A New Yule Tradition–Day 5: An Inauspicious Start to the New Year

It’s our last day, so to help distract us from the giant elephant in the room of having to return home tomorrow, we have scheduled one last big adventure.

Sigyn has never flown in a hot-air balloon, and neither have I.


It will be a good way to survey the surrounding countryside, and with my magic, there’s no danger that we will crash or drift out to see or some such foolishness .  See if you can find us one whose gondola is not already full of Victorian cosplayers.

(later)  That was quite fun!  We shall have to do it again sometime soon.

We do not have time for a visit to the botanical garden, but we can certainly spend some pleasant moments strolling in this grove of glitter pines.

red and gold trees

Sigyn really likes them, because they are *SpArkLy* and essentially red and yellow.  Ehehehe–think how awful one would look in the human female’s yard…  It just might be time to do a little guerilla gardening…


Uh, oh.  Sigyn, I think we may have strayed into a part of town that is not so nice…  There’s no need to fear, since I have my magic and my dagger (and many other weapons secreted about my person), but let us pay attention and remain aware of our surroundings as we work our way back to the camper.

Norns’ nighties!  I think this poor fellow has been the victim of a mugging!


Run and fetch help whilst I try to stop his hemorrhage.

Ugh. This is not how I wanted to end our trip.  Hang on, fellow.  Help is coming.

(a bit later)

Yes, officer, I “just happened” to come upon the poor, late Mister Frosty.

tin copper

Yes, I had a dagger, but it was out because this is a shady part of town and I surmised—correctly, I might add— that you boys in blue have not been diligent in keeping up patrols in the area.  If anyone’s to blame, it’s you.

Yes, officer, there is blood on my cloak, but only because I stopped to render aid.  Is that not the correct thing to do in these parts?

Look, I know that I do have a bit of a reputation for mayhem and violence, but ask anyone:  I only visit such upon those who have wronged me, and I’ve never tasted seen the  poor fellow before.

No, I would not like to accompany you down to any station to answer any more questions.  I am a god, you dull creature, and I am done with answering questions.  I have NOT stabbed anyone today, but if you annoy me further, that might change.  Cease casting your aspersions upon my honor or I shall leave you with a wound which you can compare to the deceased’s.

Come, Sigyn, we are teleporting home.  I’m sorry that our vacation has had to end upon such a sad and sour note.   Think of hot air balloons, sparkly trees, cat-shaped mugs, cozy campers, furry deer, and strolls along the canal.

Next year, we are definitely going back to doing the glass museum instead.

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A New Yule Tradition–Day Four: Gastronomic Goodies

One of the best parts of being away from home for Yule is the distinct lack of the human female’s cooking.  Not that she can’t come up with usually-edible victuals, but by the crumbs in Volstagg’ beard, that woman cannot cook without making a horrific mess!  She never finishes meal preparation without the kitchen looking like Ragnarok has occurred. Not that I feel any particular guilt about skiving off without helping with the washing up, but I am weary unto death of manufacturing excuses not to.  Even I can run out of lies on occasion.

So, happy me and joyful Sigyn, we are sampling the very best this town has to offer by way of comestibles.

This little piggy went to market. This little piggy stayed home.  This little piggy had roast beef…


And the other two piggies were similarly made out of marzipan and I nommed them while no one was looking.

By Odin’s monocular vision!  Come here, Sigyn and look at this mold for cooking eggs!

funny egg makers

How’d you like that staring at you of a morning?  The pup is cute, too, and you’d get to eat the bacon that didn’t end up in the ears.  The idea is very clever, but I wonder if the actual results would be as perfect?  Never mind, though.   With my magic, I can make your morning eggs into any shape you please.

Oooo!  I have discovered the hoard of a lifetime!


These may be gold or they may be chocolate–either way, I win!

Look, Sigyn!  They made a drink just for me!

liquid rage

But I bet it’s false advertising.  I’ll wager my remaining uneaten chocolate gelt that it isn’t made with freshly-squeezed red pandas.


