NDAVPN

Alas! All Good Things Must Come to an End

I wrote back in February about the elephantine order placed with the Vendor Who’s Responsible near the end of last December.   You’ll recall that two line items were unavailable from the warehouse to which the PO was initially distributed.  The Vendor Who’s Responsible not having any method of switching the order to one of its better-stocked warehouses, the VWR put them on indefinite back-order and did not inform the human female.  Eventually, she caught wise, called them up, cancelled those items, and ordered viable substitutes.

Another of the back-ordered items was a chemical known as sodium carbonate.  It’s a very necessary substance because it does mumble-something in the important whoosits reaction.  

The human female’s sodium carbonate didn’t come and it didn’t come—and then it didn’t come some more.  She had reached the point of needing it, so she ordered some from a different vendor (the one with the truly insanity-inducing hold “music” of six bars of perky whistling followed by an announcement about how all of their packaging is changing, followed by six bars of perky whistling followed by an announcement about how all of their packaging is changing, followed by six bars of perky whistling followed by an announcement about how all of their packaging is changing, followed by six bars of perky whistling followed by an announcement about how all of their packaging is changing, followed by six bars of perky whistling followed by an announcement about how all of their packaging is changing, followed by six bars of perky whistling.  (I designed that one myself, and I’m pretty proud of it.))

Well, that order did come, and the sodium carbonate got used, and the human female and her minions were beginning to think the original order from the VWR would NEVER come, but look what showed up the other day!

sodium carbonate

500 grams of mischief well-managed!  And it only took 125 days!  Just 34.25% of a standard Midgardian year!  I call that service!

You might think that this means that the elephantine order can finally be closed out.  But no!  Line item 15, the gellan gum, an agar-like substance that is used to grow those tiny Arabidopsis plants in petri dishes, still has not come.  The human female thought she was being clever and saving money by ordering the generic form of this goop, but she didn’t reckon on my involvement.

Oh, it was glorious.  The packing slips from the elephantine order are so convoluted, with not-present items listed in each separate shipment and various minions’ checking-in notations, that she THOUGHT the gum powder had arrived.  By the time she realized it hadn’t, she needed it “yesterday” and had to order the non-generic formula from the manufacturer with a rush freight charge that would make a nice down-payment on a small condo.  

Today she is on the phone with the Vendor Who’s Responsible, asking if her original December order, which had since been back-ordered to April 15 of this year, is EVER going to come.  Ehehehehe!  She’s finding out that “April 15” means NDAVPN*.  Now she’s cancelling the Infamous Line Item 15, using the tone she reserves for Disappointing Vendors, the one that’s a mixture of sweetness and sarcasm with a heaping measure of scorn, ground out through gritted teeth as she tries not to take it out on customer service operators who have no control over what does–or does not– get shipped.

So, yes, the elephantine order is finally all accounted for, with the human female older, grayer, sadder, and perhaps a bit wiser.  I know that the purchasing software never uses the same PO number twice, but if they did, I still think they’d have to retire this one.  Farewell, good old AB043271F.  I’ll miss you.

But am I sad?  Am I discouraged?  Of course not!  It’s time to do the big orders for the summer and fall!

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*”no date available; very possibly never.”

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