yule shopping

Yule is A-coming, Part III: Great Fenrir’s Fleacollar, MAKE IT STOP!

So the Yule shopping is going on…and on… and on.  The human female is looking for brocade ribbon.   And books for small people.   And a certain “yummy bergamot and cedar” hand soap recommended by a friend of her mother’s.  But can she look at just ribbon and books and hand soap?  NO, SHE CANNOT.

She is looking at everything, and by Odin’s monocular vision there is so. much. CRAP to look at that we will probably still be wandering aimlessly come the spring equinox.

And the crap is starting to take on a very disturbing slant.  Look at these!

cap-tissues

As much as I adore the thought of blowing my nose on my brother’s oafish face, and as much as Steve’s goody-goody-ness still gives me a rash and kidney failure so I don’t mind if he is snotted on as well, I fail to see the pressing need to make a product like this at all.  What’s that?  The actual tissues aren’t printed with their stupid faces?  That takes away all the fun and makes them an even more ridiculous idea.

Sweet glittering Bifrost! There is more:

thorbook

NO!  The godson does not not need any stickers this year!  Keep moving!

Augh!  There is my stupid brother not brother again!

thor-book

The shelf may say “Charlie Brown,” but the hammer and the dorky helmet are a dead giveaway.

The thorribleness is everywhere.

thormask

There are thornaments…

thornament

Vintage thor…  (Yep, 12 cents is about what he’s worth)

oldcomics

Grumpy thor…

thor-figure

Ugly 3-D thor…

more-thor

Constipated thor…

thor-figure2

This thor has bits you can swap out with Frost Giant parts.  That…  That is a good idea, actually.  Let’s see how he likes being ostracized and ridiculed for a little chilly DNA.

All in all, far too much blonde Asgardian beef on sale today.  I think the needle on my thor-o-meter is ticking into the red zone.

Please, can we go HOME now?

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Yule Is A-Coming, Part II: His and Hers Gift Ideas

While the human female is dithering about what to purchase for the people in her life who can stand her for long enough to be counted “friends” (family, sadly, do not have a choice and are stuck with her), Sigyn and I are looking over the merchants’ wares.  I’m hoping Sigyn will give some indication of something she might like for a gift.  She’s actually difficult to shop for–she’s so blessedly cheerful that she likes everything, but I’d like to find her something she like likes.

There is some festive yarn in colors we both approve of…

christmas-yarn

…but her knitting efforts aren’t always the most successful.  (It’s the only craft I’ve found at which she is not proficient.)

She might have fun with this Sweet Shop setup…

sweet-shop

…but we both prefer real food to plastic. (If the human female doesn’t get off her procrastinatory behind and produce some Yule cookies very soon, I shall have to make my displeasure known.)

What are you looking at now, dearest?  Oh.  Um.  That’s…interesting.

changing-hair-color

Yes, the aqua hair is very… different.  Yes, it might be fun if you could change your hair color at will, as the blue-haired goddaughter is wont to do.  But please remember that my magic is at your disposal, and should you truly wish to alter your lustrous chestnut locks, a simple temporary glamour is an infinitely preferable alternative to hair dye.

Aha!  This is more like it!   Stupid names, all of them, but these fierce fellows would make an excellent addition to my army.  Would I not look magnificent riding one into battle?  Come, my pretties.

pack-of-raptors

Hmm.  It would appear that Sigyn is also making new friends.

flying-lions

Or, at least, the blue-eyed flying cat seems open to rapprochement.  The green eyed one seems to be uncomfortably wondering who had the bean empanadas for lunch…

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