nom nom nom

Keep Eating Like That and The Bao Is Not The Only Thing That Is Going To Be Fat

A trip to the Big City to the South means the chance to eat cuisine not available in the hometown.  The humans have a few places they like to go.  Today, we are back at the place that serves the folded pillowy bread things.

Sigyn is quite fond of the Spring Chicken Bao if the very hot stuff is left off.

fatbao2

I, on the other hand, have my eye on that mountain of fries smothered in bulgogi.

fatbao1

Nom nom nom.  Come to Loki!

Great Frigga’s Corset!  Sigyn has caught her sleeve on something and torn off a portion!

fatbao3

Are you all right, my love?  You are not injured?  Clothes may be replaced, but your welfare is of the utmost importance!

I am much relived to see that my Sigyn is unscathed.  This neighborhood is rife with boutiques.  Come, perhaps we will find something in one of them that you like.

>|: [

Not All Bunnies and Flowers, Part II: A Stupid Word for a Delicious Cookie

Sigyn and the human female did finally get around to using the colored sugar on actual cookies.  

They chose to make the kind called “Spritz.”  “Spritz.”  What a silly word!  Sounds like “spits,” which did NOT make me want to sample them.

spritz1

The recipe called for a specific sort of shortening.  I had hopes of watching the human female struggle with measuring spoons and cups and getting all greasy, but she had a stash of the fancy-fancy kind that comes pre-measured.

spritz8

Cheating, that’s what it is!

They needed four eggs.  A co-worker had given the human female some from his chickens.

spritz10

They came in almost as many colors as the sugar they dyed!  I liked the pale green one.

Eggs, sugar, shortening.  A promising start.

spritz11

The recipe called for almond flavoring and lemon juice.  The human female asked if I’d get the lemon nice and juicy.

spritz9

Fact:  Kicking a lemon is the best way to do that.

Salt, baking powder, and multiple cups of flour.

spritz12

I tried to distract the human female so she’d miscount the cups of flour and make either puddles or bricks, but sadly, she counted accurately.

spritz13

I wondered how the cookies were going to be shaped.  The human female doesn’t have the patience required for cutout cookies.

I was intrigued by this gadget.

spritz14

The human female called it a cookie gun, which intrigued me even more!  The intersection of cookery and weapons could only be good.

The cookie gun came with a selection of disks, each of which produced a different shape cookie.  Squirt out cookies, then sprinkle with sugar–that seemed to be the method of production.

spritz15

I was glad to see that not a lot of sugar ended up on each cookie.  They weren’t as gaudy as I’d feared.  (Though I think blue is still a weird color for food.)

Sigyn and the human female made lavender-sprinkled ovals.

spritz16

And pink-sprinkled flowers.

spritz17

I used a little magic to make sure that all the parts of the flower ones didn’t exactly coalesce properly.

So there was more than a bit of cookie carnage. 

spritz18

Ehehehe!  No one was going to mind if I ate these up later.  And, I must admit, they tasted remarkably good.

I also saw to it that the food coloring made the sugar a little damp, so it didn’t sprinkle evenly and a lot was wasted.  Couldn’t have everything go smoothly, could I?

More cookies.

spritz19

And more cookies.  Eventually, Sigyn and the human female grew bored of making cookies in a single color and started getting fancy. 

spritz20

As predicted, the yellow sugar turned out not to show up on the cookies, and they ended up tinting it a pale orange instead.  They put it on the butterflies and said they were “monarchs.”

All told, they made about twenty-dozen, not counting the ones I ate.

spritz21

They took them to a party.  The human female ended up bringing home a dozen and a half or so.  I was tickled she ended up with so few after so much work and trust me, she does not need to be eating any cookies at all.

All that remains is for me to make sure the large amount of leftover colored sugar cakes up in the bottles so that it can’t readily be used again.

Oh, and eat the ones I stashed away.

>|: [

In Which Infiltrate Another Branch of the United States Government

It’s been strongly suspected by many for a while that I have a hand in the running of the Infernal Revenue Service.  (I’ve been slowly and steadily siphoning funds for my takeover of the realm.)  Now I am ready to announce openly that I have taken control of Usually Smashes Parcel Significantly .

And the mail-sorting equipment is functioning juuuuust the way I want…

mangled mail

>|: [

Just To Be Sure

I admit it:  I’m obsessing over our latest cherry-pull.  I won.   Or at least, I think I did.

Maybe I did?

I’m still not 100% sure Sigyn didn’t rig the whole thing.  What do you call that?  Reverse cheating?  Throwing the match?  Humoring me?

I think want a rematch.  And this time, no patty-fingers with the cherries beforehand, if you please!

Now we just have to see if there are any more twin cherries…   Sigyn, are there—

stillmorecherries2

Oh!

stillmorecherries

Oh my…

>|: o

Pressies from Far Places, Part II: Curious Comestibles

The human female, greedy thing that she is, REALLY likes it when people bring her foreign goodies.  Today she is fantastically excited because someone has brought her a box of sweets.  Where are they from, Sigyn?

foreign-candy1

Oh.  India!  Interesting–I have heard they make delectable things with milk.  Hurry, human!  Open it!

foreign-candy2

Looks like three sorts of what the mortals call “fudge.”  (We do not have fudge on Asgard.  I think the reason is that no one there has the patience for all of that stirring. Frigga, maybe, but she was always watching her figure.)  Mmmm!  Smell the almonds, cashews, and cardamom!  (I shall finally find out if I like cardamom!)

आप कैंडी चोरी करते समय सभी कैलोरी बाहर गिर जाते हैं।

Someone else has given the human female a packet of little cakes.  Did you know that Midgardians have fought wars over whether these should be called cookies or biscuits?  Sigyn, while they engage in vocabularial fisticuffs, let us explore the contents of this packet.

foreign-cookies

Sniff..  Ahh.    I do like lemon!  Give me just a moment while I draw one out…

foreign-cookies2

If someone was paid for icing this cookie evenly, his employer was robbed.

foreign-cookies3

Look at that uneven distribution of confectionery!  Disgraceful.  The human female is sure to notice it and complain.  Let us forestall her caterwauling and do away with the offending morsel entirely before she comes back.

>|: 9