water woes

It’s Been Too Long Since We Had Any Squelching

It’s been much too long since we had any squelching around here.  Or at least no squelching inside.  Outside, there’s been a good bit of rain, things are a bit soggy, and the grass is getting loooooong.

Inside, though.  That’s where I love a good puddle.  Aside from the inconvenience, there’s always the chance I can get the human female to slip and fall in it, which is always good for a laugh.  (Don’t worry–she’s never actually seriously injured.  She has far too much padding for that.)

Today feels like it could be a good day for some water on the floor.  Hmm.  Where to put it?  How about in the middle of one of the human female’s prep rooms?  Someplace people have to go in and out of all day?  That could work.  Done!

A bit later…

Aw, yeah.

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Looks like the minions have been busy mopping.  I can stand on the shore where they’ve put some bench paper down to sop.  Ehehehe.  Sop and mop!

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Now, of course, it’s time for everyone’s second favorite game–Where’s That Water Coming From?  

The humans are  not sure if this is the source of the water on the floor…

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…but they are catching on to the fact that there may be more than one problem.  I don’t know if it shows well in the photograph, but can you see there’s a constant stream of water running there?  Tsk, tstk.  Wasteful.

Slow, Silent, and Costly have been summoned to investigate.   Actually, I think that, as is typical, they  have already been here, taken a look at the problem, and promised to return..  How can I tell?  Easy!  1) While the sink is still running, the puddle on the floor has ceased to grow.  I. e., the job is half done. 

Also, someone has left behind a tool.

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A lovely, grippy, bone-chomping tool.  An adjustable, grippy, bone-chomping tool.  I do not know who left you out, you sweet, toothy thing, but you’re mine now!

(later.)  Yes, Slow, Silent, and Costly have been here and are coming back.  They have promised a whole new faucet!  The minions are quite excited.

Do you see the diabolical brilliance of my pranks?  This is how you may know that you are in the presence of the Master of Mischief:  I can visit upon the human female and her staff as many misfortunes as I wish, but if I throw them a little bone from time to time, all they can think about is that, and not the giant, still-unsolved problem that SSC may– or may not– be coming back to fix.

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Mischief Update: Bits and PIeces

No major mischief to report this week, but it’s still fun to just needle, needle, needle the human female and her coworkers.

I cast a little spell on the dispensettes, the gizmos used to dispense a fixed aliquot of various somethings in the teaching lab.  Suddenly, O-rings are failing left and right.  The humans are blaming the harsh chemicals in the chromatography solvent, but we know better, do we not?

I have continued to use what I learned from my dimwitted thunder god of a sibling, making sure that even though there have been multiple days with massing black clouds and thunder, no more than a smattering of drops have fallen on the human female’s yard.  Just to mess with her head, I leave random amounts of water in the rain gauge–a quarter inch here, half an inch there.  Not a day goes by that she doesn’t pray for a real, soaking rain.  The weather mavens have been calling for a cooler, wetter weather pattern for fall.  “El Niño,” they call it.  They haven’t reckoned with “El Loki.”

I have meddled with the electronic door locks YET again.  It never gets old.  This week I had one of the doors adjusted so that it could not be opened from the inside or the outside.  True, there is a back way into the room which may be used for entry or egress, but it is most inconvenient, and a bit of a safety hazard, should evacuation become necessary.  Oh, and by the way, is that gas we smell in the very same room?

Then there was the Great Banana Incident of 2015.

Most of this has been but a minor annoyance to the human female, which is why I have something extra special planned for today.  See this browser history?

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Copied to her boss in 3…2…1…

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Again With the Backpack

Despite my publicly shaming her about the contents of her backback, the human female has done nothing towards cleaning it out. Well, all right, she has recycled the macaroni and cheese cup and the tuna can, but still!

To…ah...encourage her to winnow out the junk in there, I discreetly loosened the lid of a mostly-full water bottle, thoroughly moistening the contents of the main compartment. She was thus induced to empty the thing. Its contents are currently spread out on the dining room table, drying out. Her poor little purse took the brunt of the wet is turned inside out to expose the sodden lining.

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No real harm done–her eyeglass prescription was a total loss, but if she’s smart, she probably has other copies. What am I saying? Of course she doesn’t!

At any rate, perhaps she will be motivated to sort out all this stuff as it goes back in in a day or so. In the mean time, I think I see a $20 bill she shouldn’t be allowed to keep… Sigyn, want to go out for lunch?

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