ættingi Sleipnis. Eiginmaður Sigyns. Óvinur guða. Hárið á Sif. Framleiðandi ógæfu. Fávíslegur guð. Ákærandi og tíkari guðanna. Stuðningsmaður dauða Balder! Hrósaðu réttmætum konungi í Ásgarði og höfðingja Midgarðs! Megi hjálmur þinn alltaf glitra og hornin þín eru áberandi.

Is she done yet?

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Revenge of the Flora, Part 11

<Bifrost noises>  Whooooosh!

“It would appear, brother, that we have arrived none too soon.”

“Shut up, Thor.  If I hadn’t been wasting time rushing to your aid, we’d have been first on the scene.”

“Truly, Loki, I did not need your help.  I did not ask for your help!  Curse these pestilent vegetables!  They told you I was in trouble and you believed them!”

“And what does it say about you, “brother“, that when I heard you’d fallen into a vat of pop-tart filling and were going to drown— or else explode from trying to eat your way out, I never for a moment wondered if it wasn’t true?”

“Let us cease this bickering.  There is warriors’ work to do.”

“On that, we agree.  Unhand my beloved, you ursa-rosa  miscreant!”

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Make me.”

With great pleasure.”

Allow me, brother.  I shall make quick work of this one—”

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“While I introduce this yellow horror to my friend Gungnir.  Muffy, duck!”

Zap!  

Augh!

“Sigyn!

“Loki!”

“Are you all right?”

“I’m okay.  <sniffle> Oh, Loki!  We were just walking and suddenly there they all were, and we tried to get away and—-”

“Hush, my beloved.  Don’t cry.  You are safe now.  T’Challa, will you guard my sweetheart and yours while I help finish off the rest of these fiends?”

“Their lives shall be as my own.”

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“I don’t need ‘guarding!’  Have you forgotten I run a martial arts studio?

“Andizange ndilibale, luthando lwam, kodwa nceda—ndivumele ukuba ndibe luncedo.”

Bang!

Pow!

Oof!

Thud!

“You’ve met Thor, you sorry sack of mildewing pot-pourri, Asgard’s own Golden Boy.  Now meet the black sheep of the family, the Bad Son, the one who’s going to turn you into mulch.”

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Zap!  Zap!  Zap, zap, zap! Zap-zap-zap-zap-zap-zap!”

<whine>

(to be continued…)

 

Revenge of the Flora, Part 10

Pow!

Whack!

“Augh!  Rosebear is up again!  I repeat–Rosebear is up again!

Thud!

Clang!

Zoooom!

<loud heavy metal music>

“Hey, Your Kittyness!  Looks like we’re both a little late to the party.”

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“Stark.”

“Looks like they could use our help.  From what I can see, Sigyn needs rescuing again, and Legolas is talking smack with a big peach.”

“Agreed.  We should help friend Hawkeye.  Good hunting, Stark.”

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“Grrr.  Elizweni lam, qhamo sazi indawo yaso.”

“Yo, Peach fuzz!  What’s your beef with my friends?”

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“Know what?  I don’t care.  You mess with my friends, you eat a repulsor blast.  Simple as that.”

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Zap!

“And now to play a little loves-me-loves me-not with Daisy Dukes over here.”

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“Wow.  Is that Rocket’s new ride?  Sweet!  I heard he was working on something.  I need to check that out–”

<Cap on comms>  “Stark!  Automotive geek out later, dammit!  Villain take-down now!

Language, Cap!”

Zoom!

Zap!

Pow!

(to be continued…)

Revenge of the Flora, Part 9

“Hey, Cap!  Heard you over the comms.  Need some help?”

“Sure thing, Widow.  I’ve got giant fruit bears over here and who knows what they’re capable of.”

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“Rocket!  Good job taking that rose-headed bear down!  Can you rescue Sigyn?”

“On it, Cap!”

“Cap–where do you want me?  I’m feeling a real need to wipe some smirks off some vegetation over here.”

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“Keep the daisies busy, Hawkeye, or see if you can get a handle on that giant peach.”

“You got it.  Man, stone fruit just should not be that big.”

“All right!   Time to make some masa out of this corn guy!”

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“And, um, Widow, did you do something new with your hair?”

“Yeah.  Not sure I’m going to keep it, though.”

“Looks good.”

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“We can swap beauty secrets later, Cap.  Right now I think I’ll whip up a little fruit salad. Хорошо, идиоты, кто из вас хочет умереть первым?”

(to be continued…)

私たちは生の魚の領土に戻ってきた

The humans have dragged us to the Big City to the West again, and wow–they have lost no time in rushing to the place with the sushi-go-round!  I would rather leave raw fish than take it, but Sigyn is excited.  She had such fun last time.

Remember, my love?  No riding the conveyor belt.  I mean it.  There’s no telling where you might end up, or who might snatch your cute little self off. Then I might have to hurt someone, and we’d get banned from ever coming back–and you know what that would mean:  No sesame balls full of sweet red bean goo.

You will just have to behave.

Speaking of… We seem to be beginning the same way we did last time.

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Grabby hands!  Sigyn thinks they are so soft and sweet that they’d be “comfy to snuggle down and rest in.”  Maybe?  At least you could have a little snack without having to get up and go to the kitchen.  Just turn your head and nibble…

Will wonders never cease!  The human female has ordered something different this time.  Fried…  Can you tell what it is, Sigyn?   Could be anything under that breading.

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(tentative taste)  Hmm.  Tastes like chicken.  Probably because it is chicken.   Not the best chicken I’ve ever had, but not bad.  Certainly no match for the tempura shrimp, though.

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Tails!  Tails are all that’s left.  You and I will have to order some shrimp of our own, Sigyn, because the glutton has left us just just the crustaceous hindmosts.

Just for that, human, I’m going to spoon a heaping helping of whatever-this-is on whatever you eat next.

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I saw you shudder as you shoved the little pot and spoon away from you, so I’m guessing it will make a very good mischief.

Well, many noshes and tidbits and morsels later, we have come nearly to the end of the gustatory excess.  There is *just* enough room left to squeeze in a bite of dessert.  Someone at the table has ordered these and is sharing.  Any idea what they are?  Whatever they are, they’re pale red and pale green, so we approve.

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Wait!  We’ve had these before, they just didn’t arrive vivisected like this.  MMMmmochi ice cream!!!  There hasn’t been something this yummy, small, cute, and sweet since Sigyn was born!

The human male has ordered something odd just because he’s intrigued by the photo on the menu.  The picture looks like a fried fish, but it says something about ice cream and it is listed with the desserts.  It should be zipping this way on the conveyor belt any moment.

And here it is!

It…It looks like a fried fish!   Sigyn confirms that it is, indeed, nestled in a bed of ice cream.  i have never seen such a thing and I am completely baffled.

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Human male: takes a bite

Me: stares

Human female:  takes a taste, squeals

Well, nail me to the front door and use me as a knocker!  Apparently this is, in fact, dessert!  The outside has the consistency of a waffle or a fried doughnut, and the innards are full of sweet red bean-paste!  In other words, it is a more highly-evolved form of sweet, beany goo delivery!

The human female now wants one of her very own.  However, everyone at the table is completely full, and there isn’t room in anyone’s tummy for so much as a fin.  See, human female?  If you’d shared the shrimp tempura earlier, you’d have room for a fish waffle now.  Serves you right.

台所の他のすべてのおいしい魚は別の日に泳ぐために生きます

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