A Bag O’ Swag, Part II: A Whole Lotta Adventure in One Little Bag

Sigyn and I are still working through the bag of SWAG (Sure, We Are Greedy).  We haven’t found anything edible yet, but I’m still hopeful.

Looks like we have some centrifuge tubes.  I approve of the cap color.  There are some 15 mool…


… and some of the bigger 50 mool kind.


We’re nearing the bottom of the bag, and still no munchables.

Great Frigga’s corset!  There’s a monster in my bag!


But he’s the friendly, puffy sticker sort, so it’s all good.

Aha!  This looks promising!


Ack!  No!  Sigyn, don’t worry about what fetal bovine serum is.  Just read the other part of the label.


The part where it says these are actually m&ms.  Score!

This is turning out to be a very good bag o’swag after all.  And the best part about it is that there has been no glassware samples that Sigyn can get trapped in!  I feel we’ve really “dodged a bullet” on that one, as the human expression goes.


Or maybe not.

Sigh. Hang on, sweetie, Loki’s coming.

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A Bag O’ Swag, Part I: Nothing Edible Yet

One of the sales representatives from one of the vendors the human female deals with stopped by today.  She used to work for a company that was swallowed up by They Had One Mission and Stumbled, but now she works for a smaller company that still wants to sell the human female the biodegradable nitrile gloves everyone wears around here.

They had a nice chat, and the sales rep left behind a bag of SWAG (Sure, We Are Greedy).  It’s a “cute” human ritual.  The vendor comes in with a bag that is clearly full of samples and goodies and says it’s “just a little something”, and the human female politely pretends not to be distracted by it, though it’s quite obvious she wants to rip into it and see if there is anything edible.

This Swag bag is greenwhich is auspicious. What do you suppose is in it, Sigyn?


I can sort of see through the plastic.  I think we are in for some riveting Product Literature.


There are some sample disposable pipettes.


Sigyn is looking to see if they are marked “To Deliver” or “To Contain.”  There’s a difference.


I can’t be bothered to know what that difference is, of course, but I understand there is one.

There’s a box of pipette tips in three different sizes–10 mool, 20 mool, and 200 mool.


What?  That’s not how “μl” is pronounced?

I was right, there’s a substantial catalog in the bag.


Sigyn is excited because she’s just found out that MasterMix now comes in red.


If you have to add the primers and the DNA, then what is actually in the Master Mix, hmm?

Look–their centrifuge tubes come in all sorts of colors!  The human female never has any colors other than blue or white.  Because she’s boring.


“Um, Sigyn?  Don’t look at this page, all right?”


I have my suspicions about where this Newborn Calf Serum and Fetal Calf Serum come from…


…and it’s not pretty.

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Swag, Part IV: Odds and Ends

We still haven’t reached the end of the SWAG.  Inside the ugly green bag is a soft canvas tote bag emblazoned with a friendly sheep.  Sigyn is smitten.


Oooo!  The sheep on the bag is holding a tote bag with a sheep holding a tote bag, with a teenier sheep holding an even teenier tote bag!  Et cetera, ad infinitum. How very recursive.

There’s something else soft and cloth-y down there, too.  I think it… Yes, it’s a T-shirt.  Size Enormous, just right for the human female.  Sigyn is trying to imitate the Science Ninjas on the front.


Hold on–There’s something rustling around right down at the very bottom!  Something alive!

<sniff, sniff…>

Smells like…



Fandral’s mustache!  Who’d have guessed?   A stout, soft, squeezable swine, a veritable pudgy prince among porcine playmates.

Sigyn has named him Percy, and–ugh! Sigyn!  Don’t kiss the piggy!


You kiss ME with that mouth!  Eewwww…

That’s it.  I think we’re done with SWAG here.  Let’s stuff all the junky literature back into the hideous tote and carry off our booty.


We can negotiate later whether the pig is going to be a pet or pancetta

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Swag, Part II: Rolling in Stationery

The human female is hoping that there will be office supplies amongst the SWAG.  Notepads are always welcome.


Oh, look!  Here’s a very nice planner!  Even though nearly a whole month is gone, I can still put this to good use.  A world-conquering supervillain can never be too organized.


This notepad just needs a little personalizing.


Loki is everywhere!


And don’t you forget it!

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Swag, Part I: Holding the Bag

From time to time the human female goes to one of the Scientific Products shows that are held on campus.  Theoretically, it’s so she can go and look at products that might be useful in the teaching labs or talk to the vendors and try to arrange a good price for chemicals or labware that she needs.  But I know better:  These shows usually have free food, which she is genetically incapable of passing up. Also, the vendor booths hand out little free things.  Collectively, this is called “SWAG”  The human female will stand and talk with purveyors of multi-thousand-dollar microscopes and animal-anaesthesia systems and whatnot, knowing full well she will never buy anything from them, just hoping they are handing out superior trinkets.  I think therefore, that “SWAG” might also be an acronym:  Stuff We Aren’t Getting, or perhaps Schmooze While Actually Greedy.

Today the human female has returned with quite a haul, all loaded into this handy-but-garish insulated bag.


She has left it unattended whilst eating her lunch (Really?  She has room for lunch after inhaling a buffet’s worth of cookies, fruit, pizza, and bagels?)  Sigyn, let us examine the contents more closely.


There seems to be a vast quantity of paper inside.


Hmm.  A coupon for a company which deals in gold.  She is just going to squander this, so I think I’ll take it.  I could use some more gold.


Sigyn is going to be disappointed when she learns that this company does not actually sell orchids.


More brochures, all for products she will probably never buy.  Although I might contact this outfit to see if they can produce antibodies that will render me proof against the epidemic of election year rhetoric, by which I find myself increasingly sickened…

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