All of this wandering around and tasting and snacking on bits and pieces of things is making me cross and a little hangry for a real meal.


Yes, yes, Sigyn.  I see the chocolate “just for me.” Very funny.

Ah.  Sigyn has chosen where we shall have lunch today.

crepe hut

That looks like a splendid place to have lunch.  And it appears they have two free seats at the counter.  I could certainly wrap myself around a waffle or two, and a mug of hot cider would hit the spot perfectly.

And someone else will be doing the dishes.

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A New Yule Tradition–Day Three: In Which Sigyn Runs Into the Usual Trouble

I am SO glad we decided to go on vacation this year.  It is six kinds of restful, this being away from the humans and the felines!  We are enjoying our cozy camper (last night I magicked up a ball pit and Sigyn had the best time, swimming around and giggling.)

Still, it wouldn’t be Yule if my beloved didn’t get a dose of glass somewhere, so today we have arranged to tour a glass factory.  I’m not quite sure what sort of glass objects they make.  Sigyn is hoping it’s glass paperweights, since those are her favorites.  I just hope it is not something yawn-inducing, like peteri dishes or those razor-edged rectangles of death that come in dollar store picture frames.

Great Frigga’s corset!  This bodes ill.  This is a candleholder factory, and Sigyn has a bad, bad record with these…

Well, this is not too bad.


Ehehehe.  Peekaboo, indeed.  You cutie, you.

Uh, oh.  I knew it.


Sigyn, my love, come out of there!  I’m sure the nice factory workers would really rather you not put nose smudgies on their wares.

Even if it is a very cute nose.

Aaargh!  Right from one predicament to another.


I swear to Gungnir, I turn my back for one minute…

This hangy-dangle globe is going to take more than a little work to get you out of.  I’ve got to figure out what needs to happen first.  Does the globe lift off or twist?  Is there a way out of the bottom, or have we got to get you out of the top?  And how did you get in there in the first place?

Hang on, sweetie.  Loki’s coming.

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A Holiday! Day 7: Just plain fun

What do you want to do for your last day of vacation, Sigyn? An amusement park? Really?

All right. I suppose we could do that… (Actually, I doubt I will be amused, but I am a pushover where my dearest heart is concerned.)

Sigyn, did you remember to take off your shoes before you went in the bouncy house?


What in the Nine Realms is that? Oh. I see. Something to climb on. You’re very good at that, you know.


I…um…seem to have encountered a little difficulty…


Whew! After all of that, I just want to take off my splendid-yet-somewhat-cumbersome helmet and rest for a bit. I’m not hungry, but Sigyn has gone in search of refreshments.

Wait–have you finished off all the cotton candy already?


Home tomorrow.

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A Holiday! Day 6: Under the sea

Splash! Glub! Bloop!

Today is Aquarium day. By all means, let us inspect some of this curious Midgardian sea life.

Sigyn wanted to have her photo taken with this…thing. I do not know what it is, but he has far too many arms for my liking, and I’m not sure what the one behind my Sigyn is up to. I don’t trust him.


I’m not sure about this fellow, either. Hey, wait! That’s mine! Give that back!


All right, I’ll arm-wrestle you for it…


Ha, you carapacious crawler! I win! Return Gungnir to me. Very well… You can hold it for a minute, But you have to give my dearest a ride!


Me too!


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A Holiday! Day 5: Zoo, zoo, we’re going to the zoo

Here we are at the zoo. There are so many children about! I think we may be the oldest people here. (Well, actually, I am *certain* I am the oldest person here!) They all seem to be flocking toward the lions and the monkeys. Sigyn has some bad memories of big kitties, and I don’t like crowds (unless they are bowing in homage to me), so let us go see something else.


I’m not sure what this is… I thought at first it was a hippopotamus, but it has horns. By Fandral’s mustache wax! And it is a rather alarming shade of aqua. Whatever it is, it appears to be docile.

