no phone call about a doctor bill takes fewer than three phone calls

If A Letter Could Talk, This One Would Say, “Ow.”

Hmm. What mischief shall I get up to today?

I know! It has been a while since I mischiefied the post in a significant manner. (I did make sure one of the human female’s parcels went astray, but wouldn’t you know? The person to whom it was misdelivered just brought it by. Spoiled all my fun.)

Here you go, wench. This came for you today.

It’s from your Friendly Neighborhood Healthcare Provider and looks Very Official. It also looks as if it went a few rounds with the same folks that handle airline baggage. If they had to tape the outside all back together, what in the Nine Realms is the inside going to look like? (I just made the suggestion that they have fun with it; I left the specifics up to them, and they appear to have come through in spades.)

Great Frigga’s Hairpins!

It is a check! Or, rather, half a check and another half a check. The human female is going to have to try to tape it back together without interfering with the magnetic routing and check numbers on the bottom. And wouldn’t it be funny if the bank processed it in two payments of seven dollars and 41.5 cents each?

Also, you can be sure I am not done having fun with this yet! The check is for an oddly specific amount–fourteen dollars and eighty-three cents. It says it’s for “overpayment,” but the documentation on the inside of the front says “Admission date 3/12/2022” and “Discharge date 3/12/2022”, and the human female hasn’t been anywhere near a hospital or clinic at all this month, so she has no clue what it’s for. I’m going to get to watch her waste part of a day trying to get someone to tell her what the check is really all about and determine if it’s something she’s just going to have to turn around and repay when all the various groups of bean counters have finished comparing notes.

Stay tuned…

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