nom nom nom

Must Be Something in the Water

Most of us here in this house are a big fan of fresh blueberries. Sigyn and the human female are an even bigger fan of big blueberries.

Which is why they were overjoyed when the male brought home these monsters from a recent visit to the market.

(poke, poke, poke) This is either a new cultivar or the grower is feeding them something… untoward.

The larger ones are fully an inch across…

…and about a third of a Sigyn tall.

>|: [

Loki and Sigyn in the Kitchen: Salad Time!

The humans have been whining again–“It’s too hot for March!” Look, mortals–A month ago you were moaning about Fimbulwinter. Make up your puny minds! If you want it cold again, I can arrange that for you…

Because it’s warm, and because it is another no-meat day, the humans are in the kitchen making salads for dinner. You know, Sigyn, we help out in here enough that we should have a new category for this blog: Loki and Sigyn in the Kitchen!

First, we should wash the spinach and take the stemmy bits off.

The human female says they’re properly “petioles” and not “stems.” Pedant.

Spinach, romaine… What else?

Cucumber! Definitely cucumber!

And carrots! Sigyn really likes carrots because orange is red and yellow together. What else?

Artichokes! Good choice! The human male likes them more than the female does, but I will happily eat the rest of her share. Let’s put in some tomatoes too. Now what?

Oooh! Fancy! The human male won’t want any, but the rest of us like them! And that gives me an idea. If the human female likes peppers…

…she won’t mind if I slice this one up and put it in her bowl. It’s so tiny, after all. She’ll never notice...

That’s all the rabbit food taken care of. Is there going to be any protein in this salad?

Odin’s eyepatch! Goat cheese?! Fig and black pepper goat cheese? I’m not sure about this…

Oh, now the goat is offended? No offense meant, goat. It’s just that I never thought of goat cheese as a salad item.

Of course Sigyn is making friends with the goat.

Well, that was predictable. Sigyn, love of my life, when you are done dallying with your caprine companion there, we have salads to construct. And I hear there’s a balsamic reduction to drizzle over them…

Sigyn, we make a great team! This looks delicious! Now, let’s get to the croutons before the human female hogs them all…

>|: 9

We Found Treasure on a Walk!

The weather has definitely improved. It is still warmer than optimum for a Frost Giant, but we are no longer flirting with triple digits, and the mornings are cool enough that our daily perambulations are no longer a penance.

The shift in the seasons can bring new things into prominence in the local flora. I wonder what we’ll find today?

We are down at one edge of the neighborhood. Not much interesting so far. This is–

Wait.

What tree is that?

It looks as if it is growing a whole crop of burnt orange superballs!

Ah. The human female says that this is one of the locally-native persimmon trees. We have run into this plant in the woods before. There are quite a few in the neighborhood, but I don’t recall any with fruit. I think I would have notice something like this before, don’t you, Sigyn?

Sigyn, stop! No, it’s not that I care whether you steal fruit from other people’s trees. Pfft. As far as I’m concerned, you could take all you want. No, it’s that while the fruits on the tree may look ripe and delicious, remember what the human female said—they’re not edible until after a frost or unless they’ve ripened enough to fall from the tree on their own. Otherwise, they’re very astringent and eating one is like trying to eat dry felt.

The ground under these two trees is littered with windfalls just lying there unappreciated. Is the human female going to…? She is! She is! She has gathered up a double handful. Ehehehehe! I always suspected she had a little larceny in her!

Poke, poke, poke. They’re so…soft… and squishy.

Like barely-contained pudding… What do they look like inside?

Orange, all the way through, and gooey. Sigyn’s going to taste one.

(nom nom nom) She says they taste like, “a combination of apricot, pumpkin, and mango.” In other words, they taste orange. (nibble, nibble…) They’re very sweet–much like dates in that regard. Not bad. Not bad at all. No wonder all the wildlife love them!

There are five big, flat seeds in each fruit. The human female, having long desired a tree or two in her yard, purposes, after eating the fruits, to wash the seeds and plant them.

Here’s where I come in. Persimmon trees are either male or female and, of course, only the females bear fruit. In the wild, male trees significantly outnumber the females. What do you suppose her chances are, if all of these seeds come up, that one of the trees will be female?

Let me rephrase that. If I am involved, what do you suppose her chances are of getting a female tree?

Or will she continue to being reduced to stealing the neighbors’ fruit?

>|: [

Keep Eating Like That and The Bao Is Not The Only Thing That Is Going To Be Fat

A trip to the Big City to the South means the chance to eat cuisine not available in the hometown.  The humans have a few places they like to go.  Today, we are back at the place that serves the folded pillowy bread things.

Sigyn is quite fond of the Spring Chicken Bao if the very hot stuff is left off.

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I, on the other hand, have my eye on that mountain of fries smothered in bulgogi.

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Nom nom nom.  Come to Loki!

Great Frigga’s Corset!  Sigyn has caught her sleeve on something and torn off a portion!

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Are you all right, my love?  You are not injured?  Clothes may be replaced, but your welfare is of the utmost importance!

I am much relived to see that my Sigyn is unscathed.  This neighborhood is rife with boutiques.  Come, perhaps we will find something in one of them that you like.

