thor is a poophead

I Think I Still Prefer a Sword (And I Could Use One About Now)

I…I’m not quite sure how it happened, but I find myself wedged into the automobile with Sigyn, the humans and one of their more voluble friends. We are, apparently, en route to the annual fountain pen show in the big city to the north. This means I can look forward to three and a half hours of discussion in transit of the merits and/or failings of different brands of pens, paper, inks, and whatnottery.  As if I cared.

Still, Sigyn likes looking at all the pretty colors of inks, and I will admit that I do like to keep abreast of the newest in pens and inks, if only so I can have a better chance of putting together a combination that is going to get the human female smeary to the elbows and swearing like Niffelheim fishwife.  So I’m not discontent to be going, just ready to be out of this vehicle.

Ah!  And here we are, in the busy, bustling show room.  I can scarce credit that there are so many persons infected with Pen Pox in the state.  Still, when you consider that the human male has probably infected a dozen victims himself, I suppose it stands to reason.

Sigyn is captivated by a tray of antique pens.


Is it the muted colors of celluloid which beckon, my love?  Or are you merely enamored of the word “snorkel.”

Here is a matching pen and pencil set.  I think I know why Sigyn likes this one.


Fandrals Mustache!  Look at the prices!  The pen sold for $18.50 back in its prime.  It is now priced at $360.00, a nearly twenty-fold increase.  Clearly, I need to invent a time machine so I can travel back, buy up a bunch of cheap pens, bring them forward, and make a bundle selling them to suckers discerning customers.

Great Frigga’s Corset! What is he doing here?


Can I go nowhere without running into my oafish brother?!  And what is he doing at a pen show? The idiot can barely write his own name with one of those monstrously fat pencils they let infants use.

Augh!  He is accompanied by another fearsome warrior, one who looks to be from the same realm as Hogun.


Stand down, you fools!  I mean you no harm, but if it’s a fight you seek, I am only too willing to oblige!

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It’s All Sorts of Untrustworthy Up In Here

Sigyn and I have accompanied the mortals on their weekly grocery run.  While they peruse the canned goods and debate the merits of one brand of toothpaste over another, my beloved and I are free to look around at the things that are not groceries.

Sigyn is quite charmed by these succulents in the home goods aisle. Succulents are all the rage these days.


Yes, my love, they are quite pretty.  And colorful, too, yes.  And most assuredly easy to care for.  Oh, you think we should get some, as the Terror Twins might be less likely to gnaw on these than on the other houseplants?  I suspect you are correct.  Because they are plastic.

Speaking of felines…  There is a portly, overly-cheerful one and its equally smiley kin in the new little tea cafe near the front of the store.


I rarely trust cats, and I can tell this crew is up to something.  No one smiles this much unless they are Up To Something.  I should know.

(Hey, Sigyn, how is a beckoning lucky cat statue like a flat, round, tasteless candy?  They’re both Neko-wavers!  Ba-dum tsss!)

The little cafe has some interesting wall art, too.  There are some flowers, and there is a pagoda and …

Sweet Glittering Bifrost!


Can’t I go anywhere without running into depictions of my stupid, oafish “brother”?  Even when it doesn’t really have his big, dumb face, it’s still his big, dumb face.

My day is spoilt.  Let’s go home.

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Beware! The Human Female is About to be Handy! The Outcome

You may recall that the human female was going to cut a bunch of pegs with a band saw attempt to build some racks to hold petri plates at a slant.  I was keeping book, and the odds were 4 to 1 against her finishing the project with all of her phalanges attached.

I lost money on that one, drat her.  (Do you see why I persist in trying to make her life a living Hel?  I’m just returning the favor.)

She has completed cutting all the pegs and assembling all of the racks.

arabidopsis racks2

The assembly was accomplished with much whacking, as the pegs are an exact fit for the holes drilled by her accomplice.  I nudged her a bit, hoping that hammer would meet thumb with hilarious results, but apparently someone has been sucking up to Thor, because, aside from a liberal coating of glue, she has emerged unscathed.

There are a LOT of racks!


They have been helpfully labeled, one for each lab section.  All that whacking, and no mashed digits!  I really do feel cheated!

Oh, well.  When the course has approximately DOUBLE the enrollment in the fall, she and her minions are going to have to build about forty-five more racks, so I will have further opportunities to alter the shape of her hands.

The students are going to be working with a plant called Arabidopsis thaliana, which has the advantages of growing from seed to flowering very quickly, being very small, and producing what Midgardians scientifically term a “metric butt-load” of itty, bitty seeds.

This is the seed from thirty-six plants.

arabidopsis seed1

Each brown dot is a seed, so there are approximately eleventy billion in this tube.  The human female harvested each one with her own still-ten-fingered hands, sifting out the chaff as she did so.  It has taken her most of the afternoon.  It was the sort of repetitive, mindless work to which her feeble intellect is most suited.

Now we are ready for the really fun part.  In order for all of the seeds to sprout at the same time, they have to have a four-day moist nap in the fridge.  Once they come out, the human female and one of her minions are going to have to try to put more-or-less twenty seeds in each of these little tubes.

arabidopsis seed2

Labeling the tubes was its own kind of tedium.  Aliquotting the seeds is going to be even more time-consuming.  (Keeps her off the streets.)  She’s thinking that if she mixes the seeds with a quantity of sterile water, she can swirl the tube and draw off a small amount of seed and water from the vortex and dispense it neatly into a tube.

Hmmm.  Human female plus micropipettor plus counting.  Yeah, that’s going to go well.  I will keep you posted.

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I Had A Visit From My Brother, And It Sucked

I have asked Thor to meet me here today in one of the human female’s prep rooms.  I told him I have something fun to show him.

Here he is now.


“Hail, brother!  It is too long since last we met.  It does my heart full well that you ask for my company!  You are looking well!”

“Uh, yeah.  You too.  Come look at this instrument the humans borrowed.  It has dials and pipes and a fan and all sorts of other bits.”


“Verily, that is a stupendous machine!  My Lady Jane has many devices, but not one of this ilk.  How is it called, and what it its purpose?”

“It’s a vacuum pump.  They are using it to vacuum-filter a large volume of reagent.”

“That is most marvelous.  How does it operate?”

“I’ll show you.  This is where the receiving flask is hooked up.  See?”



“No, look more closely.”

“Aye, Brother.”



“See, Thor?  Just like that.”

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