Sigyn rides everything

So What Was In the Demolished Box??

I am just as curious as Sigyn is to see what is in the mutilated box delivered by Unrepentant Package Squashers yesterday.

Sleipnir’s fetlocks!

It’s more of those stackable animals for that game the humans liked so much.

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What is this one supposed to be?  I approve of the color, but I have no clue what it is.

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Oh.  The human female says its a tricky lizard, one that can change his color at will.  Being a shape-shifter myself, I can appreciate the usefulness of a quick disguise.  You and I may get along well, lizard.

Sigyn is introducing herself to…  A person-faced lion with a goatee and aviator goggles?!

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I’m beginning to wonder if the shaking up that parcel took mashed all the contents around and this thing started out as five or six other things…

Okay.  This one, at least, I recognize.  A flamingo–nothing else is that pink or that stilty.

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They’re famous for standing around on one leg. Sigyn is practicing her own balancing on one leg.

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It’s not going very well.

Stay behind me, Sigyn!  Unless I’m very much mistaken, that is a dragon, and it doesn’t do to leave them out of your calculations, especially if you are small, cute, and tasty-looking.

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Sigyn, don’t!

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Oh, well.  I should have known she’d have the beast tamed in no time at all.

Ehehehehehe!  The chameleon was silly, the flamingo was ridiculous, and the dragon, though fierce, has these goofy little wings and really isn’t very terrifying at all, but THIS goober takes the cake.

Or the fish food, as the case may be.

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Don’t be fooled by its wiggly little forehead “worm,” Sigyn.  That’s how it lures in its prey.

Sigyn! What are you doing?!  Have you NO sense of self-preservation at all?

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Oh.

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Playing dental hygienist.

Sweetest, you and your notions will be the death of me yet.

>|: [

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It’s All Fun and Games Until Someone Gets—Part II: Topsy Turvy Beasts

An unusual game has just been brought out, one the human male received for his just-past birthday.  It involves trying to balance various animals on a plinth.  The animals are all angle-y and intriguing.

Sigyn, stop!

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You just met that bear!  You don’t know if he’s friendly or not.  And maybe he doesn’t like hugs.

I do not trust the eagle-condor-vulture thing, either.

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Back, winged fiend!  I know she’s snack-sized, but restrain yourself!

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The octopus, however,  is very friendly— and quite good at shaking hands.

This beast seems tame as well.

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What’s it called?  “Warthog?”  This must be the human female’s game piece, yes?

Sweet Glittering Bifrost!  What is that?!

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The game rules identify it as a Mythical Omni-Beast composed of some aspect of each of the others.  It has warthog tusks, a shark fin, the toucan beak, bear paws, and so on.  It’s a good thing it appears to be gentle, because Sigyn is thoroughly smitten.

No one knows what this piece does.

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Looks like the humans have managed to get the shark, the warthog, and a crossing symbol onto the plinth.  And a Sigyn.

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Ah!  Now it all begins to make more sense.

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The plinth is magic, and each animal piece has a small spell attached.  The magic can communicate with a computer so that the animals become part of a narrative on the screen.

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The object is to keep all the animals alive by “feeding” them “energy” with the polyhedral pieces that must also be balanced on the plinth.

The “cross” game piece does just that–it crosses two of the animals currently on the plinth.

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Which is how we managed to make a Ruffled Swinejaw

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I will admit, this is amusing.  It is giving me all sorts of good ideas for beasts I could engender to form part of my army.

So far, the humans are playing in what they call “co-op mode”, in which they all join efforts to stack as many animals and generate as many bizarre mutants as possible.  That is all well and good, but where is the competition?  Where is the striving?  I think we need to invoke Battle Mode, where a card deck comes into play.

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That way, I can play cards like this:

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Or this! 

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Truly!  I think I have found MY game!

>|: [

 

Shopping and Seasonal Silliness, Part II: The Seasonal Part

Well, they have not thrown us out of the establishment yet, Sigyn, so let us meander through the seasonal offerings.

It would appear that Midgardians are gearing up once again for the annual festival of the Eater Bunny.  Once more, children will seek to appease the ravenous lagomorph with gifts of colored eggs and other frivolities.

Ah.  Votary images of the foul beast.

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Those are properly terrifying.  Step back, Sigyn–the tall one looks poised to crush unwary supplicants!

Oh, but this one appears considerably more benign.

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Have a care, my love!  The creature may seem “wooby” and soft, but there are no doubt formidable incisors hidden behind that tiny smirk.

Usually at this time of year, one can find effigies constructed of inferior confectionery.