>|: [

Not All Bunnies and Flowers, Part II: A Stupid Word for a Delicious Cookie

Sigyn and the human female did finally get around to using the colored sugar on actual cookies.  

They chose to make the kind called “Spritz.”  “Spritz.”  What a silly word!  Sounds like “spits,” which did NOT make me want to sample them.

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The recipe called for a specific sort of shortening.  I had hopes of watching the human female struggle with measuring spoons and cups and getting all greasy, but she had a stash of the fancy-fancy kind that comes pre-measured.

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Cheating, that’s what it is!

They needed four eggs.  A co-worker had given the human female some from his chickens.

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They came in almost as many colors as the sugar they dyed!  I liked the pale green one.

Eggs, sugar, shortening.  A promising start.

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The recipe called for almond flavoring and lemon juice.  The human female asked if I’d get the lemon nice and juicy.

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Fact:  Kicking a lemon is the best way to do that.

Salt, baking powder, and multiple cups of flour.

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I tried to distract the human female so she’d miscount the cups of flour and make either puddles or bricks, but sadly, she counted accurately.

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I wondered how the cookies were going to be shaped.  The human female doesn’t have the patience required for cutout cookies.

I was intrigued by this gadget.

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The human female called it a cookie gun, which intrigued me even more!  The intersection of cookery and weapons could only be good.

The cookie gun came with a selection of disks, each of which produced a different shape cookie.  Squirt out cookies, then sprinkle with sugar–that seemed to be the method of production.

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I was glad to see that not a lot of sugar ended up on each cookie.  They weren’t as gaudy as I’d feared.  (Though I think blue is still a weird color for food.)

Sigyn and the human female made lavender-sprinkled ovals.

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And pink-sprinkled flowers.

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I used a little magic to make sure that all the parts of the flower ones didn’t exactly coalesce properly.

So there was more than a bit of cookie carnage. 

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Ehehehe!  No one was going to mind if I ate these up later.  And, I must admit, they tasted remarkably good.

I also saw to it that the food coloring made the sugar a little damp, so it didn’t sprinkle evenly and a lot was wasted.  Couldn’t have everything go smoothly, could I?

More cookies.

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And more cookies.  Eventually, Sigyn and the human female grew bored of making cookies in a single color and started getting fancy. 

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As predicted, the yellow sugar turned out not to show up on the cookies, and they ended up tinting it a pale orange instead.  They put it on the butterflies and said they were “monarchs.”

All told, they made about twenty-dozen, not counting the ones I ate.

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They took them to a party.  The human female ended up bringing home a dozen and a half or so.  I was tickled she ended up with so few after so much work and trust me, she does not need to be eating any cookies at all.

All that remains is for me to make sure the large amount of leftover colored sugar cakes up in the bottles so that it can’t readily be used again.

Oh, and eat the ones I stashed away.

>|: [

In Which Infiltrate Another Branch of the United States Government

It’s been strongly suspected by many for a while that I have a hand in the running of the Infernal Revenue Service.  (I’ve been slowly and steadily siphoning funds for my takeover of the realm.)  Now I am ready to announce openly that I have taken control of Usually Smashes Parcel Significantly .

And the mail-sorting equipment is functioning juuuuust the way I want…

mangled mail

>|: [

Just To Be Sure

I admit it:  I’m obsessing over our latest cherry-pull.  I won.   Or at least, I think I did.

Maybe I did?

I’m still not 100% sure Sigyn didn’t rig the whole thing.  What do you call that?  Reverse cheating?  Throwing the match?  Humoring me?

I think want a rematch.  And this time, no patty-fingers with the cherries beforehand, if you please!

Now we just have to see if there are any more twin cherries…   Sigyn, are there—

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Oh!

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Oh my…

>|: o

Pressies from Far Places, Part II: Curious Comestibles

The human female, greedy thing that she is, REALLY likes it when people bring her foreign goodies.  Today she is fantastically excited because someone has brought her a box of sweets.  Where are they from, Sigyn?

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Oh.  India!  Interesting–I have heard they make delectable things with milk.  Hurry, human!  Open it!

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Looks like three sorts of what the mortals call “fudge.”  (We do not have fudge on Asgard.  I think the reason is that no one there has the patience for all of that stirring. Frigga, maybe, but she was always watching her figure.)  Mmmm!  Smell the almonds, cashews, and cardamom!  (I shall finally find out if I like cardamom!)

आप कैंडी चोरी करते समय सभी कैलोरी बाहर गिर जाते हैं।

Someone else has given the human female a packet of little cakes.  Did you know that Midgardians have fought wars over whether these should be called cookies or biscuits?  Sigyn, while they engage in vocabularial fisticuffs, let us explore the contents of this packet.

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Sniff..  Ahh.    I do like lemon!  Give me just a moment while I draw one out…

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If someone was paid for icing this cookie evenly, his employer was robbed.

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Look at that uneven distribution of confectionery!  Disgraceful.  The human female is sure to notice it and complain.  Let us forestall her caterwauling and do away with the offending morsel entirely before she comes back.

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