There are a number of birds roaming freely on the zoo grounds–pigeons, peacocks, ducks, and suchlike. They’re almost as noisy as the hordes of children. Sigyn has found a very nice, plumy feather she plans to take home. Ha ha! I have found a larger one!


No, wait! I win!


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A Holiday! Day 4: Sigyn among the succulents

Sigyn at first wanted to go to the zoo today, but then she thought it would be better to break the animals up with some plants, so we are at the botanical garden. She does love plants!

She is particularly enamored by the Succulent House. I have to admit, this specimen is impressive, and well set off by some colorful sculpture. And it’s not terribly poke-y.


Not like these two. Ouch!


Uh, oh. This little fellow doesn’t look too well. No, Sigyn, we can’t take it home with us. The humans’ stupid cat would probably eat it. We’ll just alert the curator and let him know that one of his charges is three-quarters compost…


Grab hold, Sigyn, and come on up! Probably, we are not supposed to climb the rocks, but the top of this monolith will provide the best view of the plantings.


Uh, oh. Here comes security! Time to get going…

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A Holiday! Day 3: e-i-e-i-o

The sun is out today, and it is deliciously cool–a perfect day for a visit to a farm.

While I cannot truthfully say that I have always longed to ride on a tractor, I am by no means averse to doing so.


Whoa! Who knew Sigyn could drive a tractor?! I’d better hop off and direct her before she runs over a chicken or something. (I recall only too well the last time she got behind the wheel…)


MooOOooo! Sigyn displays the regrettable human tendency to make noises at cows. Just when l forget that she is half Midgardian, the fact rises up and clubs me over the head. Still, on her, it is cute.


Sigyn wants to know which little piggy this is, the one who ate roast beef or the one who went to market. I’m sorry to say I think it is the little piggy whose sty needs cleaning…


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A Holiday! Day 2: Making new friends

We slept very well and arose early to be up and doing. We enjoyed this large round breakfast. It tasted wonderfully of some sweet spice but was very sticky.


It looks like rain, so we are doing indoor things today.

We have heard that this place is the home of some indigenous deities. I have thought it prudent to seek them out and introduce myself, one god to another, as it were.


Oh, no! That blue fellow looks to be about to stomp on my beloved! Oh, wait. He is merely dancing. Lucky for him– as conquering *this* particular bit of Midgard is not on my agenda–yet. I would prefer to count them as potential allies, rather than have to smite them and force them to kneel.

They are proving to be most hospitable. This little one is offering refreshments. Perhaps later? I am still full from breakfast.


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A Holiday! Day 1: Getting there is half the fun!

The humans have been terribly stressed at work lately–computer woes, missing packages, clueless students, feckless maintenance personnel, looming deadlines. They drag themselves home every evening hardly able to move or speak. Time for a vacation!

Not for *them.* For Sigyn and me! We’re tired of listening to all the complaining, so we’re going on holiday! We have left the puny mortals behind and have struck out on our own. The mischief back in Texas will just have to take care of itself while we are away.

We got up very early this morning so as to be in good time to catch the train. I had to remind Sigyn just how a locomotive works and where the burny-hot smoke is likely to be.


The train could only take us so far, and we were obliged to hire a car to reach our final destination. I was in favor of something low, sleek, and fast. Sigyn had other ideas.


(I find I am unable to deny my sweetie anything. And, of course, it’s red.)

We have now arrived at our inn, which is pleasant enough, though it appears to lack the teleportation device that the last two have featured. It is rather late, and we are hungry. What do you fancy, Sigyn? There is a Scottish place down the road which is still open.

Sigyn was in the mood for something light, so we have brought back a dish of tart, flavored dairy cream, layered with fruit. There is a packet of sweetened grain to sprinkle on top.


Look! This is fun! If you put a light source near the bottom of the cup, you can make a meal that glows in the dark!


WoooOOOooo! Spooky! What a fun end to day one!

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