that’ll teach you not to keep an eye on your belongings

Yes, She Is Just. That. Clueless.

With the human female, the truly mysterious becomes clear in time.  The blatantly obvious takes longer.  Sometimes I take advantage of that when planning mischief for her.

Take, for example, the strange Case of the Reddish-Pink Menace.

The other day, the human female noticed a bit of what looked like reddish ink on one of her shoes.  She didn’t think much of it–she works in an office and around labs.  No doubt she’d run afoul of some dropped marker or spilled chemical.

Then she found a spot of a similar color on the living room floor, near the couch.  She pondered a bit and then cleaned it up.

Next, it was a reddish-pink spot on the bottom of her backpack.


The cogwheels of what passes for her intellect began to turn slowly.  Perhaps she had a pen leak in the backpack?  Perhaps that red ballpoint she’s lost track of?  That would explain the spot on the floor, since that is where the backpack often sits at home.  (Yes, she’s a slob.)  If the shoes had been next to the backpack, that might explain that spot as well.   She looked through the disaster that is her backpack but found nothing.

This morning, however, rooting around in there for her keys, has produced a new clue.


That is definitely ink–and it’s fresh.  I think she is about to finally discover the source of the stainage.

Rummage, rummage, rummage.

Aha!  The culprit has been apprehended!

Months ago, in one of his periodic fountain pen frenzies , the human male stumbled upon a package of  pens shaped like sharks.  He purchased a set, thinking it might be fun to give them out to friends.  The human female, being a surprisingly bloodthirsty wench, lost no time in seizing the white one and filled it with a reddish ink that made it look as if its innards were sloshing with the blood of its hapless victims.

She’s scary like that.  She didn’t use it much, because the ink was a little too pink and didn’t “look bloody enough.”

But she’s reaped the rewards of her actions, because look who was lurking in the depths of her pack:


What with one thing and another and a little help from me, his cap had completely unscrewed and he was merrily leaving a bloody trail behind him.  Take a look in her backpack.  It’s all Sharknado vs. Cat in the Hat Comes Back down in there…

And that particular color may not be waterproof, but it sure does not like to come off skin.  Ehehehehe!  She’ll be flaunting the badge of her carelessness aaaaalll day…

My work here is done.

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