whattheheck

Inn-credible

Once again, Sigyn and I are traveling with the humans. They have chosen to stay at the most confusing inn I have ever encountered. Take, for example, this door near the lift.

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Believe it or not, I did not do this. And what do you make of these instructions for egress in “the unlikely event” of fire? I shall give you a moment to ponder it…

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1) Relative to the room in which we are staying, the map is upside down. 2) Room number 221 has been magically transported to the third floor. (Again, I did not do it.) And 3) The helpful “you are here” dot seems to suggest that we are standing in the parking lot, no doubt watching as the inn goes up in flames. (The map assumes one has managed to find the stairs, which I was unable to locate.)

Like the last inn we stayed at, this one has provided an adequate breakfast, though not one befitting the future ruler of Midgard. It does, however, feature a machine which makes a breakfast in the shape of this state. See what I cooked:

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I have used my magic and my (grudgingly) acquired knowledge of this state to create a precipitation map. Note the plump, perfect eastern portion and increasing scantiness as one moves westward. The Plains and Panhandle are experiencing a drought, while the Trans-Pecos in the far west has had a bare 1.5″ of rain so far this year and scarcely registers at all. Sigyn is inspecting Galveston Bay in the compartment to her south.

Can we go home now?
>|: [

Some days it doesn’t pay to crawl out of the cave.

Some days it doesn’t pay to crawl out of the cave.

We passed a restless night last night. Pretty purple crystals are not very comfortable to sleep on. Also, the desert cools off pretty rapidly at night. (On the plus side, Sigyn apparently likes to cuddle when she is cold, though she talks in her sleep. I must remember to ask her who “Blinky” is.)

That is the least of my worries, however. First light revealed some deeply disturbing side effects from last night’s dinner of dark blue berries. Sigyn screamed when she saw me, which puzzled and hurt me, since she has become somewhat used to my presence and, while I dare not hope she has come to love me yet, I had not thought that she finds me alarming. When I beheld her sweet face, though, I uttered an oath of my own.

We can still see and hear and speak, but even if we find help today, who is going to want to come anywhere near us?!