I like a little hops but IPA is nasty

A Midgardian Holiday I understand and fully support

It has come to my attention that today, April 7 by the Midgardian calendar, is National Beer Day. This I can get behind. I may not quaff whole hogsheads at a sitting the way Thor and Volstagg do, but I do like a good, cold brew from time to time.

Thusly, I am at the local market, perusing the malty offerings to find an appropriate beverage with which to celebrate.

I saw this one first and admired the label art, but it reminded me a bit too much of some unpleasant people* I know back "home" in Asgard…


Plus, Double IPA? Too hoppy.

One of these aptly-named ales might do…


Hmmm. I don’t know. Perhaps this is more "me"…


I do have a certain roguish charm, but I am most assuredly not dead. I shall keep looking.

Aha! THIS one. Appropriately named for multiple reasons!


So there, Odin. What’s it say down there in the tiny letters? ""You Shall Free the Bastard, and the Bastard Shall Set You Free." Hmmmm. Nnnnnah. I want to be free, of course, but I can think of simply scores of people whom I’d adore to see behind bars for whole geologic eras…


Got it.


If I had a penny for every time I wanted to say that to Thor and his stupid hammer, I’d have enough to buy a thousand breweries’ worth of beer and the kegs to put it in.

A toast, on this National Day of Beer: "Here’s to sorrow: all for you and none for me. Here’s to joy: all for me and none for you. Here’s to laughter: all at you and all by me. Here’s to drink: enough for me and enough for you—to have a really nasty hangover in the morning."

>|: [

*I dated one of them for a little while, hundreds of years ago.  She broke it off and then spread it around that I dumped her, and since then she and all her bitchy sisters have really had it in for me. Jumped-up tavern wenches, all of them.