Hawkeye

What They’ve All Been Up To, Part IV: Choose Your Enemies Wisely

No one has heard from Hawkeye (Clint Barton) is a while. If I know him, he’s probably off just practicing his archery. I hope he put some thought into his target and isn’t just shooting randomly.

Odin’s eyepatch! You’d better not be contemplating shooting my furry minion, birdbrain! I know your practice arrows are blunt, but they still sting. Norns’ nighties! People say *I’m* a villain!

Here’s everyone’s favorite green giant, the Hulk, to try to make nice with the other feline.

“Hulk hug!”

Uh, oh. That tail is a swishin’! Looks like Furry Minion #2 has had enough hugging!

Swat!

Not so much fun when you’re on the receiving end, huh, tough guy?”

Watching other people get into trouble gives me an appetite. I wonder if there’s anything good in the kitchen?

Looks like Marty the Mynah had the same idea. Bug-eyed birdie want a cracker?

>|: [

A Mischievous Milestone!

I’m pretty sure that since most humans are too busy to keep track of such things–and that some (like the human female) can’t count that high–none of the minions who read this ongoing record of my exploits have realized that, sometime in the last week, my journal has passed

TWO THOUSAND ENTRIES.

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Granted, some of them were brief announcements (often of the nature of “I didn’t do it” with a chuckle at some poor mortal’s misfortune), but I still feel this calls for some sort of recognition.

Gather, my adoring masses!  My ears await your paeans of praise!  Where are the armies marching in review?  Where are the fireworks? Where is my parade already?

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Ah, well.  At least there’s cake.

>|: [

Feel free to express your adulation in the comments!  Don’t leave me here with only the noise of Thor chewing.

The Only Thing Worse Than Costumes is a Party, Part I: Hail, Hail, the Gang’s All Here

Double ugh!  Extorting sweetmeats from the populace went well enough—with Sigyn’s wheelbarrow, we made quite a haul—and I was content with a productive evening.  But noooo!  Sigyn has wheedled and cajoled me into attending a partyForced socializing.

I’d rather chew broken glass.

I can only hope that the refreshments are good and that everyone else’s costume looks stupider than mine.

Looks like we’re some of the first to arrive.  The decorations leave a lot to be desired and I don’t see any refreshments at all.  I’m already ready to leave.

A: “Guten Abend, Sigyn!  Und guten Abend, Loki.”

S: “Doktor Arnold?  Remus?  Is that you?  Your costumes are so cute!”

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L:  “I’m glad to see you, Arnold.  Your silly bomb get-up makes my sparkly pajamas look downright dignified.”

S: “Tony!  That has to be you!  You make a fantastic Dalek!”

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TS: "Pepper wouldn't let me wear the Iron Man armor.  At least this way I 
still get to swan around in a red tin can."

hall-party3-exterminate

"EXTERMINATE!!"

hall-party4-here is steve

"Hey, Cap!  The party's this way!  Come on in!"

hall-party5-steves a pez

CA:  “Hi, guys.  Happy Halloween.”

S: “Hee hee hee hee!  Steve, you look so cute!”

L: “It’s official.  I’m in Hel.”

hall-party6-muffy and tchalla

S:  “T’Challa!  You’re a kitty!”

BP:  “Indeed. Greetings, Sigyn.  You look lovely.”

S:  “And Muffy!  You look great.  But who are you supposed to be?”

M: “I tried to think of the scariest person I know.  I’m Pepper Potts in CEO mode.”

hall-party7-remus

L: “Keep your paws off my cape, you loathsome primate.”

R: <chittering>

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CA: “Hey!  Great chicken get-up, Hawkeye!”

H: “Bwaaak!  And I brought the Spider Kid.”

SM/PP: “Hi, guys!  Look!  I’m a caterpillar!”

S: “And, Bruce!   You make a very convincing turtle.”

BB: “Yeah. It just seemed sort of natural to go with green.”

hall-party9-thor and rocket

L:  “Rocket. I should have known you’d turn up if there was food.  There isn’t any, actually, but here you are anyway.  I see you didn’t put a lot of effort into a costume.”

R: “What do you mean?  This is the perfect costume.  I’m R. J.  You know–the handsome one from Over the Hedge?”

L:  “And Thor.  Don’t think I don’t recognize you under all that fake squirrel fur.  Who or what are you supposed to be?”

T: “I am the mighty Hammer…er, Hammy, also from Over the Hedge.”

L: “And you thought “demented squirrel” was a good choice because—?”

T: “I was with Rocket and the costume shop was running a two-for special.”

L: “Norns’ nighties, Thor. You’re such an idiot.”

hall-party10-bucky in a hoodie

CA: “Bucky!  You made it!”

<snort!>  What's with the pink hoodie, Murder Boy?

BB:  “Left things ’til the last minute.  This was all they had.”

Well, it is very fetching.  I shall EXTERMINATE you last.

hall-party11-quill is pink

Everyone: “Quill!”  “Peter!”  “Star Lord!”

Q: “Wow.  Um.  I know this is… uh… a girly tennis Smurfette outfit or something, but…It’s dress-up day, right?  So I figured, go with an opposite, because I’m, uh, very manly and… Hey!  I brought a mix tape!  Anybody want to dance?”

L:  Someone please kill me now.

to be continued…

Revenge of the Flora, Part 9

“Hey, Cap!  Heard you over the comms.  Need some help?”

“Sure thing, Widow.  I’ve got giant fruit bears over here and who knows what they’re capable of.”

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“Rocket!  Good job taking that rose-headed bear down!  Can you rescue Sigyn?”

“On it, Cap!”

“Cap–where do you want me?  I’m feeling a real need to wipe some smirks off some vegetation over here.”

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“Keep the daisies busy, Hawkeye, or see if you can get a handle on that giant peach.”

“You got it.  Man, stone fruit just should not be that big.”

“All right!   Time to make some masa out of this corn guy!”

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“And, um, Widow, did you do something new with your hair?”

“Yeah.  Not sure I’m going to keep it, though.”

“Looks good.”

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“We can swap beauty secrets later, Cap.  Right now I think I’ll whip up a little fruit salad. Хорошо, идиоты, кто из вас хочет умереть первым?”

(to be continued…)

Do You Need Help, Brother?

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Vroooom!

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"Brother! It is good to see you! Do you require assistance?"

"What?! Thor?! What are you and your Avenger friends doing here?"

"We have been tracking your evil look-alike. He has caused a lot of mischief in this realm. Let us help you subdue him!"

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"I don’t NEED your help! And I don’t need you, Stark!"

"If you say so, Reindeer Games. Looks to me like this is standoff. And don’t you have a damsel in distress to rescue?"

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Hawkeye: "Personally, I don’t care if both of you kill one another. In my book, even one Loki is too many, but seriously, let us take this little stinker off your hands."

"Oh, thank you for the offer, but as you can see, the original has triumphed over the bad copy."

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"I will, however, let you take out the garbage. . . as soon as he tells me where Sigyn is."

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