someone out there out-dastarded me

Someone’s Mischief is More Potent Than My Own

I mentioned last week that there seems to be a lot of citrus fruit about the house recently. And why not? It’s tasty, refreshing, and nutritious. Even that ghastly-looking blood orange was nicely edible, once I shut my eyes.

Today, Sigyn and I have stumbled upon something the humans must have bought on one of their forays to Odd and Unusual Grocetoria.

Hmm. Freeze-dried tangerine… It would never have occurred to me to do that. Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t one of the best features of citrus fruit their abundant juice? What’s left of a tangerine if you take that away? Sigyn, fancy a bit of a nosh?

Let’s shake some out of the package and see what they look like.

Huh. Sure enough, they look like tangerine sections that have played a little too much beach volleyball in the hot sun. Recognizably citrus bits, to be sure, but feather-light and as dry as a mummy.

How do they taste?

(nibble nibble nibble)

Idunn’s Little Green Apples! Bleargh! Feh! <spit, spit, spit> There is nothing like a good tangerine, and those are NOTHING like a good tangerine! They manage to be bitter, acid, and weirdly petroleum-adjacent, all at the same time.

I cannot imagine a single culinary use to which these could be put, unless the goal was offering them to a guest that one desired to be rid of. Urrrr. I stopped after one bite and I’m still shuddering. I may have to lick a bus station floor to get the taste out of my mouth. Sigyn is similarly unimpressed. Whoever came up with these has a heart blacker than my own and not the smallest particle of love for his fellow man.

Another bite? No thank you! Loki out!

>|: b