Sigyn needs rescuing

Fetching the Family, Part II: A Very Dangerous Emporium (Human Male Edition)

Just down the strip mall from the restaurant is a game store the humans have not visited before.  It is clean, bright, and well-stocked with the latest board and card-based games.  In short, a wilderness of temptation for the human male. 

While he is perusing titles and planning how to spend some recently-acquired bonus money, Sigyn and I can also have a look around.

Sigyn is mostly drawn by cover art.

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Do I need to buy you that one just so you can look at the birdies, my sweet?

Thor’s bitty ball-peen!

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Can I go nowhere without running into my oafish brother’s likeness?  Look!  He and his stupid hammer are up there under the “ME”.  I hope the rules for this game allow for the the bashing of him.  If the box weren’t shrink-wrapped, I’d check.

The human male has made his selections and is ready to check out.  Sigyn, are you ready to go–

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Sigh.  Twenty seconds!  I took my eye off her for twenty seconds.   Hang on, dearest.  Loki’s coming.

There.  Safe and sound.  Dangerous jars of dice and games featuring my brother notwithstanding, this is a pretty nice store.  What is it called, again?  The Gaming Goat?  What an odd name!  And their little mascot appears to be possessed.

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You look mighty cute up there, dearest.  I’ve discovered, though, that if you press down on the base that caprine creature is standing on, it screams like the proverbial banshee.  I think I’ll buy a couple and teach the Terror Twins how to activate them in the middle of the night.  That ought to make the family’s visit a truly memorable one.

>|: [

On the Way Home From the Gaming Convention

Well, that was four days of my life I’ll never get back.

The convention is over, but it appears the adventure is not.  The human male has stopped at an odd little shop on his way out of town.  Sigyn, my sweet, would you like to explore?   Yes?  Then let us proceed!

What is this ceratopsian doo-dad?

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A taco holder?  Really?

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No, Sigyn.  No, don’t give me those puppy eyes!  As much as I think cluttering up the human female’s kitchen with strange, unitasker kitchen kitsch that isn’t going to fit anywhere would be fun, I really don’t want to spend money on this plastic dinner dino.

If you want to go for a little ride, though, I’ve no objection.

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I might even join you.

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There.  That was fun.  A good ending to our excursion.  What a trip this has been!  We survived late nights, long games, strange encounters with ecdysiast eggs, and multiple days of the human male’s company.  We’ve scouted out some real estate, taken a frigate for a test drive, and been invited to a penguin party.  Safe and sound, we are just about home free…

skullmug

Sigh.

>|: [

DNA Stands for Do Not Attempt…

The students are going to be studying DNA in lab this week, and Prep Staff is running a text experiment to make sure that all the reagents and equipment will work properly.

The experiment involves something called PCR.  That stands for …. I’ve never figured out what, exactly.  I’m going to assume it stands for Please Contribute Resources, so I’m doing exactly that.

Because I’m helpful like that.

Anyway the idea is that it can take a teeny, teeny, teeny amount of a person’s genetic material and make a bazillion copies so it can be analyzed.  Prep Staff is getting a sample from various people on the floor.  Obviously, they want the finest DNA possible, so I’m giving them a sample.

I have my little tube full of sterile saline, here.

PCR1

Next, I label a cup with my name…

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Well, that was predictable.  Sigyn, my love, you’ve contaminated my cup!  Your lovely DNA is all over it now and I’ll have to get a new one.

Where was I?  Oh, yes.  I’m going to swish the saline in my mouth for a moment or two…

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Spit it into this new cup…

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And then pour it carefully back into the tube.

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That is some precious Jotun saliva, right there.

Next, the tubes of saliva will go into the big centrifuge.

But first, a little ride…

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After a spin, it’s all alcohol and primers and a long, boring wait for the thermocycler.  We’ll check back in later to see how it all turned out…

>|: [

Sooo Many Rescues

We’ve had a nice visit with the new neighbors, but it’s time to be heading home.   It’s beginning to get dark early these days.

Whoa.

Sigyn, are you getting that creepy, “something’s watching me” feeling on the back of your neck?

Sigyn?

Sigyn?

Where did she___?

Munnin’s tailfeathers!  Let go of my beloved THIS INSTANT, you cantankerous, carnivorous corvid!

heb-halloween4

Hang on, sweetie!  Loki’s coming!

