Sigyn needs rescuing

Shopping and Seasonal Silliness, Part I: They Probably Shouldn’t Let Us In Here

The humans are visiting the local international-type-emporium because the male has learned that they have his super-uber-favorite candy, ginger-flavored gummy bears, for sale.  They are very hard to come by, so he is excited.  The fool has yet to figure out that I routinely divert 99.2% of the supply destined for the U.S. to my own private warehouse.  I’ve a stash large enough now that I could make him dance to my tune for the rest of his life, just by dangling the odd bag under his nose from time to time.

Ehehehehe!  They have made the trip all the way over here, only to discover that there is one (1), count them:  one bag available for purchase!  The mix of simultaneous disappointment and gratitude on his face is both pathetic and hilarious.  My day is made!

But while we’re here, Sigyn, let us look around and see what else is on offer.  We’ve run into some unusual offerings before.

Um.  Wow.

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Next time I feel the urgent need for punny cocktail napkins featuring cartoonish members of the Phyllophaga, I will know where to come.

Sigyn, come look at these!

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I suddenly feel the fridge at the house is woefully under-decorated, don’t you?  And perphaps if I put the hippo and elephant butts right at eye-level, she could finally make some traction on that diet she’s always whining about.

Usually, when we are here, Sigyn manages to get herself trapped in something.  Today, though, I hopes we’ll make it out of here unsca–

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I spoke too soon.

Thankfully, she does not seem to be in any distress.  While I contemplate how to retrieve my beloved, I can ask this deeply philosophical question.  What is cuter that a smiling Sigyn face?

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Multiple smiling Sigyn faces!

Hang on, sweetie.  Loki’s coming!

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Fetching the Family, Part II: A Very Dangerous Emporium (Human Male Edition)

Just down the strip mall from the restaurant is a game store the humans have not visited before.  It is clean, bright, and well-stocked with the latest board and card-based games.  In short, a wilderness of temptation for the human male. 

While he is perusing titles and planning how to spend some recently-acquired bonus money, Sigyn and I can also have a look around.

Sigyn is mostly drawn by cover art.

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Do I need to buy you that one just so you can look at the birdies, my sweet?

Thor’s bitty ball-peen!

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Can I go nowhere without running into my oafish brother’s likeness?  Look!  He and his stupid hammer are up there under the “ME”.  I hope the rules for this game allow for the the bashing of him.  If the box weren’t shrink-wrapped, I’d check.

The human male has made his selections and is ready to check out.  Sigyn, are you ready to go–

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Sigh.  Twenty seconds!  I took my eye off her for twenty seconds.   Hang on, dearest.  Loki’s coming.

There.  Safe and sound.  Dangerous jars of dice and games featuring my brother notwithstanding, this is a pretty nice store.  What is it called, again?  The Gaming Goat?  What an odd name!  And their little mascot appears to be possessed.

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You look mighty cute up there, dearest.  I’ve discovered, though, that if you press down on the base that caprine creature is standing on, it screams like the proverbial banshee.  I think I’ll buy a couple and teach the Terror Twins how to activate them in the middle of the night.  That ought to make the family’s visit a truly memorable one.

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On the Way Home From the Gaming Convention

Well, that was four days of my life I’ll never get back.

The convention is over, but it appears the adventure is not.  The human male has stopped at an odd little shop on his way out of town.  Sigyn, my sweet, would you like to explore?   Yes?  Then let us proceed!

What is this ceratopsian doo-dad?

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A taco holder?  Really?

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No, Sigyn.  No, don’t give me those puppy eyes!  As much as I think cluttering up the human female’s kitchen with strange, unitasker kitchen kitsch that isn’t going to fit anywhere would be fun, I really don’t want to spend money on this plastic dinner dino.

If you want to go for a little ride, though, I’ve no objection.

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I might even join you.

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There.  That was fun.  A good ending to our excursion.  What a trip this has been!  We survived late nights, long games, strange encounters with ecdysiast eggs, and multiple days of the human male’s company.  We’ve scouted out some real estate, taken a frigate for a test drive, and been invited to a penguin party.  Safe and sound, we are just about home free…

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Sigh.

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DNA Stands for Do Not Attempt…

The students are going to be studying DNA in lab this week, and Prep Staff is running a text experiment to make sure that all the reagents and equipment will work properly.

The experiment involves something called PCR.  That stands for …. I’ve never figured out what, exactly.  I’m going to assume it stands for Please Contribute Resources, so I’m doing exactly that.

Because I’m helpful like that.

