Sigyn might need rescuing

In Which Sigyn and I Escape

Sigyn and I have realized that WE don’t need to be cooped up with the human female, so we are having a stroll around the yard to see if Spring has wrought any changes.

The toothache tree has shiny new leaves and some tiny flower buds.

springyard1

It’s very prickly, though, so one must dangle carefully.

The oxalis by the compost heap has been blooming for a while.

springyard2

Speaking of compost heap, it looks like the All Hallows pumpkin started caving in and has been relegated to a place of ignominy.

springyard3

You can look, Sigyn, but don’t touch.  It is six kinds of scary in there.

What Sigyn likes to call the “cupcake bush” is showing a few blossoms.

springyard4

If you stand there, though, my sweet, the hummingbirds may not come.

The mint is back with a vengeance.  As a botanist, the human female should have known better than to plant it.  It has quite taken over the side yard.

springyard7

Now the whole neighborhood smells like chewing gum every time she mows.

The tropical milkweed has started flowering in earnest.  It’s Sigyn’s favorite because of its coloring.

springyard5

It is drawing some monarch butterflies and—Great Frigga’s hairpins, Sigyn!  DON’T MOVE!!  There is something long-legged and beaky on the wall behind you and I don’t know what it is!

Phew!  That was close.  I rescued Sigyn and sent her back inside to make sure the human female is actually working.

I am checking out the irises.  They usually bloom the first week in April.

springyard6

Look, you stupid things, I know it’s been too warm recently, but try to stick with the program, all right?

>|: [

A Boxful of Color, Part I: Because Apparently a Million Colors Are Not Enough

The human male and his friend, wanting a little bit of fun in case this area gets “locked down,” made a quick dash to the Big City to the South last weekend.

Three guesses where they went, and the first two don’t count.

The Purveyor of Pens.  You are correct.  The male came back with this intriguing box.  Come, Sigyn, let us check it out.  It is certainly a colorful package.

inkbox1

Hmm.  A make-your-own-ink kit.  This could be amusing.

inkbox2

“3 Oysters”?!  Let us hope that that is some ridiculous brand name and not the contents of the box!

Inside the cardboard sleeve is a shiny silver tin.  Sigyn if you take that side and I take this one…

inkbox3

…I think we can manage to get it open.

This looks promising indeed!  Although why would you want to go messing about and adulterate what is already the perfect shade?

inkbox4

Sigyn is so excited that there is red that she hasn’t noticed the other colors yet.

The kit includes a twisty-nibbed glass pen for doing Fancy Writing.

inkbox5

Careful, my sweet–don’t drop that.  When you are done admiring the craftsmanship, slide the point back in its little rubber sleeve.

There are also a tiny bottle of thinner/toner and two little mixing beakers.

Oh, for the love of Frigga’s petticoats!

inkbox6

I can’t look. Sigyn’s managed to trap herself, hasn’t she?

Some days I really wonder about her…

>|: [

 

The Only Thing Worse Than Costumes is a Party, Part II: I Think Hieronymus Bosch Was the Party Planner

I’m trapped in this Hel of a party and I can’t seem to convince Sigyn that it’s time to leave.  Surrounded by people I can barely tolerate, no food, and only Quill’s dumb mix tape for music.  Sigh.  At least Sigyn’s having fun.

hall-party12-heres darcy

S: “Hi!  I don’t think we’ve met.  I’m Sigyn.”

D:  “Hi, Sigyn! Great flower costume.  I’m Darcy.”

S:  “I don’t recognize your costume.  Who are you dressed as?”

D:  “Hahahahah.  I came as an unpaid lab intern.  Convincing, right?”

hall-party13-whats in the briefcase

S:  “Muffy, I can’t get over what a good Pepper Potts you make.  But what’s in the briefcase?”

M: “Oh, just what every high-powered female executive carries around.  You know.”

hall-party14-lobster

S:  “Hee hee hee!”

D:  “Hey, little pinchy dude, want to, like, go see if there’s some melted butter somewhere?”

…..

We seem to have been here forever.

hall-party15-chicken fighting

Still no refreshments, and the rabble have devolved into something called “chicken fighting.”  You can be sure I will ban this ludicrous practice when I take over the planet.

L: “Sigyn, can we pleeeeeeease go now?”

hall-party16-i made floam

Please examine this viscous pink substance I created in my lab.

