stabbity stabbity

Another Stabby Cabbage Recipe

Not too long ago, Sigyn and I helped the human female make CRC. I do not mind occasionally helping in the kitchen. If I am involved, I can make sure that what results is actually edible. Sigyn, I think the humans are Preparing to Cook again. Let us see what’s going on.

The human male is fiddling with a gadget which does not appear to be his phone.

Oh, you’ve got one too?

I want yours! It looks like it has a whip and maybe a bomb on it. Mine just has boring words and numbers.

What do you suppose these are for?

Oh, wait. I recognize these! These go with the electric smoker that the human male likes to play with. One is the remote for the smoker and one is the readout for the thermometer that gets poked into the meat.

The human male is smoking pork for pulled pork, and you know what that means!

Time to make The Slaw.

This is a recipe that the humans made up themselves, based on something the Knittery Friend served them once. It’s the only sort of slaw the human male will eat, and it involves a lot of knifework and unsafe kitchen utensils so of course I want to be involved…

Sigyn likes to help with the carrots.

The human female, who is capable of learning, usually opts to don the cut-proof glove before invoking the shredding device, which is first cousin to the mandolin which tried to amputate her thumb in the Great Mandolin Scalloped Thumb Debacle of 2018.

Sigyn! I know that you like to watch, but please see that you do not fall in!

Idunn’s little apples! That is a LOT of shredded carrot. The human female does not know how to make a small batch of this stuff. (Actually, there are no measurements at all when it comes to the veggies, only the dressing.)

Now we come to my favorite part–the dismemberment and destruction of a head-sized brassicaceous globe of green crunchiness!

Sigyn, this is going to get pretty violent. You may not want to be this close.

Have dagger, will shred!

Prepare for your doom!

Stabbitystabbitychopchopchopshredstabbitystabbity…

Ah. That was extremely cathartic. I highly recommend officially sanctioned culinary mayhem as therapy for repressed aggression.

Time for the pink stuff. Since this is an Asian slaw, we need some of this pickled ginger or gari.

Again, no fixed measurements exist. This is all done by the TLAR method (That Looks About Right.)

That’s it for the vegetable matter. Nothing left to do but to add the dressing…

..which is composed of 4 parts rice vinegar, 3 parts sugar, 1.5 parts canola oil and 0.5 parts sesame oil (don’t overdo the sesame oil–a little goes a long way!), plus a few shakes of Aleppo pepper. The human male just scales up the recipe to make as much as needed and funnels it into an old vinegar bottle. Very handy.

Stir everything together assiduously and serve.

Better yet, let it sit in the cooling box to contemplate its sins for a bit and then serve. If there are any leftovers, they make a great basis for an Asian salad. <sniff sniff.> Mmmm. This stuff is awesome. And, judging from the porky smells that are beginning to waft in from the back patio, this is going to be a night when I don’t need to phone for take out.

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Time For the Annual Cucurbicide

Sigyn and I did not carve pumpkins last year.  We were too busy and couldn’t think of anything to top the previous year’s perforated pepos.  This year, we feel the urge to do a little gourd-gouging.

There are some intriguing prospects at the market.  Yes, dearest, that is a fine pumpkin!

CM-bigpumpkin.jpg

But it’s a bit…big.  I think you would probably be still be carving next Halloween.

Now this one looks properly hideous and ghoulish.

cm-lokipumpkin

Whack in a couple of eye-holes in this pumpy lumpkin and bam!  Instant Quasimodo.

The human female however, is in no mood to deal with vast quantities of pumpkin guts and has procured us somewhat smaller vegetable specimens, as well as paper for planning our designs.  Sigyn has something cheerful in mind.

sigyn-pumpkin

I, of course, am in the mood for something a little more frightening.  I am never without at least one instrument of stabbiness secreted about my person…

loipumpkin2

…so we are all set.  Let the pumpkin perforating begin!

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