Whew!  That was much too close for comfort!  All right, Sigyn, let’s just go home and make cocoa–

FENRIR’S FLEACOLLAR!  NOT AGAIN!

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Get your freakish dwarven hands off my beloved, you big lizard, or I’ll Thera your pod into teeny, tiny, bony slivers!

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That is NOT what I meant!

No time for witty insults!   Just…

ZAP!

Are you all right, my love?  I promise, that Saurischian menace will never bother anyone, ever again!

Let’s go home.

I think we need cocoa AND some cookies to go with–

heb-halloween7

I give up.

>|: [

Adventures in Marketing

There is a new market in town!  It is not a Large Market, but it is pretty big.  On one hand, it is going to tie up traffic on one of the few good north-south roads. I predict there will be a new accident every day.  On the other hand, all of the shopping carts still have straight wheels!  (I will be attending to that shortly.  Bending one wheel on each cart is a particular joy of mine.)

The Grand Opening crowd is huge.  The humans have already met four or five people they know.

newHEB-crowd

Sigyn is quite taken with the floral department.  The displays are sorted by color, and the white hydrangeas are “just so fluffy!”

newHEB-hydrangea

But nothing beats old-fashioned red roses.

newHEB-roses

I am checking out the produce section for anything weird.

Odin’s eypatch!  I haven’t seen one of these in a while!

newHEB-jackfruit

I think I will demand that the human female purchase one and learn how to prepare it properly.  (I don’t particularly want to eat it.  I just want to watch her struggle with it!)

Somehow we have ended up on the aisle with playthings for littles.

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Tsk! Goofy, and not at all to scale.

Augh!

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Unhand my beloved you phocomelioid menace,  or these will be your LAST moments!

Hang on, sweetie, Loki’s coming!

>|: [

Sadly, Not Actually Banished…

It’s still hotter than Muspelheim outdoors, the humans are working hard and often get out of the office late, and neither of them feels like cooking.  It’s no surprise then, that “out” is often on the menu.  With the students gone now, between semesters, it’s a good time to try one of the new eateries in town.  I am enthusiastic, because I overheard the female utter the words, “Ban me.”  I have good hopes that the proprietors will take one look at her ugly haircut, her unfortunate visage, and her table “manners” and I’ll get to see them toss her out of their establishment.

It’s a smallish cafe with a limited menu.  Sandwiches feature prominently.  The human male has chosen one that seems to involve meatballs.

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Poke, poke, poke.  Not sure what the green stuff is.

Sigyn says the female’s has “lemongrassy beef, pickled veggies, and ‘nummy’  pâté .”

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That sounds…odd, but the bread is good.  Nice and crusty.

This place is big on cold drinks, too, which is almost more important than food this time of year.   The human female has selected a pineapple slushie.

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The male has a mango smoothie.  Not sure why the lid says “tea time”…

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Some of the other drinks have what looks like a good handful of little balls in the bottom.  Tiny grapes?  Bubblegum?  Ball bearing tea?  I have no idea.  I don’t trust it.

Well, the humans and Sigyn seem to be enjoying the food, but this has been a bust for me.  No one has made any move to eject the human female.

One final note:  the decor here is minimal.  A colorful blackboard wall.  A plant or two.  An old-timey lantern.  I’ve seen enough.  Come on, Sigyn, let’s g—

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Sigh.  Hang on, sweetie, Loki’s coming.  And then let’s leave, before we ALL get thrown out.

>|: [

 

Sigyn Would Be Very Good at Hide-and Seek In Certain Circumstances

The humans are out running errands today.  Sigyn and I have tagged along, mostly because I am BORED.  A  BORED Loki is a DANGEROUS Loki…

We are currently in a big market that is famous for its red and white, archery-themed trade dress.  I am a fastidious shopper, but  Sigyn is predisposed to like everything about this place because RED.  

She is currently beside herself because we are in one of the housewaresy-kitcheny aisles and she has just discovered this large glass bowl full of shiny, red apples.

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The human female is trying to explain to her that not only are they fake apples, they are fake Red Delicious apples, which is is heinousness squared.  A real black hole of bad appleness, if you will.  Beyond loathsome.

Sigyn is undeterred and has…

Oh, NO!  She’s fallen in!  Sigyn, are you all right?!   Where are you?! 

I can’t see her at all!   She is perfectly disguised among the shiny red apples with their little yellow highlights!