L:  (poke, poke, poke)  “I don’t trust it.”
hall-party17-trying the flarp

H:  “Hey, guys!  You really need to try this!  It feels really neat between your toes!”

hall-party18-trying flarp

M: “It looks like a big, pink tongue, but it’s all cool and squishy…”

D:  “And it’s   s   t  r  e  t  c  h  y,   too!”

hall-party19-tony is the flarp safe

S:  “Help!  It’s got me!  Hee hee hee hee!”

M:  “Stark, this stuff had better come out of my wig…”

hall-party20-tony is here

IM: “Hey, folks!  I’m here!  The party can start now!”

CA:  “Stark!  If you’re here, then who is that there in the Dalek suit—?

hall-party21-then who is the dalek

EXTERMINATE!!

 

 

I Spent My Anniversary Playing With Toys, Part III: A Visit to the Overland Circus

I will not lie.  I wish to be very far away from that sinister duck and that infinitely creepy pineapple.  There are several cases of circus toys on the other side of the room, my love.  Let us go over there.  What could possibly go wrong in a circus?

iron-toys14

See?  The carousel is colorful and charming, the lion is regal, and it looks like some homemade ice cream might be on offer.

And look!  Here is one of the animal wagons, skillfully driven by a clever fellow without the use of reins!

iron-toys5

Although–Watch out, Sigyn!  It looks as if someone forgot to latch the bear’s cage!

iron-toys6

Run, Sigyn, run!!!

>|: o

How Much Can We Cram Into One Day? Part II: In Which We Visit Some Critters as Old as the Human Female and then Sparklies

Harrumph.  I have been dragged kicking and screaming protesting decorously from the Knights exhibit and hauled off to the Paleontology wing.  Since none of the toothy beasties figured is alive to be recruited to my cause, I find this a good deal less interesting than the glaives and billhooks of the previous exhibit.

Sigyn, I think this smiley whatsit wants to follow you home.

hmns1-smile

…and possibly eat you, so let’s not adopt it.

A human gastronome, Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin , once said, “Tell me what you eat and I will tell you what you are.”  This has always intrigued me.  I wonder if he really could tell that I was handsome and talented and a genius just by knowing I like roast chicken.  Of course, anyone could infer that the human female is white, bland, lumpy, and boring from her love of rice pudding, so I guess there’s that.

Paleontologists have been using that rule of thumb to help figure out what defunct animals were like and how they made their living, based on their teeth.

I have been staring at this creature for twenty minutes now, and I still can’t work out what this thing ate:

hmns-oreodont

Duh.  Read the card, Loki.

hmns-oreodont2

Cream-filled chocolate sandwich cookies.

Moving on.

We are now looking at some of the works of the talented Mr. Faberge, who never encountered a surface he couldn’t encrust with gold, enamel, and precious stones.

Big smooth river rock?

hmns-faberge-striker

Boom!  Match striker.

The human female is quite taken with the smoky quartz shell cup thing there, the one topped with the hippocampus.  (Why DO they call it a hippocampus when it does not look at all like a hippo and has probably never been near a university in its life?)

hmns-faberge2

Sigyn and I like the little matching elephants, one red and one green.  They’re sitting on a double bell-push, a device used for summoning servants.  There!  That right there!  I need one of those for my birthday, which is coming up.  Hint, hint.

>|: [

It’s Not Easy Being Green

I know my faithful followers must think that all I do is torment the human female.  Nothing could be further from the truth!  I have plenty of mischief for the human male.  Why, just today I played a very good prank indeed!

As you may recall, the human male is quite fond of fountain pens.  He has an extensive collection of pens and an even broader range of colored inks.  Just to keep him humble, I arranged for a small gravity fluctuation in his storage area, with the result that just now there was the delightful noise of a whole box of inks falling over— and one of the bottles broke!  Now I get to laugh while he cleans up the carnage.  It was contained in the plastic box, but I imagine it is still pretty messy.  Let’s go see!

Oh, no!  Why did it have to be one of the GREEN inks?!

inkspill1

What a dreadful waste.

inkspill2

There was a bottle of Lamy ink in the box.  Lamy packages their inks with some blotting paper.  It seems to have done its job like a champ.

inkspill3

The ink that spilled was DeAtramentis ‘Bamboo’, though the Pelikan ‘Dunkelgrün’  box seems to have taken a hit as well.

inkspill4

Oh!  Here is the actual broken bottle.  Great Frigga’s corset!  There’s a huge chunk missing from the shoulder!

inkspill5

Why did it have to be such a lovely ink in such a nice bottle?  I hate it when my mischief backfires on me!   This might ruin my whole afternoon.

inkspill6

She’s trying to figure out how to get stuck in the bottle, isn’t she?

>|: [