Ice Cubes of Shame

I Swear I Had No Idea…

I know no one will believe me, but I really had no idea this would happen.

Look, broken stuff!


You see, it was all mostly very innocent. Last evening, the human female got up off her ponderous backside and tackled the pig-pile that was the craft room.  She actually managed to dig down to the carpet (spoiler: it’s beige) and the closet doors now close, so she was justifiably pleased with herself.

Now, hefting boxes of fabric and tip-toeing amidst piles of books and scattered art supplies can be warm work.  She had the air-conditioning vents open and even went so far as to turn on the ceiling fan (something she almost never does.)

Anyone with half a brain can see where this is heading.  Well, apparently the human female has less than half a brain, because when she finished her task and I reminded her to close the AC vents, Queen Feckless of Gormlessland stood on the chair and reached for the vent lever…

without remembering that the fan was on.

As all the gods of all the Realms are my witnesses, I only meant for her to rap her knuckles on the fan and so Acquire Wisdom, but there was a Very Loud Noise, accompanied by a a small cry and some shouting from the human male.  It was soon apparent that a)  The fan had caught the human female right across the delicate bone of her right forearm, b) the impact sheared the fan blade off and sent it hurtling across the newly tidy room, and c) the pull-chain on the fixture had come off in the human male’s hand.  The two of them stood there staring, not knowing whether to be more concerned about the injury or the prospect of a lopsided, drunken-wobbly fan that could not be shut off.

It was at this point that I made a quiet, diplomatic exit from the scene.

They must have “worked the problem,” as Midgardians put it, because the human male came out and put the now-free-range fan blade into the trash


and the human female sat for quite some time with Ice Cubes of Shame wrapped up in a towel and pressed against the point of impact.

She seems mostly fine today.  It didn’t even leave a visible bruise (though she would be quick to tell you it hurts quite a bit.)

I guess “buy and hang new ceiling fan in the craft room” goes on the to-do list, yes?

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