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And here they are!  Although these shiny bunnies may be less duplicitous than the larger statues, which always seem to offer days of solid, cocoa-induced euphoria, but which are usually waxy, hollow shams which taste of disappointment and false promises.

Moving on.  My beloved is enchanted with these miniature, egg-shaped snow globes.  

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In find them completely baffling and unscientific.  In what reality do they make sense?!  Not only would baby ducks, chickens, and rabbits both drown AND suffocate if sealed in containers of water, but the vigorous shaking one is expected to do would scramble their brains permanently!  Not to mention that if caught in sudden spring blizzard, such as is represented by these baubles, baby animals would likely freeze to death!  Hmmm.  Maybe that is the whole point.  Perhaps these are meant as symbolic offerings to the Eater Bunny—stand-ins for actual animals sacrificed to its capricious, insatiable hunger?

Sigyn has found something which reeks less of death.

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You are mighty cute up there, precious!

And very conspicuous.  Pray dismount, my love–the sales clerk is headed in our direction, and she seems less than pleased.

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Ah, very clever!  Blending in is always a good strategy.

With any luck, we shall remain undetected while the humans are ejected for loitering.

>|: [

Fetching the Family, Part II: A Very Dangerous Emporium (Human Male Edition)

Just down the strip mall from the restaurant is a game store the humans have not visited before.  It is clean, bright, and well-stocked with the latest board and card-based games.  In short, a wilderness of temptation for the human male. 

While he is perusing titles and planning how to spend some recently-acquired bonus money, Sigyn and I can also have a look around.

Sigyn is mostly drawn by cover art.

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Do I need to buy you that one just so you can look at the birdies, my sweet?

Thor’s bitty ball-peen!

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Can I go nowhere without running into my oafish brother’s likeness?  Look!  He and his stupid hammer are up there under the “ME”.  I hope the rules for this game allow for the the bashing of him.  If the box weren’t shrink-wrapped, I’d check.

The human male has made his selections and is ready to check out.  Sigyn, are you ready to go–

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Sigh.  Twenty seconds!  I took my eye off her for twenty seconds.   Hang on, dearest.  Loki’s coming.

There.  Safe and sound.  Dangerous jars of dice and games featuring my brother notwithstanding, this is a pretty nice store.  What is it called, again?  The Gaming Goat?  What an odd name!  And their little mascot appears to be possessed.

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You look mighty cute up there, dearest.  I’ve discovered, though, that if you press down on the base that caprine creature is standing on, it screams like the proverbial banshee.  I think I’ll buy a couple and teach the Terror Twins how to activate them in the middle of the night.  That ought to make the family’s visit a truly memorable one.

>|: [

Meeting Some New Friends (Who Look Like They Need Feeding Up)

Sigyn and I have just run into some very strange…  strangers people beings in the neighborhood.

These wide-eyed fellows are very cheerful…

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…and appear to have benefited from some first-class orthodontia.

Sigyn is very much taken with these ladies’ flowery dresses and hats.

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That lady there doesn’t really have supernumerary arms.  She just has a lot of her sisters standing behind her.

They seem like very nice people overall.  Their landscaping is in need of some attention, though.  They should call a professional Consulting Arborist for this poor tree…

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…but I think it may already be too late.

And their kitty might need to see a vet,

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Even if he is friendly and gives rides.

>|: [

Yule Marketing, Part I: Making New Friends (?)

Great Frigga’s hairpins!  It is nearly Yule-tide again.  How did that happen?  I turn my back for one minute, and it’s time for all of the tinsel and wrapping and fa-la-la-ing again.  Didn’t we just DO this?

The mortals are out and about with the intent to purchase giftimentos for their kin.  Sigyn and I have tagged along.  Sigyn, because she just adores this time of year; me, because I don’t trust her safety to the humans, not for one second.

I will admit that this market is somewhat less boring than some I have been in.  It appears to have little what-nots and edibles from all over Midgard.

Also some shady-looking characters.  Sigyn, do you really want to be trying to make friends with these canines?

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I mean, dogs in sweaters—with eyeliner?  That’s just not normal.  And those eyes that are facing one another?  Both blackened!  Obviously, these two are brawlers.  You’d do best not to get mixed up with them.

Oh, my.  Yes,  my love, that is a lot of poofy hoofstock.  All decked out for Yule in peppermint tassels and ribbons.

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And they appear to come in both chocolate and vanilla.

And to be sweet-natured.

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Sigyn, is there an actual animal under all that floof?

Odin’s Eyepatch!  A foul thunder-lizard has appeared!

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Unhand my sweetie this instant, you villainous theropod!  If you so much as scratch a single one of her corset grommets, I will END YOU.

<snuffling noises>

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It’s right behind me, isn’t it?

>|: [

to be continued…