Rocket

Revenge of the Flora, Part 8

Vrooooom!

Screeeech!

Hey!  What’s all the ruckus?  Why’ve you got hold of my friend Sigyn, and what’s the kitten doing on the ground?

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“Stay out of this, rodent.  It doesn’t concern you.”

“‘Rodent‘, is it?  Just for that, me and my buddy Groot, here, are gonna unleash six kinds of whoop-ass on you. ”

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“See this cannon?  When this is all done, there won’t be enough left of you jokers to make a small side-salad and a boutonniere.  What do you say to that?”

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Vrooooom!

“Hey, Rocket—Need any help?”

“Nah, Cap, I got this, but because I’m such a nice guy, I’ll let you take a swing at a couple of the posies, if you want.”

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“Thanks!  Because I hate bullies, even if they do look like a corsage run amok.”

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“Now, listen up:  You weeds have two of my good friends.  Let them go now and we can all walk away from this in one piece.”

“Ha!  Do your worst, Captain Spandex!”

<knuckles cracking>  “I was kinda hoping you’d say that.”

“You stand no chance of defeating us!”

On va voir!

(to be continued…)

Prunus tripla

It is still cherry season.  The human male did the grocery marketing and came home with a bag of the biggest, blackest cherries I have ever seen.

How big are they?

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They’re a little less than one Benno in height, about two Bennos around, and about three Bennos in weight.

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He’s terrified of them.

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Run, Benno, run!

There are a lot of twin cherries in the double handful the human female brought for lunch.

Idunn’s Pomes and Ponytails!  It’s a triple cherry!  I have never seen the like!

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How does one pull a triple cherry?  I guess we need someone else to participate.  No, Fisi, I’m not letting you do it. I don’t want hyena spit on my fruit!

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Let’s go see if we can find someone else to play with us…

(meanwhile)

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Gathering More Help

Anyone who knows me knows that I hate to ask for help, but Sigyn is missing and I’m frantic and someone has to know where she is and…

Focus, Loki. Keep looking. Think. Who are her other friends?

There’s, um, that flaky doctor and his simian sidekick. It couldn’t hurt to try him.

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“Und ze centrifuge, Remus, mein Freunde. I must have one. Add that to your total, Bitte.”

“Herr Doktor, Guten Tag.”

“Loki, and assorted others! Guten Tag! Herr Clown und Herr Schneemann I know, but who is the so pretty Fraulein Kätzchen?”

“This is Muffy. Look, Doktor–”

“‘Arnold,’ Bitte.”

“Look, Arnold, have you seen Sigyn? She’s been missing since yesterday, and we can’t find her anywhere.”

“Nein. I have not seen your Liebchen. Remus? Hast Du sie gesehen? Nein? I am sorry, Herr Loki. But we do not know where she may be.”

“Will you help us look?”

“Ja, of course we help you. Remus, he helps me with the unplugging of certain devices, and then we go.”

“Danke, Arnold; Danke, Remus.”

I can think of one more person to ask.

…………………………

“I hear you up there banging around. Don’t just stand there. Hand me the 5/8″ crescent wrench, will ya?”

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“Rocket–”

“Oh, hey, Loki! What brings you here? Hey! Get that monkey out of my tools!”

Rocket, we’re looking for Sigyn. She’s missing. Have you seen her?”

“Nah, man. Me and Groot have been off doing some odd jobs, ya know? Haven’t seen her in a while.”

“Damn. No one knows where she is, and I’m getting really worried.”

“No kidding. Look, lemme finish this one little thing and then me and Groot’ll help you look.”

“Thanks. I have the horrible feeling we’re running out of time.”

>|: [

 

Help Wanted, Part VI: The Fifth Interview

I have learned my lesson! When the second of today’s candidates shows up, I will make sure to look through the peephole first. Oh. My. Word. What I am seeing is so strange that I have to open the door for a better look. What am to make of this?

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And now, without so much as a “by your leave,” this…critter… is poking through the remains of the X-53! Cue recorder!

…………………………………………..

Raccoon: “Hey, I’m gonna need this guy’s leg. And maybe an arm.”

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Loki: And just who are you?

Raccoon: Name’s Rocket. Heard you were looking for some help. Got any projects in mind?

Loki: Not at this precise moment. But– Hey! Stop tinkering with that and pay attention.

Rocket: Oh, okay. Yeah? What do you wanna know?

Loki: You could start by telling me about your skills. How could you be useful to me?

Sigyn: <giggles>

Rocket: Best pilot you’ll ever meet. Weapons expert. Escape artist. There isn’t the jail that can hold me. I specialize in jobs that need a little extra…creativity.

Loki: Interesting. I assume you have references? What about your most recent employment?

Rocket: Well, I been hanging around with this Quill guy. Starlord, they call him. Guy named Drax. Green girl named Gamora.

Sigyn: <giggling>

Loki: Gamora?

Rocket: Yeah. You know her? Adopted daughter of Thanos, but–

Loki: Thanos?!

Rocket: Yeah, but–

Loki: This interview is over. Leave. NOW.

Rocket: Hey! Wait! Wait. Keep your horns on. Sure, she’s Thanos’ daughter, but she don’t work for him no more. Believe me, I got nothing to do with that crazy purple dude.

Loki: I hope for your sake that is true—Sigyn, what are you doing?

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Rocket: Ah, that’s just Groot.

(Loki: “Groot”? There’s a talking raccoon that knows bloody Thanos in my house, with a potted twig he calls “Groot”… Could this day be any more surreal?)

Rocket: Groot’s all right. He’s a little on the small side right now, but give him a year or two and he’ll be back to his big old self.

Sigyn: <giggles>

Loki: Sigyn, what are you doing?

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Sigyn: We’re just having a little dance.

Loki: Sigh. Look, Rocket, Groot, whatever. I’m not sure this is going to work out.

Rocket: Yeah, I was getting that.

Loki: Maybe some other time? I’ve got your contact info if…

Rocket: Don’t call me, buddy, I’ll call you.

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Sigyn: Bye!

………………………………..

Is it me? I place a simple help wanted ad and all the weirdos in the galaxy show up. Is there something in me that just calls to fruitcakes? >|: [

(ed. note: Sorry for the brief but egregious Guardians of the Galaxy crossover. Wait. No, I’m not.)