I am Loki, God of Malfunctioning Electronics. The human male’s laptop recently announced its intentions of shuffling off the mortal coil. (Wait. Computers don’t have coils, do they? “Shuffle off the mortal processor” just doesn’t have the same ring.) The newer models of Malus domestica can’t run the Windows emulator he needs, so he had to buy a refurbished older model. There goes all his Christmas money plus the vacation he didn’t take plus some other things as well.
And then last week, without warning, behold! The human female’s tablet!
Just a low charge, right? Plug this puppy in and it’ll be right as rain in a few hours.
Too bad it showed this when it had been on the teat overnight…
Without anything being used, dropping as we watched!
Ehehehe! It would shut itself off soon, meaning she wasn’t even be able to unlock it and rescue any data.
Oh, ho ho! The human male, sick of looking at his wife’s sad face has brought home an early Yule/anniversary/birthday/vacation/Arbor Day/ we’re-going-to-be-eating-a-lot-of-beans present.
Garish box. Let’s open it up.
Um, my pet, don’t pull on that before we determine whether it is, in fact, a pull tab. With this fancy-schmancy packaging, you never know.
All right. It’s safely out of the box and has shed its protective skin.
What an utterly boring color. Should have got the green one.
The other side is at least shinier.
“Hee hee hee! Loki, I can see myself!”
Let us turn it on.
It appears to be functioning.
It said, “Hello”. That’s friendly enough, but unimaginative and bland. Surely, tablet, you can do better!
What a load of polyglottal pretintiousness!
I will finish the set-up. . .
Ipadinn þinn tilheyrir mér núna.