What do Yelp’s squiggles say?

A Strange and Wondrous Beastie, Part III: Doesn’t Anyone Have Anything Else to Do Today???

Captain Toothpaste Ad has wangled his way aboard my fine Tettigoniidous steed.  How to kill all the romance of an outing in one fell swoop.

Yelp?  You too?  Sigyn, did you send out engraved invitations or something?!


म तपाईंको शानदार काठको क्रिकेटमा सवारी गर्न चाहन्छु? के तपाई मलाई यो गर्न दिनुहुनेछ?

Sigh.  Go ahead.  It appears that I’ve chartered the hexapod equivalent of a party bus.

Oh, and now the Kitty Committee wants in on the action.


Just so you know, Blackie, I didn’t invite you.  Muffy is Sigyn’s friend and you’re just a regrettable plus-one.  Fisi, you can bite him, too, if you feel like it.


Cat, are you coming or going?  And Stark, if you so much as bat an eyelash at my sweetie we are going to have a rousing game of kick-the-man-in-a-can.

“Komm her, Remus.  Join me upon this so magnificent inzect.”


“Hold tight mein Freund, und keep an eye on zat…thing on ze ovipositor…”


Sleipnir’s fetlocks!  Didn’t anyone stay home today?!


Oh, great.  Now the cry-baby clown wants in on the action.


Benno, you are scared of, among many other things (including dandelions and air molecules), both bugs AND heights.  Do you really think climbing up for a ride is a good idea?

>|: [


A Visit From the Eater Bunny, Part IV: Well, Hel, Let’s Just Get Everyone In On It

Guess the word got out that we’ve got candy, because the whole damn gang is here now.

“We do not have gummy rabbits in Wakanda.”

“There’s more sugar here than in my Sugar Dojo.”


“Friend Steve, what flavor do you think this large butterfly is?”

“Dunno.  Think I should lick it and find out?”


“Ja, Remus.  Die karotte ist much gummi.”


तिमी मेरो ललिपप स्वाद गर्न चाहनुहुन्छ


“I don’t have my blaster with me, but if any of you chumps even thinks about nibbling on my buddy Groot, keep in mind I don’t need no blaster to stomp ya into hasenpfeffer.”


“I admire a man who doesn’t feel threatened by a pink bunny.”

“And that blue one matches your lovely outfit.”


“You know, little dude, I could build you some armor so that no one would dare try to bite your ears off.  Interested?”


Lick it!  Lick it!  Lick it!  Lick it!”


Benno is scared of butterflies.

I could have predicted that, I think.

Fisi, NO!


>|: [

Ice is Nice, Part III: Well, I Suppose That Was Predictable

Sigyn has got the hang of skating forwards, in a circle.  That’s wonderful, my sweet!  We’ll have you skating backwards and doing triple putzes, twizzlers, and alpaca spins in no time at all!

Uh oh. Ever one to share her good fortune, Sigyn has telephoned a few friends.  We are probably now to be invaded by all sorts of people whose company I could cheerfully do without.  Sigh. All I wanted was an afternoon alone with my dearest.

Yes, here they come.  Yelp and Benno are first to arrive.  Yelp seems quite excited!


म यो असल बरफ को अनुमोदन! बस जस्तै हामी घर फिर्ता छ।


Benno is less enthused.

Oh, hooray.  This just keeps getting better.  Sigyn’s friend Muffy is all right, I suppose, but look who’s here now.

“Greetings, brother!  I am eager to join in this festival of winter sports!”

“You’re not my brother, Thor.  And does this look like a ski slope to you?”


What an idiot.   Honestly.  That man would bring a fluffy cat to a taffy pull.

And now that insane racoon is here!  At least Sigyn is kind enough to talk to him so I don’t have to.


“Rocket, where’s Groot?”


“Well, it’s like this, ya see?  Turns out Sapling Groot’s only hardy down to about 27 °F, USDA Climate zone 9B.  I’ve got him in the cold frame until things warm up.”


How is this my life?

>|: [

Why Is This So HARD?

Argh. Dammit all to Hel.  Everything is stinky beyond measure, and I am in SUCH a bad mood.

I hate fighting with Sigyn. Well, that’s not right.  We’re not exactly fighting.  You have to be talking to be fighting.  No, we’re doing some sort of relationship rondo:  She explains, I lose my temper, she goes teary and quiet, I say something I regret later.  D.C. al coda…

It’s all Steve’s fault.  Mister Perfect Baker Smiley Man.  Faugh!  Why did he have to show up around here? I thought Sigyn and I had something wonderful going, but what if he sweeps her off her feet?

I don’t know how to make apple cake.

Double arrgh!  I do not know whether to be worried or jealous or angry–or some of each.  I do not know whether to beg or apologize or go punch that All-American right in his star-spangled jerkface.

How do I make things right?  What should I do?  Perhaps it is time to do a little research.

. . . . .


Candy!  Apparently it is a  Midgardian custom to offer sweetmeats as a token of love and/or remorse.  I can do that!  The human female happens to have a very cute little box of candy on her desk.  Someone gave it to her, but she hasn’t eaten it, so her loss.  The tag says “wedding,” though.  I know!  I will tell her it is to remind her of our lovely wedding.  Now I must just go fetch her…

. . . .

Look, Sigyn.  Isn’t this lovely?


It’s…uh, because you’re such a blessing in my life.  Go on, open it!




It’s…um…full of all sorts of foreign sweets!  Do you like them?  Go on, try one!


नमस्कार! तपाईं वेनिला क्यान्डी प्रयास गरेका छन् गर्नुपर्छ। यो स्वादिष्ट थियो।

Triple arrrgh.

