things that go vroom–including sigyn

I Spent My Anniversary Playing With Toys, Part I: A History of Vroom

Sigyn and I just celebrated our fifth maybe-wedding anniversary.  It’s hard to believe it’s  been five years already.  I remember all of the danger and confusion of our maybe wedding as if it were yesterday!

Sigyn and I have decided to celebrate in our usual manner–we are going to a museum to look at things.  Usually, it’s glass because that is Sigyn’s favorite, but Sigyn has found an exhibit she thinks I will like, and making me happy makes her happy, so we are off to look at…something.

She’s not telling.

(later) Well, would you look at that!  Cases and cases of little metal vehicles!   I do believe that all of Midgard’s transportation history is laid out here.  All much more primitive than Midgardian science, of course, but the mortals have managed a little progress since they came down out of the trees a bit and a half ago.

After walking, horse-drawn conveyances came first.

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Sigyn says she would like to have a horse and carriage.  Where would you keep it my love?  And who would clean up after the horses?  I love you, but I do have my limits!

Besides, after riding Sleipnir, boring old four-legged horses just seem so awkward and slow.

As I understand it, steam locomotives were next.

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Suprise! Sigyn likes the red car.

Automobiles were next after that.  Look!  There’s one for each of us!

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Sigyn, don’t forget to take a scarf when you go riding in yours.  Convertible-hair is awful.

Sigyn?  Sigyn!  Where are you?  I seem to have lost my spouse!

Oh, there she is.

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Not content with roadsters, she’s dreaming of scooting nimbly ’round a race track instead.  Or at least, I think that’s what the little vroomy noises she’s making mean.

Ah.  Here are some fine mass-transit conveyances.  

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I could load up fifteen or twenty of my closest friends and go for a picnic!

Who am I kidding?  There aren’t fifteen people I like on this godforsaken rock. Sigyn and the human female’s mother, and that’s about it.  More room for picnic!

And finally, mankind conquered the skies.  Only about six thousand years after Midgard’s inhabitants took to the air, but what can you expect?

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Puny brains and lifespans like a mayfly’s.  No wonder that they are so technologically impaired.  They’ve only just stopped walking on their knuckles and eating each other’s fleas.

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