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Nothing for it but to remove the apples one by one until I find her.

I can hear her giggling, so I think she is all right, just unable to climb out.

Hang on, sweetie!  Loki’s coming!

>|: O

Fun For Little Kids–And Big Ones, Part III: This Place Goes on Forever

This place appears to violate the laws of physics–I am sure it is bigger on the inside than the outside would indicate.  (I suspect there is a TARDIS in the basement.)

There is a Noodle Forest, a space in which hundreds of pool noodles are hung from the ceiling, so close together that one can’t see through them.  Moving about in there is like navigating a slowly-waving kelp forest, one with hyperactive toddler-seals that appear from nowhere, ram into one at full speed, and then disappear again.  It’s  more than a little unnerving, but I approve, as I just saw the human female get mightily whacked in the midriff by someone’s hard little head.

Down the hall there is a vast area where youngsters can play at keeping a store—there are a loading dock, cash registers, shopping carts, and an assortment of ersatz foodstuffs.

Sigyn is utterly charmed by the realistic fruits and soft-sculpture baked goods.

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It is a toss-up as to which is sweeter, this pan dulce concha or my own little Sigyn.

So many cans!  Children can learn to read and recognize some common edibles.

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I was starting to think it was lunchtime, but suddenly I am not very hungry anymore.

After lunch and more playtime, it is time to go.  Sigyn and I are exploring the gift shop while all the grand-tots make one last trip to the potty.

Fenrir’s Fleacollar!  Unhand my beloved, you spikey-frilled hellspawn!

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Whew.  Are you all right, my love? That was close!  Lucky for everyone that he only wanted to taste her just a little bit.  For a vegetarian, he looked pretty fierce.  Sigyn is damp but otherwise unscathed.

It has been an interesting day, but I am glad enough to go.   I have left behind a little calling card on one of the napped-plush pillars upstairs.

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The moving finger writes, and having writ, moves on…

>|: [

Zooward, Ho!, Part V: Among the Slithery, Scaly, and Slimy Things

Grrr.  As if we haven’t had enough blechy weather this spring, it is starting to sprinkle AGAIN!  Sigyn and I have made a dash for the reptile house, which, though devoid of furry creatures, is at least indoors.

This is a beautifully designed facility, I must say. The background murals are quite effective.

I will admit a certain… fondness for snakes.  This handsome fellow is not nearly as good at cryptic coloring as he thinks he is.

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But he color coordinates nicely with this poison arrow frog.

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Usually poison arrow frogs are tiny, shy, and hard to see.  This supersized batrachian beauty, however, is downright eager to have his photo taken.

Sigyn wants to be friend with all of the animals, and it appears that they would all like to interact with her as well.

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Um, dear heart, I know you think that cobra’s being friendly, but that marking on his hood isn’t a smiley face.

This lizard is just hanging around–literally.

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That prehensile tail is a handy appendage.  Hmm.  I might have to gift the felines at home with something similar.  It would help them be even BETTER climbers!

These two turtles seem quite amiable.  That’s a pretty small habitat, though.  I think it needs something.

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That wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.

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Sigh.  Hang on, sweetie.  Loki’s coming.

Looks like the alligator is in the display tank today.  Smile, Sigyn, and I’ll take your photo!

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On one condition—you are not allowed to go in swimming with him.

If my beloved makes it out of here in one piece, it’ll be a miracle.

>|: [

Things Are All Fine Here, Except… (Part III)

The humans try to save money wherever they can.  One thing they’re adamant about is not paying for packaging.  They have a collection of spice jars which they refill from the bulk bins at the store, rather than buying new jars.

Looks like today is Refill Day.

Sigyn likes the cumin.  It’s a warm flavor, very savory and tasty in so many things.

Also soft to sit on.

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The human male is a big fan of black pepper.  This should keep him in speckles for a while.

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Everyone in the house likes oregano, so buying in bulk is a good thing.

Except that today they had only a few tablespoons left.  The human female bought everything she could get out of the canister, but it still wasn’t enough for the scale to weigh.  The young man in the store had to write the price on the bag with a marker.  A whole thirteen cents!

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Which was fine with the human female.  Except that when she checked out, the clerk weighed it there and said it was twenty-six cents.

Oh, well, all’s well that ends…

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Dammit.

Hang on, sweetie, Loki’s coming.

>|: [