strangely round-headed people

Oh, so much to do!

I know that last year I wrote at length about the Midgardians’ preparations for Yule.  Don’t think for a minute that because I haven’t nattered on and on this year that I haven’t been helping the human female with  the preparations.

When, thinking that the framer had the details from the last on on file, she didn’t spell out that she wanted her grand-nephew’s birth announcement to be framed vertically, without a mat, I filled in the missing details.

sampler

Mighty fine!

I helped with the yule cards.

cards1

Let’s see, the card for the retired deacon in the nursing home goes in the envelope for the mother-in-law, and the card for the mother-in-law goes to…

I also made sure that the postal clerk was out of the more traditional stamps, the kind with the lady and the baby on them.

cards2

I don’t know who these strangely round-headed people are.

I helped decorate the tree.  That took almost all of a whole day!  This is how we do it around here:

Before starting, it’s vital that the tree be firmly seated in the stand.

treestand

I bent the cap just a bit so that one of the screws is frozen in place. The tree will always list at least 4 degrees to starboard now, but since the humans themselves are more than slightly “off,” I figure it suits.  Plus, it’s just fun to watch them bicker about which way it needs to be adjusted.

Next:  Check the lights.  This string is fine, but I twiddled the other so that one of the four component strands is out.  One of the colored strings “inexplicably” is all lit on one end and dark the rest of the way.  The human female says it shouldn’t work that way and spent an inordinate amount of time trying to sort it before giving up and fetching a new string.

testing lights

The feline can usually be induced to chase the strings as they’re put on, which will probably take out a few more of the little bulbs.

cathelp

Stop whining, humans–I am helping you do your part to conserve energy.

Then we put the ornaments on.  The human female likes the shiny glass kind.   The fragile shiny glass kind.  She dropped and broke one of the very dark green ones that the human male and I really like, so I retaliated by nudging a blue one off the tree.  (The floor was quite crunchy there for a bit!)

I was going to leave it at that, but then this snooty, skirted tart with a shiny hat and a harp gave me a dirty look, like I wasn’t good enough to handle tiny bells and glass fruits and veggies and the little wooden cherries that go near the top of the tree.

broken angel

Not so fancy now, eh, b*tch?

Now, what to do with the aftermath?  Hide the evidence?  Tuck into slippers?  Drop into tomorrow’s oatmeal?

brokenornament

I know!  I’ll hang it on the tree, and let the human female wonder which other one of her precious baubles is missing. She’ll drive herself crazy trying to remember if there was another apple and how many of the solid burgundy ones there are supposed to be…*

She’ll be too distracted to poke the presents under the tree.  Just another service I provide.

You’re welcome.

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* Do you know, I think it is a conspiracy larger even than my mischief that, at this time of the year, when the adults are worn thin and tired and stressed, and the small people are bouncing off the walls with sugar and excitement and scarcely-repressed greed, that all of these clumsy, butter-fingered mortals are brainwashed into handling bubble-thin glass and dangling it multiple meters off the floor.  It’s a recipe for carnage and recriminations.  I love it.

 

 

One Yule Tradition I Actually Like

I can do without cards and lights trees and carols, and I can certainly do without wrapping, but there’s one Yule custom I don’t mind at all.  The Department’s annual potluck Yule luncheon is usually a good time, and there’s no knowing what people will bring.  The human female usually makes pilaf.  In the spirit of the season, I’ve offered to help.

pilaf1

Rice and onion and peas and raisins and almonds and chicken bouillon and parsley and coriander…

pilaf2

I have it on good authority that it’s all in how it’s stirred.  Sadly, this won’t be the human female’s best batch and we will all be out of luck.  You see, she’s forgotten the butter, and the coriander has lost all its flavor.  Oh, well.  You know grad students.  They’ll eat anything.  There won’t be any leftovers to bring home.

<later>

Are there any good goodies here today?  Hmmm…let’s see. Turkey, sweet potatoes, ham, salad–not bad.  Oops!  The human female got here late and there was a long line, so she’s missed the macaroni and cheese.  But there’s always enough dessert to feed an army, and she’s come back with a whole plateful of tidbits.  (This doesn’t look like watching a waistline to me!)

party1

Cherry pie, a pielette, some sort of cheesecake brownie thing, a holly cake, and a bear who looks as if he knows exactly what his fate is going to be.

Well, put my hair in pin-curls and call me Frigga!  The human female hasn’t eaten all her dessert.  She’s taken most of the plate back to her desk to nibble on while she “works.”

Sigyn, while her attention is elsewhere, let us, um, make sure they are safe to eat.

party2

You sample the holly cake while I see what’s under this fluffy stuff.  (poke, poke, poke) Can’t be too careful with fluffy stuff.

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