I didn't do it–well not all of it

Let’s Play a Little Game

Mischief is my raison d’etre, my very dear hobby, and my middle name—no, really!  “Loki Mischief Laufeyson” is what it says on the tags in all my clothes.  Still, not everything can be laid at my doorstep.  Your job is to figure out which of the following are my pranks and which are someone else’s doing.

  1.  All of the human female’s rubber bands are brittle and break-y, and all of the paperclips are conjugating.

rubberbands

2.  One of the Christmas mousies is already minus a tail

mousetail

3.  Glass + tile countertop = smash

anotherbrokenglass

4.   A really Texan, really stupid way to announce,”It’s a boy/girl!”

gunreveal

5.  And if you don’t have a gun to do number 4, you could win one!

abbotgun

6.  Pretty sure the sign for the shocky-thing should not be on the floor.

defibrillator

7.  The break-room fridge makes wicked, pointy ice cubes!

weird ice

8.  This plan for a busy local intersection, which will eventually feature the  Diverging Diamond of Death and about a million opportunities for collision.

9.  A couple of fun little bugs:

spectre

10.  And finally…

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  1.  Totally me
  2. Not me.  Probably Taffy
  3. Me again
  4. The explosion part is cool, but the whole idea is so stupid, only a mortal could have thought it up
  5. This one’s on the Governor
  6. Me
  7. Also me
  8. This one scares even me.  Blame TexDOT
  9. Can’t pin this on me, but oh, the schadenfreude!
  10. Oh, sure, blame the Frost Giant!  Since the human female was not personally affected by the horrible winter weather, you can assume it wasn’t me.  Wait until the weather goes to Hel when it’s time for her to order termites and then we’ll revisit the question!

Getting Sucked Into Another Hobby, Part IV: Look What She Found

The human female has just remembered that, somewhere, she has a calligraphy fountain pen with a whole assortment of nibs.  She is off to go poking about in the “craft room” to see if she can find it.  (That room has so many UFO’s—unfinished objects—that it’s become known as Area 51.)

Well, would you look at that.  She actually found it!  I’m impressed.

box1

This could be fun to play with, don’t you think, Sigyn?

box2

Oh.  Sorry.  Not for left-handers, apparently.  But we can at least look at what’s inside, right?  Maybe there’s an instruction booklet or some old samples or something.

distinctivehand

Huh. The human female already has a distinctive hand.  That constellation of age spots is unmistakable.  (As is the scar from where she caught it on a chain-link fence while shagging tennis balls for a friend–when there was a gate not twenty feet away.  Brilliant she is not.)

lokiscript

I am more used to runes, but I will admit this Roman hand has a certain bold appeal.

sigynscript

Sign likes something a little more flowery.

Look at all the nibs. Do you know, I don’t think they’re all from the same set–some have a gold ring and some don’t.

nibs1

And they’re not all clean, either.  Someone put them away inky years ago.  Look–the human male has put them to soak and think about their sins.

nibs4

Very naughty, indeed.  (And since this was long before my advent on this planet, there is no use blaming me.  I didn’t do it.)

Here’s what I need for that Roman hand.

nibs2a

Sigyn has the long, pointy nib that the human female would need for her Copperplate writing.

nibs3

Hooray!  Now she doesn’t need to buy an expensive fountain pen to do her thing, because she already has one!  What good luck!  What thrift!  What enterprise!

doesnotfit

What a pity that once it’s screwed into the handle the cap doesn’t fit.

Ehehehehehe…

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Mischief update

I’ve been fairly busy. Nothing major, you understand. Just enough to let the human female and her cohorts know that I’m not to be trifled with. Mischief level 6.

The Great Temperature Wars at the workplace rage on. I’m still knocking out the heating and/or cooling at least once per week. This week, I took the chillers off-line, so things got very warm. When the Fixers came to Fix things, whatever they did made some sort of unsettling burning-electrics smell. Such odors make the building’s occupants more than slightly skittish, so this is how we spent the last hour of the workday:

m0qKuriGF6y4Jl8LL2ApQpsqQopN1LKYcXY3W_Q44OE=w850-h516-no

The human female, officious wench that she is, derived a great deal of pleasure from telling passersby that they could not go down the sidewalk because there was a Fire Emergency of indeterminate origin in the building.

On another day, I may have dropped a whisper in a student”s ear that this simple item of lab equipment:

forceps.jpg

When introduced into an electrical socket, produces an exciting noise and a lovely light show. They ALWAYS end up trying it, resulting in more unsettling burning-electrics smells.

This was not my doing: http://www.kbtx.com/home/headlines/Texas-AM-Data-Breach-Leaves-Thousands-at-Risk–296337441.htmlhttp://www.kbtx.com/home/headlines/Texas-AM-Data-Breach-Leaves-Thousands-at-Risk–296337441.html. However, as irate as the faculty are and as much trouble as they are having with little things like filing income taxes and combating identity theft, I think I may have to brush up on my hacking skills, as the Return on Investment, mischief-wise, appears to be very great for this sort of thing.

But I was responsible for some domestic trouble. This morning, I induced the feline to hop up on the coffee table (strictly forbidden) and leave something more than a cat-bum-print upon a freshly written letter to the humans’ friend in a foreign realm. Her after-hours howling is going very well, too.

I have sown weeds in the front lawn, helped one of the human female’s favorite houseplants to that great compost bin in the sky, and altered the contents of two library books so that what looked like an interesting read in the library turned out to be–what’s the term the human female uses?– ah, yes: “drek.”

It is the season for “floppies,” large, awkwardly-flapping insects which blunder in and bounce around each evening. They can get in through any open door or window, and I do like to be hospitable. The feline finds them fun to chase, and I am often rewarded with the pounce-gobble-barf sequence that annoys the humans most.

That’s about it. I think I’ll go buy something inappropriate from an online auction using her ID and password. I’m thinking bright green, sequins, and a death metal band logo…

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