it’s so fluffy i could die!

Maximum Daily Allowance of “Country”, Part II: The Inexplicable

This restaurant chain is famous not only for its hashbrown casserole but for the “Country Store” attached to each one. Now, I wasn’t born on this rock, so correct me if I’m wrong, but wouldn’t you expect a “Country Store” to carry basic groceries, farm and garden supplies, fence posts, baling wire, and maybe some dry goods like calico and denim?

Snort! No. This here Em-po-ree-um is a temple to the God of Stuff No One Needs But Which A Certain Sort of Person Likes.

All that is unusual, extremely colorful, or just plain inexplicable is to be found here.

Case in point, Instead of a homespun frock for a young lass, there is this:

Sigyn is entranced by the rainbow color and the sparkles and the organza. I think it looks like the Bifrost threw up.

Dearest, do you want toucans? Because they have toucans.

They would certainly make any meal more colorful, but how are they “country”? Unless, of course, your country is a small banana-laden entity in the Southern Hemisphere, in which case, spot-on.

This set of condiment shakers is even more bizarre.

But I don’t know everything. Maybe there is someone somewhere with an undersea-themed china pattern who desperately needs a set of squid-and-puffer fish shakers.

Sigyn thinks that if we are doing fish-themed, she would like this very much.

But what is it? I think it might be a purse, but in this place, anything is possible. It could be a grits-cozy.

My beloved’s magpie eye has been snared by a very glittery spacecraft.

And it’s electric, so the glittery goo swirls and eddies shimmers and it’s hypnotic and…. Look away, dearest, look away!

Great Frigga’s Corset! This brilliant bromeliad is not much better.

This truck is definitely less glittery.

But the driver looks as if he has only one destination in mind. Uh, no thank you on that lift, my good sir.

Shhh… Sigyn, do you hear that? What is that soft, weirdly hypnotic snoring sound? Sigyn? Sigyn where’d you go?!

“It’s so fluffy!”

Sweetie, we do not need a battery-operated fake sleeping and snoring puppy. We have two kibble-operated real sleeping and snoring felines at home.

I’m going to go look over at that shelf of medicines and cosmetics. Oh, ho, ho, what have we here?

Badger balm. You know. For if your “badger” is achy or has trouble sleeping.

Sigyn, I think I have had enough badgers and squid and glitter and things that light up but shouldn’t. Are you ready to go? Sigyn?

Sigyn?! Now where did she get off to?

Ah. Worshipping at the altar of fudge.

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The Crimson Motherlode

The human female and her mother are fabriholics  fabricholics hoarders of textiles.  They both say that they’re going to make quilts with their “stashes,” but only the mother really manages to complete anything larger than a baby quilt.

Nonetheless, here are the human female, her mother, and her sister, ogling the goods in a local fabric emporium.

quiltshop2

I think Sigyn has found her favorite part of the store…

There are plenty of bolts of printed goods, along with quite a few batiks.

quiltshop1

I am not sure what a “batik” is, but they are apparently a “good thing,” with a “smooth hand”, a “close, fine weave,” and a “faintly exorbitant price.”

Oh, Great Frigga’s garters!  I thought Sigyn was having fun fondling all the cottons, but she’s found something she likes even better.   She is now grombling the minky.

quiltshop3

Sweetie?  Sweetie, let me buy you a yard or two of your own.  The nice people here at the store can’t sell a bolt that has been drooled on…

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Zooward, Ho!, Part VII: Afters

Well, I managed to put all the animals back together.

To be truthful, I did have a few bits and pieces left over.  Ears, mostly, along with a hoof or two, and something that might be part of a tail.  I think I’ll leave them in the human female’s sock drawer.  That ought to be good for a laugh, don’t you think?

Still I had no complaints from the animals, so all’s well that ends well.

Sigyn, assured that all her furry friends are safe and sound, and presented with a restorative strawberry slushie from the concessions stand, is feeling decidedly more cheerful.

afters-slushie

Our last stop today was the gift shop.  I purchased a guidebook to snakes of the world, and Sigyn has acquired a plush souvenir of the day’s activities.  Now we can have a nice stroll home, enjoying the sunset on the lake.

afters-giftshop

No, Sigyn, I won’t carry Peanuts.  If you’re going to beg for a stuffed animal bigger than you, you are going to get to lug it home all by yourself.

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