She’s Actually Going to Try It.

I don’t believe it.  The human female, disregarding the indisputable statistics regarding prior efforts in the garden, has taken her birthday money to the nursery and purchased sacrificial victims and is planting them.

I’m not saying the flower beds around the house couldn’t do with some sprucing up.  Oh, they most certainly could, but there’s not enough sprucing on Midgard to turn this


into anything respectable.  Yes, the lawn is looking green, but that’s just WEEDS.

Come, Sigyn, let us meet the new arrivals before their too-brief tenancy is over.

We have some blue plumbago.  Careful, dearest.  The little hairs around the flowers are very, very sticky!


It’s pretty, but blue is not really my color.


Ah. I like green. The human female says this nondescript shrub will grow up to have hundreds of little, pale-pink flowers.  I won’t like it as much then, but I have hopes that the bees it will draw will prove vexacious to the humans.


Oh, Sigyn, look at this one!  The tag says, “flowering quince.”  It won’t get very large, but you will enjoy those flowers, won’t you?  No, I don’t know what you call that color.  It’s not really red, it’s not pink, and it isn’t truly coral or salmon.  In the end, I suppose it scarcely matters, as it is sure to lose what blossoms it possesses and die before we have to worry about it next year.

The human female has remembered that you like butterflies and bought some lantana, which she says will attract them.


Gold, which I prefer,


and red-and-yellow for you!  I still owe her for my missing dagger, but since she has purchased in our colors, maybe I won’t smite these…

>|: [


A Guide to the Campus Flora, Part IV: The Human Female Reveals the Cosmic Vastness of Her Ignorance

We’re not yet done looking at flowers.  I think I hear a nap calling me, but Sigyn’s still having fun.




This next one’s not so good for swinging, but I suppose it is nice, if lavender is your “thing.”


Careful, dearest!  You almost walked right into a whole bouquet!

Now my sweetie is taking a little rest in this shrub.  What kind is it, Sigyn?


Ha!  We have stumped the human female!  She thought it might be a Viburnum, but it is not!  She is WRONG!!!  That doesn’t happen often when it’s plants.  But, Pffft!  Everyone knows Viburnum has opposite leaves.

You know, any day that sees the human female looking like an idiot is a good one in my book!

>|: ]

A May Walk, Part I:

Finals are over, the hideous backpack is fading into memory (though that rubber bug will haunt my nightmares for some time to come), and the weather is actually rather pleasant (only three quarters of an inch of rain today!), so I predict that Sigyn and the human female will want to go walkabout and do what they call "botanizing."

Aaaand here they are, proposing just that. The mortal desires to hunt for a specific sort of "yucky plant" in the local wilderness park. Sounds…thrilling. But I could do with some fresh air. By all means, let us proceed.

The big flush of spring wildflowers is past, but the late-spring flora is fascinating in its own right–or at least, Sigyn thinks so.


I think we can all agree that if there is one thing Sigyn knows, it is how to choose posies to complement her coloring. She assures me that she spent hours cutting the fringey border on this firewheel with her little scissors. Riiiight.

Yow. This plant has BRIGHT flowers. The human female says that it is not native. It has been planted here in the butterfly garden near the park entrance because butterflies like to sip the nectar.


I tasted some. They can keep it. (And the foliage smells icky too.) However, it is not the "yucky" plant we came to find, so we are moving on.

Sigyn is quite taken with this pink prairie gentian. She usually likes to climb plants, but this one’s stem is so slender that it won’t bear even her tiny weight. Mortal! Hold this blossom so that my beloved my inspect it.


It has a teensy cousin that is just as pink.


Ow! Sigyn’s "squee" of unfeigned delight was so high-pitched that she probably has the attention of every dog within a ten-mile radius.

So where is this yucky plant the human female needs to investigate? Supposedly it hangs out in dry, open, grassy areas. Not much is dry out here right now, but up ahead is an open grassy area. Shall we look there?


Thaaaaar she blows! (I have not the least idea why, but this is something Midgardians often say. I thought I’d try saying it. It is silly and I won’t be saying it again.)

The flowery bit at the top is very climbable and not at all yucky. Once again, the human female is mistaken.


The human female is busy peering and measuring and making notes so that she can tell just which species it is.


She says it is "pollinated by moths whose eggs hatch into caterpillars that eat the seeds." That seems counter-productive, wouldn’t you say? She also says it has "anthers that glow under ultraviolet light" and that you "can make soap out of it." For the sake of my sanity, is there any way to turn off this rambling, sleep-deprived, gushing spigot of botanical trivia?

>|: [