>|: [

A Very Fun Find, Part II: The Gang’s All Here

Sigyn thinks the dinosaurs are such fun that we shouldn’t keep them to ourselves.  She has invited some of our friends and acquaintances over to play.


Yelp is suitably entertained.


“अभिवादन, सानो रबर छेपारो.”

Benno!  It is a quarter your size, it is twice as slow as you, and Parasaurolophus is an herbivorewhat are you afraid of?




“These are great!  I could fit them with electronic controller collars and have my own army of tiny dino-bots…”


“Nein, Remus!  I do not sink ze kleine dinosaurier vill make ze Zoom! Zoom! noises iff you scootz it on ze floor.”


“We observe proper manners in my Sugar Dojo.  Now bow, to show honor to your worthy opponent.”


“Don’t even think about it, Sail Boy!  Back away from Groot or I will blast ya into next Thursday.”


This has been fun, Sigyn, but how do we make them all go home?  I want to sit and play with my dinos in peace.


>|: [

More Goopy Goodness

Sigyn and I have been having so much fun with the wily putty that we invited some friends over to play.

Muffy and Sigyn have all sorts of plans for it…


… though it appears that it makes a lousy jump-rope.

Yelp, is that…?


Why yes.  Yes it is.  A putty angel.

“यो के हो? मलाई थाहा छैन, तर यो खेल्न मजा छ।”

Arnold says it has “ze interestink ferro-magnetic properties. Observe, ze sparkly bits are minute particles of iron.”


Benno is certain it is out to “get” him and is just trying to get away.


Thor has just found out that even dents from the Mighty Mjolnir just heal right up,


while the ever-pompous Iron Man has discovered that there is a huge magnet buried in the ball of goo.  Let’s see you work your way free of THAT, Mr. Smartypants Stark!

While everyone is engaged in stretching and whacking and poking, I think I’ll take a good handful of this and work it down between all the keys of the human female’s computer keyboard.  That should be good for some very colorful language!

>|: [

A Well-earned Vacation, Part III: The Turn of a Friendly Card (Not)

Well, that ended badly.  So craps is not my game.  Perhaps I will have better luck in a new casino, playing with cards.  This looks easy enough–try to draw cards that add up to twenty-one.  How hard can it be?

We seem to have a female dealer this time.  Same suit.  Less smarm.  She’s asked Sigyn to cut the deck.


Come on, Yelp.  It’s more fun if I’m not the only one playing.  I’ll stake you on this hand.

धन्यवाद। कि तपाईं को धेरै प्रकारको छ।


So far, so good.  What is it I’m supposed to say to acquire another card?  “Hit me”?


Yelp has 13, I have 18, and the dealer has 12.  I know that I should “hold,” but I believe I can subtly use my magic to influence the next card…


Augh!  Twenty three!  By Fenrir’s pointy eyeteeth, that was supposed to work!  There must be a magic-dampening field generator hidden in the walls somewhere.  Or else there’s a magic user on staff.  That is not fair!

I shall explain things to the dealer.  I am Loki.  I am a god.  I do not lose at trifling little card games, do you understand?


I think if you consult the rules again, you will find I am allowed to take your top card and subtract it from my hand, which means I have twenty-one and I win.

No, Sigyn, I will not calm d–   Oh, very well.  This is a stupid game and I no longer wish to play.  Let us depart.  Also, Benno is running away and someone needs to stop him before he gets into trouble



म दु: खी छु। मेरो मित्र छोटो-टेम्पर्ड मुर्ख ब्यक्ति छ। आफ्नो खराब बेहोरा लागि, लागि यो उज्ज्वल सिक्का स्वीकार गर्नुहोस्।

>|: [




More Halloween Dress-up

Sigyn and I weren’t the only ones who dressed up for Halloween.  The human female, after having filled out more lab incident reports this semester than in the previous three years combined, rigged herself up as an experiment gone horribly wrong.  She was bespattered with chemical stains, sported a black eye and other contusions, had two ugly-looking gashes sewn up with very convincing stitches, and had a bloody pair of scissors sticking out of her chest.  I offered to help make her injuries even more real, but she declined my assistance.

And then Yelp got into the act.


I think Yelp might be spending too much unsupervised time with my brother…

“हामीलाई अपरिचित देखि कैंडी माग्छु गर्न निस्कने उद्यम गरौं”

And then there’s this poor fellow.  He and I have had dealings before, though we have since made up our differences.  He resides on the human female’s desk at work, and she has recourse to him for stress-relief.


I think she needs to look into maybe taking yoga…

But, I am nothing if not resourceful, so after we got his head back on…


… Sigyn and I made him the best “costume” ever.


A few “stitches” drawn on with a Sharpie marker and a couple of straight pins later:


Run for your lives!  It’s Franken-rex!

>|: [

A Quilty Post-script (Sigyn Speaks)

What did you think of Loki’s diary entry for yesterday? He let me see it. You know, underneath the helmet and the horns and the perpetual scowl, I think he might be a big old softy. About some things.

After we were done taking the quilt photos, a few friends dropped by. Yelp, of course, liked the blue “neighborhood” of the quilt. I pointed out that the Y was down around the pink part, but he wouldn’t budge.


मलाई चिसो कहिल्यै छु, तर यस रजाई सुन्दर छ।

Benno found his B in the mostly-black-and-white part of the quilt, which was quite appropriate.


After tinkering with the camera, the human female took this shot. Benno says it does a good job of capturing the sadness of no one ever having made him a quilt.


Poor Benno. We all made popcorn and watched some movies because it was pouring down rain and too wet to go out, but I don’t think it cheered him up much.

: )