Anyway the idea is that it can take a teeny, teeny, teeny amount of a person’s genetic material and make a bazillion copies so it can be analyzed.  Prep Staff is getting a sample from various people on the floor.  Obviously, they want the finest DNA possible, so I’m giving them a sample.

I have my little tube full of sterile saline, here.

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Next, I label a cup with my name…

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Well, that was predictable.  Sigyn, my love, you’ve contaminated my cup!  Your lovely DNA is all over it now and I’ll have to get a new one.

Where was I?  Oh, yes.  I’m going to swish the saline in my mouth for a moment or two…

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Spit it into this new cup…

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And then pour it carefully back into the tube.

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That is some precious Jotun saliva, right there.

Next, the tubes of saliva will go into the big centrifuge.

But first, a little ride…

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After a spin, it’s all alcohol and primers and a long, boring wait for the thermocycler.  We’ll check back in later to see how it all turned out…

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Sooo Many Rescues

We’ve had a nice visit with the new neighbors, but it’s time to be heading home.   It’s beginning to get dark early these days.

Whoa.

Sigyn, are you getting that creepy, “something’s watching me” feeling on the back of your neck?

Sigyn?

Sigyn?

Where did she___?

Munnin’s tailfeathers!  Let go of my beloved THIS INSTANT, you cantankerous, carnivorous corvid!

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Hang on, sweetie!  Loki’s coming!

Whew!  That was much too close for comfort!  All right, Sigyn, let’s just go home and make cocoa–

FENRIR’S FLEACOLLAR!  NOT AGAIN!

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Get your freakish dwarven hands off my beloved, you big lizard, or I’ll Thera your pod into teeny, tiny, bony slivers!

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That is NOT what I meant!

No time for witty insults!   Just…

ZAP!

Are you all right, my love?  I promise, that Saurischian menace will never bother anyone, ever again!

Let’s go home.

I think we need cocoa AND some cookies to go with–

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I give up.

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Adventures in Marketing

There is a new market in town!  It is not a Large Market, but it is pretty big.  On one hand, it is going to tie up traffic on one of the few good north-south roads. I predict there will be a new accident every day.  On the other hand, all of the shopping carts still have straight wheels!  (I will be attending to that shortly.  Bending one wheel on each cart is a particular joy of mine.)

The Grand Opening crowd is huge.  The humans have already met four or five people they know.

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Sigyn is quite taken with the floral department.  The displays are sorted by color, and the white hydrangeas are “just so fluffy!”

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But nothing beats old-fashioned red roses.

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I am checking out the produce section for anything weird.

Odin’s eypatch!  I haven’t seen one of these in a while!

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I think I will demand that the human female purchase one and learn how to prepare it properly.  (I don’t particularly want to eat it.  I just want to watch her struggle with it!)

Somehow we have ended up on the aisle with playthings for littles.

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Tsk! Goofy, and not at all to scale.

Augh!

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Unhand my beloved you phocomelioid menace,  or these will be your LAST moments!

Hang on, sweetie, Loki’s coming!

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Sadly, Not Actually Banished…

It’s still hotter than Muspelheim outdoors, the humans are working hard and often get out of the office late, and neither of them feels like cooking.  It’s no surprise then, that “out” is often on the menu.  With the students gone now, between semesters, it’s a good time to try one of the new eateries in town.  I am enthusiastic, because I overheard the female utter the words, “Ban me.”  I have good hopes that the proprietors will take one look at her ugly haircut, her unfortunate visage, and her table “manners” and I’ll get to see them toss her out of their establishment.

It’s a smallish cafe with a limited menu.  Sandwiches feature prominently.  The human male has chosen one that seems to involve meatballs.

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Poke, poke, poke.  Not sure what the green stuff is.

Sigyn says the female’s has “lemongrassy beef, pickled veggies, and ‘nummy’  pâté .”

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That sounds…odd, but the bread is good.  Nice and crusty.

This place is big on cold drinks, too, which is almost more important than food this time of year.   The human female has selected a pineapple slushie.

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The male has a mango smoothie.  Not sure why the lid says “tea time”…

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Some of the other drinks have what looks like a good handful of little balls in the bottom.  Tiny grapes?  Bubblegum?  Ball bearing tea?  I have no idea.  I don’t trust it.

Well, the humans and Sigyn seem to be enjoying the food, but this has been a bust for me.  No one has made any move to eject the human female.

One final note:  the decor here is minimal.  A colorful blackboard wall.  A plant or two.  An old-timey lantern.  I’ve seen enough.  Come on, Sigyn, let’s g—

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Sigh.  Hang on, sweetie, Loki’s coming.  And then let’s leave, before we ALL get thrown out.

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