why do villains always monologue?

Revenge of the Flora, Part 5

“Hey, Charles Broccoli, you seen the Big Boss anyplace?”

22-charles broccoli

“Yeah.  He’s just over there.  We’re  s’posed to take these two to him.”

“Come along then, ladies.  And don’t try anything funny.  We’ve got you surrounded.”

23-carted away

<“Psst, Muffy?”>

<“Yes, Sigyn?”>

<“I…I’m scared.  I wish Loki were here.”>

<“Don’t worry.  They outnumber us, but I think I can take them if I have to.  Don’t forget–I may look like a pussycat, but I’ve got about six black belts.  Keep your head and we’ll come out of this just fine.”>

<“Okay.  I’ll try.  I’m so glad you’re with me!>

“All right, ladies.  Say hello to the Big Boss, Mr. Justin Peachy.

24-big peach

“Greetings.  You can call me Just Peachy.  And this is my right-hand man, Cornbear.  Come closer.  Let’s have a look at you.”

“What do you want with us?”

“Well, little Sigyn, I’ll tell you.”

25-see here my little friends

“You’re friends with the human female, yes?”

“Yes, but–”

“And you’ve seen the state of her lawn, haven’t you?”

“Yes, but see–her foot’s been in a boot and she can’t mow and–”

“And she has that dead tree in the back yard, right?”

“Yes, but–”

“And did she or did she not forget a cucumber in her fridge until it turned into a puddle of yellow goo?”

“That could happen to anyone and–”

“And you’ve seen the sad state of the plants at her work.  Your friend Loki likes to take the credit…

dead violet

“…but we all know that she’s in charge over there, so if something dies on her watch, it’s her fault.”

“But what do you want with us?”

“Basically, little girl, you and your feline friend here are just bait.  Associates of mine are keeping your Loki busy on the other side of town.  The human female will have to come and rescue you.  And when she shows up, it’s payback time.”

“You mean—?”

“Yes.  She will finally have to answer for all of the abuses that flowers, fruits, and veggies have suffered at her hands over the years.”

Oh, no!  What will you do to her?”

“Let’s just say she has an appointment with some pruning shears and some herbicide and let’s leave it at that.”

“But, please, couldn’t you–?”

“No.”

“Damn.”

(to be continued…)